Gotta Have Love
by SerasKucheki
Summary: Feelings were never a strong point for Castiel since he hadn't been on Earth for very long. As he tries to figure it out, things don't go too well for the Winchester brothers or an archangel who suddenly begins to help. Rated T for now, may change.
1. Prologue

Gotta Have Love

There wasn't much that Dean Winchester could say he had not seen yet. It was mostly because of his line of work of being a hunter that he had seen it all; from ghosts, to demons and from the first demon to hell hounds. Of course, that was before he woke up in a very small wooden box gasping for air a couple months ago. Then come to find out that an angel had saved him from Hell, an angel named Castiel. By meeting this angel it was the beginning of a whole new ball game and they had to learn quickly. The war was now between Angels and Demons. The Winchester family plus Bobby and Castiel were stuck in the middle having to deal with the seals. If they were broken, Lucifer would rise and that was the last thing they wanted.

For Dean he saw things differently now than he did before he went to Hell. It probably began with how he had lost his brother to a demon. Sam was taking the advice and help from Ruby refusing to listen to him. It was ridiculous! Just because he had been gone for four months didn't give his brother the right to go over the edge. As much as he would like to trick himself over the information he couldn't anymore. He could blame the person who showed him what his brother was doing but that would be childish. Castiel only wanted to help him.

Dean just had too much to think about as he was drinking at a bar. He never did any of the research since Sam was always so willing to do it. The small sound of glass meeting the table wasn't heard to anyone else except for Dean. He looked around the room after finishing his three shots wondering if there was anyone interesting to flirt with. His mind was racing and he needed a very good distraction. Just as he was about to get up and go after a certain busty blonde, a hand landed on his shoulder. He looked back ready to hit whoever it was but instead, his thoughts calmed and he felt at home. Dean couldn't explain why he felt at home as he looked at the intense, bright blue eyed angel had a streak of only being able to appear directly behind him. At least this time there was a chair to put a few inches in between each other.

"Dean, we need to talk." he stated levelly using his powers to read Dean's mind that he was about to go confront the blonde. Castiel knew he was still having trouble with the information of Sam tapping into his powers given to him by Azazel but it wasn't like he could try to…comfort him.

"Cas, can't you go bug someone else? I need this time off." he sighed shrugging his hand off before trying to walk away. Castiel would have none of that as he moved in front of him and touched his forehead zapping them back to the hotel. Dean was in the middle of taking a step so instead of standing upright when they landed back at the hotel he nearly fell over, if it wasn't for Castiel in front of him. The angel's arms wrapped around the human to help steady him. Dean quickly pushed away from the other not even bothering with a word of thanks. "What is so important Cas that you had to drag me back here?" he asked noticing that at least Sam wasn't there to make things even more awkward.

Castiel was used to the odd ways that Dean acted when they were close. Then again he wasn't a model citizen only understanding enough human interactions to barely get him by while he was on Earth. "You are still unsettled over the information with Sam." he stated, expression never changing from the calculating one he always wore.

No matter how long or often Castiel would give him that look it would forever be uncomfortable. He was an angel of the lord making it even worse because he _knew_ that Castiel was able to look into his soul, very deep into his soul. Then again this was the angel that raised him from perdition, stitched him completely back together, and was now constantly coming to bug him for help. If anything this was the first time that Castiel came to him without needing something in return and it felt nice. However, he would never be the type of person to easily talk about things. "I'm over it." he said quickly and instantly moved to put distance between him and the angel.

The angel tilted his head watching Dean move over to one of the beds and sit down. "I do not think you are over it Dean."

"And how can you assume that so easily?" he asked looking over at Castiel annoyed that he could just think he knew him so well. It had only been a few months, maybe half a year they knew each other and he was trying to say he knew him inside out.

"You hardly talk to Sam right? It's hard to see the both of you in one room as well." pointed out Castiel as he walked over to where Sam's laptop was left open. This was still a device he didn't understand completely and he pushed on the lid closing it shut, wondering what it did.

Dean was even more confused by Castiel's words. The angel barely had time to even think about God's orders and now he can read some basic human interactions? "When did you become Dr. Phil?" he asked.

"No I am still Castiel." he assured Dean not sure why he would call him by someone else as he looked from the laptop over to Dean.

"Not…never mind." he sighed as he walked over to the fridge to grab a beer. "I'm not going to spill my guts to a dick angel so you might as well just pop me back to the bar." Dean really didn't want to deal with Castiel's questioning but really it was the other's eyes that bothered him. It was so unfair that his vessel already had bright eyes and now they were piercing with the fierceness and loyalty that Castiel had. He meant that in a completely straight way of course! Castiel is a great friend, even better ally in this war and he will remain that way.

Castiel looked around the room not completely sure of what else to say since he wasn't the best at human emotions and could only barely tell when something was upsetting Dean. He knew that there was no reason for him to make this much of an effort for his charge. All he was supposed to do was make sure Dean didn't die, help him out, listen to his orders, and stay completely to Heaven. It was already odd that he was willing to do this much for his charge to actually care for feelings that he didn't understand. His main goal mostly involved figuring out something strange happening to his vessel. He had never heard of any other angels having problems like he was facing before. Usually he could ignore his heart but when Dean sometimes got too close, stared at him for a good amount of time, or talked highly about him, it was hard to ignore the quickening rhythm. Sometimes it would feel like his chest tightened when Dean mentioned women, like when he saw him talking with the blonde. Nothing was making sense to him since it would only happen around Dean which is why he thought if he helped Dean with his emotions he could figure out what was wrong with his vessel. He would ask Jimmy but he mostly kept his vessel under wraps so he wouldn't be exposed to the evils he dealt with on a daily basis.

"Dean I just…" he started before stopping himself because as an angel you never did anything for yourself, it was always a team effort for Heaven. "Something is wrong and talking works right?" he asked since he didn't have Sam here to help him out.

Dean looked up when Castiel first said his name and raised an eyebrow when he stopped. It seemed like he changed the whole question but he didn't really care. "No, what it does is make you weak. I don't need to talk about my feelings because when someone does, it quickly becomes a chick flick moment and there's to be _no_ chick flick moments." he stated.

Castiel tilted his head not understanding the phrase "chick flick moments" and it didn't look like he was going to clarify it anytime soon. "You are my charge." he explained.

"Stop with that bullshit!" he snapped nearly slamming his beer down as he looked over at the angel. "I am not your charge. You pulled me out of hell, thanks. Now stop worrying about me!"

There it was again, the tightening his chest and he wanted to yell things back at him or do something against what the other was saying. Instead he only remembered how Dean was just his charge, nothing else. "Fine Dean." he said and he was gone in a blink of an eye and small sound of wings.

Dean somehow felt guilty maybe even a little bad for how he had forced the angel to leave. He shouldn't be feeling like this because it was just Castiel, he was an angel, a soldier, and a dick. Those were perfect reasons why he shouldn't worry about how he talked with him or how their goodbyes went. "I bet that hot blonde isn't even at the bar anymore…" he mumbled thinking of the first excuse he could to not leave the apartment and quickly finished off his beer.

It wasn't too long and only a couple beers later before Sam walked into the motel. Just the way his brother looked messing with an empty beer can bottle did he know that something was wrong. However, as easily as that was spot he could also tell that his brother wouldn't want to talk about it either. His brother needed to stop holding in his feelings like that. "Okay what happened? Did all the chicks turn you down?" he asked.

Dean just grunted as a reply not even bother to pick up the beer bottle as it tipped over and rolled off to the floor. He walked over to the bed peeling off his coat as he went on his way. "Nothing happened I just wasn't in the mood."

Sam kept his mouth shut even if he knew better and set his bag down on the table. "You know, it won't hurt to tell me at least something." he pointed out to Dean as he felt the other's bed make a sound as he lied on it. He sighed as just more quiet came from the bed and he looked back seeing Dean trying to hide underneath the blankets. Just once he would like for Dean to talk with him without Sam needing to guilt trip it out of him. The only good thing about how this whole situation was playing it is that he knew exactly who it was. It wasn't a hard brain teaser to know that somehow his brother and Castiel had some kind of bond. He also noticed how when the angel appeared when he wasn't around their encounters weren't the most pleasant and always left Dean like this. Sam didn't take pleasure in seeing his brother in this kind of pain but he just wished he would realize what is going on between the two of them. It was a two way street though. Castiel was an angel he didn't need emotions but the more time he spent with the brothers the more you could catch micro expressions crossing his face if you paid close attention. The both of them were feeling something, just not acting on it.

* * *

Alright here is my first chapter. It is the beginning of my first chapter fanfiction involving Supernatural. There will be multiple pairings but the main ones will be Destiel and Sabriel. It will begin before the episode 'The Rapture' but not too far from it. Reviews are nice and I hope you enjoy the story as I update it.


	2. Anna

**Pairings**: Dean/Anna and with a small pinch of Dean/Castiel.

* * *

Anna

As much as Dean would love to hate Ruby and keep it that way, she continued to make herself useful and help keep Sam and him alive. There were still plenty of doubts concerning Ruby and her giving them news about a girl wanted by demons alive was pretty sketchy. Sam was beginning to get good at convincing him because instead of trying to find another lead to a case somewhere else, they were driving to find out about this Anna. When they got there, Dean was glad that her information was correct, Anna was a real person and in real trouble. They got her safely away from Alastair and now they were hiding in a cabin to keep their whereabouts unknown.

Everything seemed to be going just fine until Anna suddenly sat up straight tilting her head. "They're coming…" she said softly.

"Back room!" exclaimed Dean as Ruby and him quickly moved into battle ready positions just waiting for the demons to show up while Sam was the one to make sure Anna was safe. Dean kept one shotgun and he handed the other over to Sam. The same thought crossing all of theirs mind was how badly they must want Anna for angel radio if they were able to pinpoint their location this quickly. The door quickly flew open and after a few seconds Castiel and Uriel walked inside. Dean was the first to lower his shotgun but didn't really smile since the angels could be dicks. "Cas, man I'm glad you showed up we've been having demon problems all day!"

"Where is Anna?" asked Castiel not liking the orders they were given but it needed to be done. An order was an order and as a good little soldier he would do it even if he didn't want too.

"You guys are going to help?" asked Sam looking hopeful that they would have some powerful allies this time around.

"No, Anna has to die." he answered looking very serious.

* * *

"Dean…you don't have to help me." assured Anna as she walked up to the Impala. Anna felt horrible that she had brought a small battle of Heaven and War to the brothers. It wasn't her plan and she wanted them to stop before they had any harm done to them. They had found out that Anna was an angel, Heaven wanted to kill her, demons wanted her for reasons, they couldn't get her grace back, and that she had willingly fallen to Earth.

Dean just shook his head with a small smile. "This is where most people would call us insane because we're going to help you." he stated simply. Even if in Heaven's eyes Anna was a traitor she wasn't evil and they killed evil things while helping the good. "I want to know though, why would you want to be one of us?"

Anna raised an eyebrow at the question looking at him closely. "Why? You have no idea how great it is to be a human do you?" she asked.

"Great? It's horrible and the only way to get what we want or at least keep what we have is by fighting tooth and nail to keep it, making us miserable. So I'm sorry that I'm not too keen on living a human life like you are. Angels are powerful, how would you not want that?" he asked trying to figure out why an angel, of all things would want to be a human.

"Father had done right by humans Dean. They have free will, emotions…even the bad ones." she said finding it great that now as a human she could express emotion and do whatever she wanted.

"Sadness."

"Love."

"Pain."

"Sex." she smiled at him, nearly a smirk.

Dean had to give her that and smiled right back. "You got me there." he said not sure if he could honestly give up sex, it was awesome.

"Being angel isn't as cracked up as you think it is. We are so perfect that we might as well be a statue. All we go off is blind faith, never questioning, never feeling, and that is why being a human is better. That is why I see why God said that the human race was his perfect creation." she explained a little further for him.

"I guess then that you're happy you weren't able to get your grace back right?" he asked.

Anna continued to look at him and nodded a little. "Yes I am but now that I have a death sentence on my head I do not think I can live without having it back." It got quiet between the two after that since it was hard to find any real words to say. "It's not like I'll ever be forgiven. I betrayed Heaven, broke the big rule."

"That's still not a real reason to do this though. We've all done things that we are not proud of." he stated purposely looking away.

"Dean I know what you did, the angels talked about it a while ago." she started softly hoping that this wouldn't upset him and it looked like she was close to it already. Anna quickly reached a hand out to his cheek. "It wasn't your fault."

Dean bit back any kind of reaction of what was being talked about and found his eyes averting hers constantly. "I don't, I don't wanna…don't wanna..."

"I understand and you should forgive yourself." she assured him just wanting him to know it wasn't his fault. Anna searched his eyes when he was finally able to look at her and she leaned up to kiss him softly on the lips. It didn't even last that long before she pulled away.

Dean looked pretty confused and wasn't sure of how he should react for once for being kissed by a girl, well angel. "What was that for?"

Anna just smiled at him, "I don't know. It is going to be my last night on earth…" she pointed out her eyes glancing at the Impala for a second.

* * *

If Sam's brother knew what Dean was about to do there would be two things Dean would say. One, he had nowhere to speak since he had done the same thing with a demon and secondly, she wasn't technically an angel right now. Dean climbed over Anna who was lying on the back seat of the Impala and working on getting her coat and shirt off. He leaned down and kissed her again as his hands slowly moved to help with her pants. Everything seemed to flow from that point as clothes were discarded and he found his back resting on the leather of the back seat. Her hands slowly moved up his chest and to his shoulders. She lowered her body and no matter how many times he did this it always seemed to feel the same. Tight warmth that he could never tire of and his hands moved from her hips to her thighs.

Slow movements were in the beginning and their breaths got heavy quickly not helped by the fact that it was hard to keep their lips off the others. Dean didn't move much wanting her to get used to it first but soon Anna was moaning and getting faster. It didn't take too long after that before they were both moving to get more of the pleasure and the car was feeling pretty warm at this point. He almost thought it would have been better to have a window open. Her movements paused wanting to have it last as long as she could and there was something bothering her. She looked down at the burn making Dean's attention finally avert from her body. Anna knew it was a mark, a mark of the angel who had fought tooth and nail to save the righteous man. In a way it was sacred territory and she moved a hand boldly to rest upon the burn.

At first it wasn't a problem but as the hand rested there as if trying to claim that spot he got uncomfortable. He didn't let it show on his face or with his body language. Without letting her see how uncomfortable it made him she even gave his arm a light squeeze over the burn. Only one thing should be going through his mind and how he was having sex with a pretty hot woman right now but instead his mind quickly shifted gears. Castiel. Just that one name and for some reason instead of turning him off it was a neutral feeling. He didn't feel turned on but he didn't soften either, which was a good thing because that would be the most painful thing to explain to Anna right now. Even when she began to move again on top of him sending pleasure spikes rolling through his body his mind's eye was focused on the trench coat angel. So many things were wrong with that but he couldn't keep a small part of him holding onto the image of bright blue eyes studying him intensely.

* * *

Dean was almost glad for Uriel coming into his dreams last night just so that he wouldn't have to deal with the wrong thing occupying those as well. He was quickly downing the bottle he had when Sam and Anna walked into the room. "Isn't it a little early?" asked Anna.

"Its two am somewhere." he pointed out mostly drinking to drown the decision he had made last night. Dean couldn't even look at Anna's face and as if on cue the barn doors flew open. In walked Uriel and Castiel. Sam quickly pulled Anna farther away from the two angels.

"How did you find us?" asked Sam narrowing his eyes and when Castiel gave away the answer as usual with just a small flicker of his eyes he looked over at Dean.

Anna looked at the angels and then at the way Dean was still avoiding to look at her. "He had no choice…I know how they work. It's either me or you Sam." she stated and looked pretty calm with the decision that the hunter had made for her.

Dean still felt like shit though as she took it in such stride. He felt her hand on his arm and he finally looked at her just in time for her to kiss him. Instead of the calm feeling he should have had there was panic. Panic that Castiel, who was standing not even ten feet away, was able to see him kissing someone. Something was really wrong with him if he was worried about a dude watching him kiss a hot chick that he had just banged last night. Yet no matter how much he tried to shake the feeling it continued to dig itself deep inside of him even though the kiss only lasted a few seconds. If he wasn't focused on trying to ignore the feeling of panic he would have been able to see Castiel's eyes darting to the side and away from the sight.

Castiel had orders to take care of so the last thing he needed was for his vessel's body to begin acting up again. His chest squeezed at the sight and the only thing that saved him from the other symptoms that happened when watching Dean with others was the aversion of his eyes. He was really beginning to worry for his vessel but didn't know who to turn too. Once he was done here he could try asking Dean or even Sam however there was a pretty good chance that neither of them wanted to talk with him especially after they would eliminate Anna.

* * *

Sam's idea of putting Heaven and Hell in the same place saved Anna's life and she was even able to get her grace back. He also got the courage to talk to Sam about his time in Hell and now that they were back safely in the hotel he was tired. Dean had barely kicked off his shoes and took off his coat before using it as a blanket to pass out on the bed. He was mostly still thinking about everything that happened today and feeling bad that Anna was an angel again. After listening to her reasoning behind being a human it was nice to know that their lives were hell but compared to being a statue soldier, it was better. He'd still like the mojo angels have though it would be really handy in a fight.

When he finally did pass out instead of dreaming of the things that should be occupying his mind it was anything but that. Instead he was dreaming of the back of his Impala, sweating, too warm for comfort, and a body on top of him. For some odd reason he couldn't see the face of the person even though it was all too clear of who it should be. Anna was the only one he had actually had sex in the back of his Impala with since he usually wouldn't want to risk getting it dirty. The windows were fogged and when she leaned down for a kiss he felt scratches instead of smooth skin meeting his chin. He looked confused as he pulled away from the kiss still not able to see the face. Dean was sure it was a memory of that night because then her hand moved to his arm it wasn't uncomfortable, instead it felt right. His eyes tore away from the burn to look up and see Castiel.

The dream was broken as he quickly sat up looking around as if expecting to see the angel there in the room but he wasn't. He knew angels could appear in dreams but why would Castiel force himself into that dream/memory specifically with no end game of forcing him to do a job? Dean looked over at Sam's bed glad he didn't wake up and ran a hand through his hair. When Anna touched his burn it made him feel uncomfortable but yet in his dream it felt right. _Maybe it was because in my dream I could make it feel right. It wouldn't have to be the fact it was Cas because that'd just be weird!_ He continued to convince himself that it wasn't because it was Castiel's hand on his burn in his dream it was because in his dream he could change reality. Castiel was just there as a fluke, a complete utter fluke.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Pretty much this is a chapter setting up the fact that not only does Castiel harbor feelings for Dean but Dean has feelings for Castiel as well. I hope you guys still enjoy the story even if it seems to be going a little slow. Reviews are appreciated ^^~


	3. Human Behaviors

Human Behaviors

Many things had been bugging him for the past few days and they mostly circled around the last hunt they went on. It involved a Siren, a supernatural being able to take on the appearance of their victim's desire. They can appear as a lover, friend, or anything else the person may long for. The Siren somehow targeted Dean and what made it worse is that the Siren was in the form of a man. Check number one of what was bothering him off the list. It wasn't like the Siren had declared the reason was because he wanted a loyal brother so it shouldn't bother him but reason number two to check off the list. This Siren had piercing blue eyes to the point that every time he looked at him all he could think about was Castiel. It almost made him wonder why the Siren didn't take the form of Castiel at times and that scared him. He wasn't supposed to want or in a Siren's case desire the angel. Of course he also had the words that Sam had said while they were both under the spell to think about so his mind was pretty busy.

Dean had just gotten done interviewing the families of the recent victims while Sam was still at the library doing research. It was always nice to come across another regular case like this one. Ghosts and vengeful spirits were definitely hunts he was beginning to miss. Most of their hunts now consisted of demons or helping the dicks of the sky keep seals from being broken. Even if it was a regular salt and burn case he still felt drain after a day's full of work. He tossed his keys onto the table while snatching up the remote and took off his coat, tossing it on the bed.

"Now time to kick back and watch some Dr. Sexy." he stated as he plopped down on the couch with the remote in hand. The room was just about as crazy as the rest of the motels they had been in and just as small. There were two beds that could barely fit two if they were to try but they never needed too and a small couch plus television for entertainment. Just as the channel was found there was suddenly Castiel in the way of the television. The angel's head heard the music of Dr. Sexy MD and he looked at the television tilting his head to the side slowly. "Cas?" he exclaimed surprised but also annoyed. If he was here than apparently he would have a job for him to do and all he wanted was to relax. Then again why did he always come along when he seemed to be thinking about him?

Castiel didn't answer him right away as he continued to stare at the television. It was a very interesting device and he decided he would like to figure out how it works. When Dean was about to say his name again Castiel turned around to look back at him. "Hello Dean." he said after he had assessed the television as much as he could at the moment. He wasn't here to figure out how human things worked, he was here for another reason.

Dean could tell now by looking at Castiel's eyes that the Siren didn't catch the brightness that was in his eyes. He quickly averted his eyes at that thought and got up to go get a beer out of the fridge. "Are you ever going to tell me why you're here Cas?" he asked him able to tell the whole time he was walking and getting a beer that Castiel was staring at him. _It's almost like he's…_ His thought process was disturbed as he turned around to find Castiel right behind him. "Christ!" he exclaimed barely keeping a hold of his beer and leaned back a little to get some space between them. "Do you even know how to walk?" He didn't notice that his body actually didn't get very far from Castiel and instead of doing the usual stare off he was looking anywhere but at those damn eyes.

"That's close to blasphemy and of course I know how to walk. I cannot lose that ability since I am able to heal myself." he answered the other and as almost to prove that his vessel wasn't ruined he walked over to the table to stand next to Dean.

"Dude, sit down." he said motioning to the chair only earning a head tilt. Dean groaned a little and leaned back in his chair as he took a drink of the beer. "Just tell me why you're here."

"Under orders."

"What orders?"

"Orders from Heaven."

Dean just stared at Castiel wondering if he was doing this on purpose or if he wasn't able to tell why he was here. "Am I involved with these orders?"

"Yes." nodded Castiel but not making any move to explain. Dean continued to stare at him expectantly and after a few minutes of silence he was officially losing his patience.

"Are you going to elaborate?"

It was Castiel's time to look confused because his last answer didn't have anything he could elaborate on. He was glad that now with this extra time with Dean he would be able to try to learn how to hold a conversation. "There is nothing to elaborate with the word 'yes' Dean." he explained. "I am here for help if it is needed."

Dean was about to lose all his patience when he first spoke but then the second part confused him. "I thought you weren't here to 'perch on my shoulder'?" he asked remembering that phrase very well from when he first said it a while ago in his dream.

"No I am not but helping others is a good thing right?" Castiel knew his orders were to just watch over Dean and play on the sidelines as the two brothers went hunting but he still couldn't help but feel the need to help them. He was already walking a tight rope since his superior did not like how he was coming attached in a way to his charge.

"Yes but usually humans have another agenda when they do it. What do you want in return? More help with seals?"

Castiel furrowed his eyebrows slightly and Dean was honestly glad for that. He was glad that as Castiel spent a little more time now on Earth he began to show more emotions or let them slide by. "No why would I want something?"

"It's called human nature Cas."

"But you don't save people for anything in return." he pointed out to him. "That's why you're the righteous man."

Dean shook his head at that quickly drinking the rest of the beer before tossing it in the trash. "I still think you got me wrong there." he mumbled under his breath.

For some reason Castiel felt the urge to put his hand on Dean. He didn't know where it had come from and was trying to decipher of which human emotion that it could possibly be. His hand actually began to reach out but then the door opened as Sam came into the room and it was back at his side like there was no attempt at all to touch the oldest brother. "Hello Sam." he greeted.

Sam looked up at the voice surprised that Castiel was here and Dean wasn't taken away. "Hey Castiel, is there a seal nearby?"

"No I am just here to lend a hand if it is needed." he answered.

The youngest Winchester didn't even really look that skeptical as he set his laptop down on the table. "It's always nice to have another hand but we're just on a regular hunt." Sam was glad in a way that Castiel was here and it was just him. Uriel, the other angel they had met other than Anna was as gently as Dean puts it, a dick. He also put Castiel into his place a lot like the angel was a baby and he could understand how that could be annoying. He wouldn't want anyone else to be treated like that as well so it was nice to see him by himself. Once his things were set down he walked over to the fridge and suddenly he felt a close presence. He tensed and looked to the side seeing Castiel peering into the fridge. "Do you want something?" he asked as he grabbed a coke bottle and closed the door.

Dean wondered how Sam could stand being so close to Castiel. It took him…well not too long to get used to the angel's no sense of space but he hardly did that with Sam. Then again why was he doing it with Sam anyway? He frowned as he leaned over the table looking down at the wood as he tried to get his mind off of what he was just thinking about. He did not get jealous over the fact Castiel was standing impossibly close to someone else, that was even worse than what he had been thinking about any other time concerning the angel.

"No I don't want anything." Castiel answered as he shook his head. Sam shrugged his shoulders and went to sit at the table to explain what he had found out to Dean leaving Castiel by the fridge. That gave the angel the opportunity to open the fridge again seeing the light on and close it. _Did the light stay on the whole time?_

"So what are we up against?" asked Dean trying not to get distracted by Castiel's antics with the fridge. His curiosity was beginning to peak and it was taking a lot of willpower not to ask him what was going on.

Sam opened up a newspaper article of a man who had died in the house and the cause of the reason was never found. "It's the usual case of a vengeful spirit so we will have some trouble as we try to find whatever it is keeping the ghost there in the house." he stated.

"Do we hav…" began to ask Dean but then a frustrated sounding Castiel was what interrupted him.

"Does the light always stay on?" he asked turning away from the fridge and looking at the two.

Both of them looked over at the angel but neither of them knew how or what he was talking about. Sam glanced back at Dean waiting for him to answer because he's been here the whole time. He would be the one who could actually have some kind of idea. Dean gave him a quick glare for pointing him as the one to find it out. "What light?"

Castiel opened the fridge door and pointed at the light. "This cold place where you set your drinks has a light does it stay on when the door closes? If it does there would be no point since nobody is trying to find anything and…" he continued to ramble showing how much of humanity he really didn't know.

Dean almost didn't want him to stop because while he talked about it, he could see the stuck up facade slip away and if he squinted enough, maybe some humanity since he still had this notion angels couldn't be human at all. "Cas..." he said really surprised when the angel stopped his rambling right away and looked at him expectantly. He blinked a little hesitating for a few seconds. "It turns off when you close the door."

"No it doesn't."

"Yes, it does Cas trust me." he assured the angel.

Castiel shook his head turning back to the fridge to open the door and slowly close it. "I don't see it turn off."

"Just, come sit down and stop thinking about the damn fridge."

The angel looked torn for a few seconds because he really did want to know how it worked. He decided to give it up for now and walked over to sit on the bed closest to the table. "Castiel, will you be able to sense what object it is we are looking for?" asked Sam looking over at him.

"I may be able too." he answered. "It's a vengeful spirit and his body was cremated?" he asked even though he had already gotten the information from Sam's mind.

Sam nodded in agreement before realizing they hadn't really had dinner yet. "Should we go get dinner and then rest up before going to find the item? There's really no point in trying to go during the night when we can get a tour of the house from the current residents." he said to Dean who just nodded getting up.

"Wanna come with Cas?" he asked the angel.

"I do not need to eat." stated the angel with a small furrow of his eyebrows.

Dean shrugged his shoulders, "Yeah but you don't have to stay here alone either."

Castiel didn't explain why that particular sentence Dean had said got him to agree but he nodded as he got up. "I will come with."

* * *

The next day, Dean, Sam, and Castiel were walking up to the house that was being haunted. Dean and Sam were in their black suits and Castiel stuck with his usual clothes. "Now Cas, you don't need to talk, we can handle that. All you need to do is find the object so we can burn it." he said again to the angel not sure of how much he should actually repeat it. The angel wasn't very good at conversation and he would definitely give them away if he tried to speak up. Castiel nodded not wanting to ruin their hunt and he was very good at following orders.

Sam was the one mostly doing the questions and talking while Dean every now and then interjected his own question. The wife, the only one who was home at the time was answering them to the best of her abilities. She was explaining her grandfather and how he had died even though there was no point for that information since he had already looked it all up when they went to the police station.

Dean couldn't help but glance at Castiel when the lady wasn't looking at him because he was worried. The angle wasn't paying attention to them at all and looking around the house. He knows he told him to look for the object but he didn't think he would make it so painfully obvious. Then he remembered he was dealing with an angel that knew nothing about human behaviors.

What made the situation quickly go bad was when he walked right over to the fireplace that had a small fire going and plucked what looked like a piece to a train set off the mantle. "Oh, please don't touch that." pleaded the woman as Castiel tossed it into the fire. His job was to find the object so they could burn it and there was a fire conveniently going. That didn't end well and they had to quickly leave with Dean pulling a confused angel behind him.

* * *

Even though he shouldn't be laughing with what had happened it was kind of funny. The woman flipped out on the angel and all he did was stare at her like she was the most interesting thing on the planet. Sam was trying to point out how they had just hurt a woman who was dealing with the fact her husband had died of unnatural causes but Dean was ignoring him. "Damn that was funny." chuckled Dean as he moved to grab a beer from the fridge and drink it.

"How was it funny? Crying is funny?" asked Castiel looking in between the brothers.

"No it's not funny Castiel just…next time don't touch anything."

Castiel tilted his head at that, "But I was to find the object correct?"

"Yes you were but we do not burn the objects in front of the people."

"Then how would you have gotten it?"

Dean made the beer bottle hit the table hard enough to gain the two's attention. "Okay Sam stop bitching. Cas took care of our hunt for us. Hell we didn't even need to deal with the ghost because of how quickly he took care of it."

"Yeah but if we want him to actually learn correct human behavior." he started before looking at the angel. "Do not take lessons from Dean." Sam then looked back at Dean, "This isn't how we go about it."

The older brother's eyebrows furrowed at that declaration. "I never said we were trying to help him."

Sam was now the one confused while an angel who knew nothing of what was going on stood off to the side. "Why else would you let him come with us then?"

"He said that we could have him help us if needed."

"Help?" he asked not believing that and sighed getting up from his chair. "It was a regular basic old hunt Dean, why would we need help?"

Dean didn't have a good answer for that one and tried to come up with an excuse. "I just…didn't want him to stay…Cas, did you mind helping us on the hunt?" he asked him to get the subject off of him.

Castiel shook his head, "No I did not mind helping with the hunt even though I may have foiled what relationship you had with that woman."

Sam rolled his eyes and went into the bathroom to go take a shower. If his brother wanted him to come along that was fine, he just had to say so not give a pitiful excuse of them needing help. Dean didn't say anything else either and went to go watch television. Castiel looked back and forth between the two of the door and Dean hoping that he didn't upset the two of them. He suddenly tilted his head and the light flutter of wings signified that he had left the room. Dean looked back at where the angel used to be and instead of feeling uneasy, he just assumed that the angel had some other work to do.

* * *

**Author's Note**: I'm glad I got another update done and now the only thing that should be interrupting me and updating is work (when I hopefully get a job XD). I hope you guys like my update and continue to read~!


	4. Disobedience

Disobedience

Crying was the one thing that Dean Winchester hated the most about the human life. The reason behind this was because it showed weakness and yet he had cried in front of an angel, an angel! He even cried over his fears of what had happened and how his time in Hell had changed his life It was the angel who had said he had Alistair tied up enough, the angel who jumped in, the angel who saved him from hell, and an angel that was slowly becoming a friend even if he could be a dick. However Castiel did seem to be relaxing and just as Uriel had tried stating before, he believed Castiel was beginning to care. Maybe being stationed to watch over him closely was helping the angel begin to touch into the human side of him even if it was a vessel. Either way Castiel was beginning to do small things in helping them. One of the ways was how he came when he asked for some help. The first time that happened it was pretty shocking since he was never one to believe in God until he had a permanent mark left behind from one of his soldiers.

One of the best moments where Castiel had helped them was when Sam was to be visited by Lilith of all people. He was trying so hard to get out of the town but there was forces working against him keeping them there. No matter what they tried it still lead up to Sam getting it on with the big demon they were hunting. Dean decided to try again to call Castiel who came and actually helped him in his own way even though just a few hours before he said differently. Sometimes he could just kiss the damn angel when he came to help them like that and not in a literal sense he just really appreciated the help.

The help didn't last long though since after he was taken back to bible camp he's back to being a dick. He won't help them let alone tell the information he had found out before he was sent back to Heaven. It was annoying beyond anything else he had experienced yet. Castiel still came when he called but that didn't meant he would answer all his questions or at least the important one. Dean just figured that the way Castiel was acting when he came into his dream that it was important, so this time around while his brother was detoxing, he would try to get him to answer the question.

"Cas…I know that you've been a dick lately but it would be really great if you could come talk to me now." he said looking up at the sky and frowned after about five minutes of silence.

Castiel was there, watching him as intensely as he usually did. He couldn't help it he was a soldier of Heaven meant to do God's work. He wasn't supposed to help the humans unless given an order and he especially wasn't meant to listen to Dean. It still hurt though to watch as Dean continued to call out for him even after an hour of no answer. The angel refused to move from his spot and he knew the reason why he was making Dean go through this but he also knew the Winchester's pain was still just beginning. He made himself visible and he was standing under a solitude spotlight in Bobby's junkyard.

Dean was about to give up when he turned around and spotted the angel in his usual dirty trench coat. He couldn't help but feel happiness when he saw him however the anger of him taking so long and being a dick won out. "Where the hell have you been?" he asked but when he saw the angel making no move to answer he continued. "Could it have killed you to get here sooner? I've been calling for an hour." he glared slightly trying to keep himself from showing anything else other than annoyance and anger. He wouldn't dare let on that Castiel ignoring them him was really beginning to get to him.

"I do not take orders from you Dean." he pointed out but did move to stand by his side again. "Is there a reason you need me?"

"Yeah how about you tell your angel pals to hurry up and save those damn seals! They're breaking too quickly for you guys actually trying to keep them from breaking."

Castiel shook his head, "I cannot tell my garrison what to do, we take orders and we are trying Dean."

"Not hard enough!" he snapped and it got quiet between the two. Dean looked off to the side crossing his arms and Castiel could tell he was in turmoil with what was happening to his brother but he couldn't help. He was allowed down here again because he had two jobs to do and they both involved the Winchester's, separately though. This conversation wasn't really getting anywhere and he didn't know how long Castiel would stay. "I already have a feeling that you'll still be a dick and not tell me what you found out so…how about you answer a different question then. Zachariah said that I was to stop the apocalypse."

"Yes but you would have to give yourself over wholly to work under Heaven." nodded Castiel feeling that urge rise again. The urge to warn Dean about the best way to stop the apocalypse was right there, in his head and all it took was for him to open his mouth. His voice however was still silenced as he watched Dean mull the idea over in his head. Even if he had control over his body his eyes were beginning to give him away. He looked like someone trying to tell Dean to say no but with Dean no longer looking at him for him being a "dick" he would never see the warning he was unconsciously giving him. He was given the whole low down of what was to happen and even now he was uncomfortable with it because of the biggest order God had given them.

"If I do this Sam won't need to worry about drinking demon blood again?" he asked as he turned away running a hand through his hair.

Castiel felt, key word felt another ping of pain because he would have to lie. "Yes, so do you give yourself up to the work of Heaven?" he asked.

Dean sighed deciding to just go head strong into it. "Yeah I do."

"You need to say it."

Dean this time did glare at him because he didn't like the idea of working for the angels when he knew all along they raised him for their purpose. If it was to keep Sam from the need of drinking demon blood he would do it. "Fine, I give myself wholly to your God." he said not able to sound a little testy when he said the word God. Castiel's face didn't look pleased and hardly showed any emotion other than his eyes trying to learn how to say he was sorry for what was going to happen. Dean did notice the non-existent triumphant smile as he would have expected from all angels at this point and was thrown off losing some of his anger. "So…what now?"

"Now, you wait."

* * *

Everything was going wrong as usual. He thought he had done the right thing but Zachariah told him that the angels wanted Lucifer free and that he would take down Lucifer, not Lilith. That was something he would not have expected and he tried calling Sam to only get his voicemail. He thought for sure his brother would have called him back by now and even after learning that he was stuck here or would be stalked by angels by Castiel he tried calling again. "Dammit!" he cursed as he ran a hand through his hair and stuck his phone in his pocket.

"Dean, I'm sorry but you can't reach him." stated Castiel appearing behind him and if he wasn't such a great soldier he would have winced at the look he was given by Dean when he turned around.

"Don't even start with me Cas, you're part of the reason I can't talk to him!" he snapped because the angel hadn't really told him everything about what he was signing up for and now his brother was out there trying to kill Lilith all by himself while he was stuck here.

Castiel looked off to the side for a few seconds before back toward Dean seeing that the look hadn't changed. Again he wanted to tell him the whole truth but instead he bit it back just as he should. He didn't serve man and he didn't serve Dean. "I know that Dean but you need to be safe."

Dean rolled his eyes walking away from Castiel. _Why did Cas have to turn back to being a dick when it was this close to the apocalypse?_ He still couldn't help but want to keep talking to him in hopes that he would remember how close they had gotten and tell him what he was going to say before. If Castiel didn't know about it anymore he wouldn't be acting different. Even he could see that something was a little wrong at times and depending on what he brought up with the angel. "Cas, I need to get to my brother, I said things that I didn't mean…"

"I can't do that Dean, no matter the reason." he stated and this time Dean couldn't stop himself and he didn't know how he could even have done it. He turned around and punched the angel in the face. Castiel's face snapped to the side but he slowly turned his head back to face the human as he turned around cursing at the pain emanating from his fist. "I'm an angel Dean you cannot hurt me like that."

"Fine! If you don't want to help and stop the apocalypse that will kill millions of people leave!" he yelled deciding to just resort to anger. "You are going to stand by while many innocent people die for your stupid angel war that could be fought somewhere else!"

Castiel stared at him knowing that he was telling the truth and again he remembered the one thing that God had always said. To protect the humans since they were his greatest creation but the most fragile. That's when he began to look at all of Dean's life which he had witnessed since he was one of the very few angels who watched over him to make sure that Sam and Dean grew up to help with their purpose or at least that's what he received as revelation nowadays. He was so confused about everything and it didn't help that he had Anna's words, Dean's, his superior's, and God's. "I cannot. It is written."

Dean's eye twitched at that, "Fuck what is written Cas! This isn't right and you know it! I know that last time they took you back to bible camp but you _have_ to see that this is wrong and you should help me stop it." The angel stared at him not sure of how to take that and barely showed concern in his face. Somehow Dean knew that he was getting across to him but his face was back to looking stern. "Cas I know they probably threatened to kill you but if there's anything worth dying for, it's now."

As much as he would have liked to disagree with that he just couldn't because dying wasn't on his agenda. He was an angel and he shouldn't be able to die unless he disobeyed and he didn't want to do that, angels fell for disobeying. Castiel instead disappeared from the room to go think by himself so he wasn't going to continue to get yell at for something he couldn't control. He was born to follow and obey nothing else.

"Stop running from this!" he yelled again and moved to pace the room quickly trying to calm himself down. Even though Castiel wasn't there anymore he continued to rant about how much of a dick he was becoming as of late.

* * *

Considering disobedience was something that Anna had tried to make him do months before this so why was he actually considering it now that Dean had said something? It had to deal with that tight feeling he got when he was around him, saw him with a woman, when he would stare at him for so long, or just the fact that was completely and utterly different from any other human he had ever encountered. He was sitting up in Heaven in his own area so that no one could bug him trying to sort out his thoughts. God loved the humans and stationed him on Earth to watch over them so why were they supposed to let the apocalypse happen? Oh right because there was orders from God saying to do so but that was going back on the first original order. Then Anna's words came to his mind again. _They are not our Father's orders Castiel. They have to be coming from someone else._ The angel bit his lip wondering why now of all the times he was given orders he didn't agree with that it took the way Dean had said it for him to actually consider disobedience.

Zachariah suddenly appeared next to him looking down at the angel with a mistrusting glance. "Castiel, I came to make sure you were still in the game." he stated because Castiel was a great soldier and they would need him to keep Dean's head calm when it came to the time for them to use him. The older angel knew about Castiel's predicament and everyone easily sensed it from him as well. He wasn't as strict and he was seen trying to care for humans.

Castiel's body tensed right away when he sensed the other angel and looked up at him doing his best to pull on the stoic and non-emotionless face of a soldier. "Yes."

Even if it was probably a show Zachariah believed the younger angel and would just have to keep a close eye on him. "Good, now just make sure that Dean can't leave." he said before he disappeared with a flutter of wings.

Right away his face melted from the soldier look to one of concern. He was really learning human emotions by just being around the Winchester brothers and felt uncomfortable. Castiel knew what was going to happen, knew the outcome, and he suddenly couldn't deal with the idea of Dean going through that. What Dean had said had finally broken soldier wall he had put up ever since the fall of Lucifer and disappeared from Heaven.

* * *

"Brother, why are you here?" asked Raphael who hadn't taken a vessel yet so she looked exactly as she did in Heaven. Her appearance is long black hair that reached past her waist, intense brown eyes that if they could, would harbor lightning inside of them, and to everyone else, she was just a blinding white light that would burn their eyes out.

"Sister, please, it doesn't have to end like this. There's no reason for the apocalypse." he said surprised he even had the courage to stand up to her when usually as a fledgling he would never speak up to her about a decision she didn't agree with. Raphael had to be the scariest of the archangels only because she constantly showed annoyance and wrath. Her favorite element of showing anger was lightning which is why when she was truly angry, one could swear she had lightning bolts in her eyes. "We are supposed to take care of the humans."

Raphael only got angrier at the proclamations coming from the younger angel. "You are saying that you wish to defy orders?" she asked finding it unbelievable with what this garrison had presented her with. First Anna, loyal until she suddenly disobeyed and fell, secondly, her own angel Uriel had switched sides and wanted to let Lucifer free for other reasons and now Castiel. "I thought you were better than the rest of your garrison Castiel."

Castiel didn't know how to answer the question and he knew that he was still a very loyal soldier except this time he had an opinion. It was something he didn't need and couldn't have if he wanted to stay alive. "I can't let you ruin this planet and kill millions of humans Raphael." he said gathering what was left of his courage even though it nearly dissipated at the sight of her eyes flashing.

"Traitor!" she yelled and in a flash she killed Castiel. In laments terms she had made his vessel explode and killed the angel inside.

From the moment that he went back to that room and showed Dean how to make the blood spell to expel angels for a few minutes he was sure this is what the outcome would be. He knew that he would die and it was painful. Not because he didn't want to die, he would face death with his head held high but instead it the pain rooted from what he realized were some kind of feelings for Dean. They were the reason he stood up to Zachariah, took him to Chuck, and sent him away before Raphael could kill him. Castiel would no longer be able to see Dean and that's what hurt the worse right before he had died but at least he knew he gave Dean and Sam a chance to change their destinies and keep Lucifer trapped in his cage.

* * *

"Children are always difficult…" sighed a man as he bent down where Castiel had last stood and ran his hand over the ground. "I wasn't expecting that one of them would actually stay true." The man stood up as a light began to glow from where he had touched. It soon got brighter and brighter until Castiel was standing there.

Once again he was in his trench coat, suit, and looking around beyond confused. He wanted to know what happened since he was sure he had died and looked down at his body slowly inspecting it. "I am alive…" he said softly and his first thought was Dean and if he was safe. He disappeared not even really sparing a glance or to lend a helping hand to the poor prophet Chuck who was caught in the middle and now passed out on the ground. The man who had supposedly revived Castiel wasn't seen by anybody or around when Castiel was fully alive again.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Very sorry this took a little longer than I wanted and I hope that I can get another chapter up before the Sam/Gabe Big Bang. I will be participating in that and I am planning on the 10,000 word tier. After this chapter it will soon begin branching into a Destiel relationship, I promise but it's going to take a lot of work. Wish me luck and I hope you still enjoy this story~.


	5. Where the Loyalty Lies

Where the Loyalty Lies

Dean had failed two people in one night. His father had warned him about his brother albeit his way of taking care of things was definitely the worst way out and on top of that he had let down Castiel. The angel had risked his life to get him to Chuck so that he could find out where Sam was to only come back with Lucifer out of his box. It was mostly a quiet drive since they were still trying to figure out who got them on the plane and Dean was definitely enjoying the bliss of not hearing anything about Ruby. He was ready to give Sam an earful but he could tell the moment he saw him and the realization of what he'd done, there was no point in it. Knowing the poor kid all he was going to do was beat himself up over what he had done for years to come and here he was being a mute refusing to talk.

The moment they were back in the Impala Sam had to know where they were going. "Dean, I'm assuming we're going to Bobby's?" he asked. It was quickly shot down with a pretty evil glare and Sam would have taken it the wrong way figuring it was because Dean was still trying to get over the fact he had let Lucifer free.

However, the answer he got was in a way unexpected but he could have seen it coming. "No, we're going to Chuck's. I left Cas there so I could go stop you." he stated and that's when the quiet began. No more talking and Dean didn't even attempt to turn on the music.

Sam knew the reason why he was worried about Castiel. He could only imagine what the two of them did to get him to stop letting Lucifer free and on top of that, Castiel was becoming Dean's friend. When that happened, it was so rare that even Sam didn't want to mess it up. He liked Castiel too, he was a great help in sticky spots, a lot of knowledge, powerful, and he had grown on him. Except when Dean worried about a friend like this it didn't feel as tense in the car. Maybe their relationship had grown a little more than he had expected it too while he was focused on his addiction to demon blood. That was another thing whoever put them on that plane got rid of his addiction completely. He was so grateful for whoever it was and knew that he wouldn't drink it ever again. "Dean, I'm sure Castiel will be fine." he assured him.

All that he got in return was a grunt because Sam wasn't the one there to see how angry Zachariah got or the threat of them being killed. Dean knew it was more important to go help Sam at the time but he would have loved for Castiel to come with him or at least made sure he would make it out alright.

The sight of Chuck's house had never looked so amazing to Dean and it was because it helped settle the uneasy feeling he had the whole drive here. He almost hoped that if Castiel got out of the situation with Raphael just fine he would have come to him but that wasn't the case. Sam was worried about his brother because he had driven all night without much sleep and he knew that he needed to get sleep sooner or later. However everything he said seemed to bounce right back at him not even registering into his brother's hearing. "Come on Sam." he said quickly getting out of the car and going to the house.

"Dean, what if the angels are waiting for us?" he asked him following behind slower only since he wasn't too sure of how the angels would react to him. Sam did break the seal but by what Dean had said that's what they wanted which would mean if they weren't after him they were definitely after Dean.

"So what? Cas taught me a trick just in case." he assured Sam leaving the younger brother even more perplexed at what happened in the small amount of time they were separated. Both brothers walked inside of the house being wary because right away they could tell that there was a fight there. Everywhere was a mess and they didn't even know if Castiel or even Chuck was alive. Scratch that of course Chuck was alive since the archangels would want that to continue telling their story. "Cas? Chuck?" he asked loudly not caring if he asked for Castiel first when this was Chuck's house.

Sam was noticing everything since he was more in tune with emotions and was able to tell that whatever Castiel and Dean had talked about or done they had gotten closer, which was nice since Castiel had begun to be a dick again. "Chuck!" he called out walking around a corner only to be hit in the head by a plunger. "Whoa!" he exclaimed trying to show that he wasn't here to fight when he spotted Chuck.

Dean saw him too and quickly walked over to him. "Sam…Dean…" he said utterly confused as to why they were there but then again last night Dean and Castiel did break what he had foretold. "What are you two doing here? Are you okay Sam? You went full on dark side!" explained Chuck just trying to ask any and all questions that he could. One minute he has Dean and Castiel in his room, next minute the archangel is coming down, and then he wakes up to his house in tatters…again! When he talked about the Winchester's being cursed it's more like they curse the people they come in contact with more than themselves sometimes.

"Wait, full on dark side?" asked Dean not hearing anything about this and walked over looking at Sam as he stood next to him.

"Yeah, his eyes were black." explained Chuck looking between the brothers as he visibly seemed to relax.

"Black?"

"I…didn't know…" admitted Sam as he looked away knowing that the path he decided to choose was definitely one he shouldn't have. He should have just trusted his brother like he always used too, he knew he had royally fucked up.

Dean decided to just let it go for now as he looked at Chuck able to tell that he was definitely frazzled by something and concern began to etch onto his face._ Where was Cas?_ "Chuck, about Cas…" he started but he was cut off by the instant look of despair on Chuck's face.

Chuck didn't know whether to laugh or begin crying at that bit of news because that's how it all started. The arrival of the archangel could get messy because they always show off all their power in a matter of a minute. "He was blown up, disintegrated, and pieces…everywhere." he explained. He wrote about these things happening in his books but seeing it was on a whole other level. "I couldn't believe that they did that."

Sam could see his brother's body tense at the words without needing to look at him fully. He wanted to tell his brother that it would be alright but then he left to go into the other room. Even with the new information from Chuck he couldn't help but point out something in his hair. "You have something…" he pointed out directing him with his own hair.

"What?" he asked softly before reaching over and felt the tooth. Chuck looked disgusted as he pulled out it and looked back and forth between Sam and the tooth. "I have, a molar in my hair. A molar…" That's when Sam decided to comfort the prophet who ended up with one of the shittiest jobs on the planet.

Dean was in the next room cutting his hand drawing a blood Enochian sigil on a sliding door. He was glaring at the wall the whole time he drew it remembering every detail. Once it was done he slid the door shut so no one could see and went back over to talk with Chuck more about what happened. _Stupid son of a bitch got himself killed._ He didn't even understand why they had to kill him when he wasn't harming Chuck but maybe it was something else that was underlying the beginnings of guilt for getting him killed. Castiel had warned him about how they would be hunted and killed but he didn't expect them to do it so quickly. His attention wasn't fully focused on the other two as he tried to think of what he was going to do now that they had lost the angel that would have been on their team. Now they just had Chuck but angels were even keeping a close eye on him.

The quiet didn't last long though as a quick chorus of fluttering wings alert them to angels in the kitchen. All three looked over as they slowly walked to the door. "Zachariah." glared Dean not able to hold back all the feelings of hatred for what they did to Castiel.

"Hello Dean, it's time you came back to us now." he stated with a wide smirk ignoring the other two as he focused on the older Winchester.

"I'm not going back." he declared standing tall and confident. He still had his ace in the hole.

Zachariah's smirk slowly faded as he took a few steps closer to him. "We need you safe and you were given a chance thanks to that traitorous seraph but play time is over. Can you see how serious this is?" he asked before he noticed Dean's hand was bleeding. "You're bleeding."

Dean smirked a little at that and moved to the door. "A little insurance." he said before quickly opening the door to reveal the blood spell. Right away Zachariah tried to reach for him yelling at him but it wasn't fast enough. He pressed his hand in the middle and it zapped all the angels away. "I learned that from my friend Cas!" he shouted angrily and bit his lip. His voice almost cracked when he yelled that since he couldn't believe that Castiel was really dead and now the worry of the angels being there had been pushed back awhile. It fully hit him then that the last thing Castiel was able to do to help protect them was show them this spell and try to get him to stop Sam. He clenched his fists tightly and even though Sam had more questions for him he just pushed past him ignoring every single one.

* * *

The boys were doing pretty well at running away from the angels up until the point that they were searching for the Michael sword and believed they had found it. Dean warily walked into the building finding it odd right away since they weren't getting attacked by demons. The demons knew where it was since they possessed Bobby and fooled them to get the information. He led the way into the room seeing bodies lying on the floor and frowned. "Did they get it?" he asked beginning to get worried since that would just be the perfect way to end the day.

"I don't know Dean but I don't see a sword…" answered Sam as they both kept close to the way out before a group of people appeared in the room.

Zachariah pushed one of the dead bodies with his foot and smiled as he looked up. "If these demons only knew…they had the Michael sword in their grasp nearly the whole time." he said gaining the brother's attention quickly as he looked up at them. "Hello Dean, Sam."

"Excuse me? They had it the whole time?" asked the older brother and they both heard the door closing behind them but it wasn't like they could much about it anyway. Zachariah found them and he wasn't going to be able to draw the angel banishing spell fast enough.

"Yes, it's you, Dean."

Dean looked over at Sam for a second before looking back at Zachariah. "I'm supposed to kill Lucifer."

Zachariah scoffed at that shaking his head. "I can't believe you would actually think that you, a maggot full of insecurities and self-loathing could defeat Lucifer. No, you're just a sword."

"You mean I'm a vessel?" he asked not expecting that since he was told he would have to defeat Lucifer. Being a vessel meant he would still technically beat him, it would just be his body gaining the credit. Neither of the brothers could understand why the angels just wouldn't say this from the beginning but then it clicked in Dean's head. "You need my consent. Michael needs my say so to run around in my body." he stated smugly because there was no way he was going to let that happen. The apocalypse was going to kill off nearly the whole planet and he wouldn't be the cause of that after trying so hard to help it.

"Sadly yes, we do need your consent but that's why I've decided to just skip the easy step and move onto the hard way." he said already knowing Dean's answer and seeing as he made an angel betray orders to get away from him before, this was the best option. His fingers snapped and Sam curled in on himself coughing. Blood appeared on his lips from the pain Zachariah had unleashed on his body.

Dean looked over at his brother wanting to help him but he knew there was no way he could since it was angel mojo. "This won't make me say yes." he glared at the angel.

"Figured as much so let's see you heal yourself from…stage four stomach cancer." he smirked down at him while Dean doubled over coughing and feeling intense pain from his stomach.

"Go ahead and kill us!" he exclaimed fighting through the pain.

"I can bring you back and start it all over again." Zachariah stated looking at Sam with a small head tilt. "Let's see how long your brother can last without his lungs." Instead of Sam feeling pain it was gone and he couldn't breathe anymore. He gasped falling back onto the floor trying anything to get his non-existent lungs to fill. "Are we having fun now?"

Dean was all ready to tear Zachariah a new one when there was a sudden flash of light from behind the angel. Everyone's attention turned around to see Castiel take out an angel blade from the dead body's neck and begin to fight the other angel. Zachariah's eyes widened, Sam was too busy trying to breathe, but Dean was the one who look relieved. He watched every movement of Castiel's as if that would tell him for sure if it was really the angel. Dean knew Chuck wouldn't lie about Castiel's death so now it made him wonder how he was here, saving their ass again.

After the next angel was killed Castiel took a relaxed stance with the blade pointing at Zachariah. "I think it's time you put these two boys back together and left." he demanded having a powerful undertone lift his voice and make Zachariah shiver slightly.

"You can't be here…you're-" started the elder angel.

"Dead? I was, but then I was brought back." he finished off for him. Zachariah shook his head not wanting to believe that God was still around and able to make decisions like this. They hadn't seen any interference for the longest time from their Father that everyone was beginning to assume he was dead. "It's a good question to ask yourself but there's really only one person who could have put these boys on that airplane and brought me back." he continued. "Now, put these boys back together and _go._"

Zachariah knew he was bested at the moment and stood up as straight as his dwindling dignity could allow before he was gone. Sam had lungs again gasping while Dean slowly stood up taking in every inch of the angel who saved them again. Dean was looking for any wounds that could be lasting from the other battle and judging if it was really him or if he did die and was waiting to be regenerated by Zachariah. "Cas?" he asked.

"You need to be more careful Dean." he said walking up to the two brothers and did a quick check to make sure their bodies were fully back together. "I need to hide the both of you." Castiel placed his hand on the brother's chests and engraved an Enochian spell onto their ribs hiding them from every angel ever created. "This will keep any angel from finding the two of you."

Dean and Sam both felt a sudden pain run through their chest but it was gone as soon as it was there. "Did you carve it onto us?" asked Dean feeling a slight warmth still left behind from where Castiel's hand was and earned a quick head shake.

"I branded it onto your ribs." Castiel corrected Dean.

"Castiel…were you, really dead?" asked Sam needing to know the answer to that even though Dean would like to stay off that topic. It was obvious when Castiel touched him and created that pain that he wasn't dreaming, Castiel was really truly _alive_.

Castiel glanced from the two quickly before he nodded. "Yes I did die but God brought me back."

Dean couldn't believe that he nearly lost someone who had gotten close to him. He almost wanted to hug the angel but he refrained himself. It was odd for him to be acting like he was his brother, a hug for being safe and having the feeling of complete dread when he thought he was dead. That's when he took an extra step back and closed off those feelings of being close to Castiel yet he felt so much better knowing the other male was alive. "Are you sure he brought you back?" he asked.

The angel was having doubts about that himself and instead of answering he turned around and disappeared. Sam and Dean were just glad they still had Castiel on their side and they needed to go check up on Bobby. On the way there Sam could easily see that his brother was calmer then he had been in days. He didn't have a feeling he _knew_ it was because they knew Castiel was alive. Even though Dean would usually be lost in thought after learning big news like this but instead he was willing to talk through the news of him being a vessel and the situation with Bobby. That was an even bigger clue to him being more content and at peace of mind now that they knew Castiel was alive. Sam smiled at that wondering if his brother would actually try to fight for this one or give up like he did with Lisa and Cassie. At least Castiel was with them, knew exactly what was going on, and even staying with them.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I am very sorry for the long time it took to update this story but I worked on my Sabriel Mini-Bang all summer and just _barely_ got it in! If you are watching the community for the Sabriel fanfics I will be in there and hope you guys enjoy my hard work. I will now be focused on this story for the rest of the time, thanks for your patience 8D.


	6. Too Much

Too Much

Dean's emotions were still confused about the dreams with Castiel happening more often and now on top of that he was dealing with being away from his brother. It didn't work out when Sam ran away when he was younger and when he left to go to college. He just really loved his brother and he had him around more than anyone else to the point he became dependent on him. His brother was just stronger in that area to where he didn't _need_ Dean like he needed Sam sometimes. Dean was washing his clothes after another hunt when he suddenly felt a presence behind him. He glanced up before cursing and slamming one fist on the counter. "Cas, you have got to stop doing that." he said glad he had just gotten done washing his jacket and turned from the counter to have Castiel pretty much up in his face. All he had to do was not recall his dreams and everything would be fine. "Personal space."

"My apologies." stated Castiel as he backed up and his face showed his confusion when he did so. This was the first time Dean brought up personal space making him wonder if he had missed a conversation before.

"How did you find me? I thought I was flying low on the angel radar." he asked walking away from Castiel back to the bedroom part of the motel room. Dean was just glad that Castiel didn't know anything about his dreams or acted like he did in them…that would cause a lot of problems with him that he didn't need.

"Bobby indulged your whereabouts for me." he answered following after Dean and making sure this time to have some space in between them. Castiel was catching onto something being wrong with Dean but for the human's privacy, he didn't look into his mind anymore and so he was left to guess on what human signals he understood. It wasn't many yet he was able to pick up that something was different recently between Dean and him when he was around.

Dean absently nodded just focusing on keeping all the dreams locked away in the back of his mind so this conversation could end normal. "Cas, what are you doing here anyway?" he asked him.

Castiel continued to stare at the hunter for a little longer before answering the question. "I need your help in finding God and there is an archangel on Earth right now that might be able to tell us where he is." he explained.

* * *

Dean and Castiel got back to the abandoned house they were squatting in just until they visited the man who had an archangel in him. They went to the police station to find out about the explosion with some difficulties in helping Castiel with his tie since he remembered how he used that particular tie in a dream to make the angel stay close to him or using it to tie his hands. If Sam knew what he was going through or saw that interaction he would definitely tell him he had a problem, an angel problem. Dean barely made it through the day after that and since Castiel got the holy oil it was time to find a way to pass the time until tomorrow morning. "So what were you planning on doing since it might be your last night on Earth?" he asked Castiel. He felt slight déjà vu since he nearly did the same thing with Anna a year ago though he was the one having sex with her.

"I was planning on just sitting here quietly." answered Castiel as he sat down in the chair and stared at the opposite wall. He was mostly sitting down so he wouldn't feel the urge to get close to Dean when he still had the personal space comment fresh in his mind.

"You can't just sit here Cas." he said as he looked at the angel seeing no movement or change of emotion. Not that Castiel showed emotion a lot but there were still little quirks he was beginning to catch onto. "What no angel cake since you might die tomorrow?" he asked.

Castiel this time straightened his back and looked in a direction farther from the hunter. "No, I wouldn't mind just staying here." The angel also showed more of his nervousness by reaching up and rubbing the back of his neck. He saw many couples do this when he went after the holy oil so he assumed it was a sign for nervousness.

Dean walked over and leaned close to the angel watching him lose more of his mask. "Have you ever had sex?"

"I haven't had occasion…we don't have time when we are in a war." explained Castiel thinking it was a good enough reason so that they could drop this and not speak of it again. He was one of the very few angels that didn't have a mate or even tried looking for a mate.

"Oh no, we can't have you dying as a virgin." he said on a kick about that since they almost sacrificed one before he went to Hell. Dean also thought sex was a great thing that everyone needed to experience so Castiel shouldn't be left out either no matter how awkward he was going to be. "There are two things I'm certain of. One, Bert and Ernie are gay and secondly, you're getting laid tonight." His mind was already thinking of a few things he could do and he was glad he had gotten used to this reoccurring dreams and thoughts or he would not be able to do what he intended tonight, help Castiel. He knew a perfect place for them to pick up woman and once his coat was on he grabbed Castiel's shoulder forcing him up so they could get going.

* * *

Castiel usually had an emotionless face when dealing with any kind of situation but as they sat at the table in the brothel Dean had chosen the angel was a deer caught in headlights. His eyes were wide, he was staring at the same spot in the wall since the beginning and on top of that he refused to look at any of the women. "I cannot be here Dean this is a den of iniquity."

Dean rolled his eyes and took a drink from his beer. "You rebelled, iniquity is just one of the perks so lighten up and take a drink." he urged the angel kind of surprised he listened so quickly and grabbed the beer. "Now there has to be someone in this place that catches your eye."

Castiel's eyes of course first settled on the emerald ones across from him. "I cannot do this." he stated refusing to look anywhere else other than Dean. Dean was uncomfortable only because if you took his words to heart, the person who caught Castiel's eyes was him and he didn't need any more thoughts today than he already had. Yes he was denying the fact he liked Castiel more than he let on and it was for good reason. He had _never_ looked at a guy or had dreams about one before and then that's where he gets lost. Castiel wasn't a guy he was an angel, technically genderless and a big ball of light that hurt your ear. It still didn't stop him from holding back from having something that his heart wanted. "Do we have to stay?" he asked his eyes almost pleading with the hunter for them to go.

"Yes we do now…" he said looking around but a blonde woman barely dressed in anything came up to their table looking at Castiel. "And what's your name?"

"Cassidy." she smiled sweetly still focused completely on Castiel. "What's yours?" Instead of answering, Castiel felt his heart rate pick up and his face turned into complete panic. He tried covering it up though as he took a drink of his beer, a long enough one to nearly finish off the glass.

"Cas, it's Cas." stated Dean trying to help him out and he was giving any and all signals for the angel to speak up but he wasn't taking the hints.

Cassidy moved to put her arm on his shoulder, "Come on then Cas let me show you a good time." she said. Castiel put the drink down as his eyes pleaded with Dean not to let him go as he got up anyway to follow the girl.

Dean almost forgot the most important part, "Cas hold on a sec!" he exclaimed and couldn't help but see the relief in the angel's eyes thinking he was going to save him. He took out a wad of cash and held it up for Castiel. "Don't order anything off the menu and keep it simple." he stated. Castiel almost looked like he wanted to kill the hunter for not saving him. "Don't make me push you."

Castiel had so many things he would love to say to Dean at that moment but he didn't and took the cash so he could follow Cassidy into the back. It didn't take long for them to start unclothing one another but he couldn't stop thinking about Dean and when Cassidy suddenly asked him a question he didn't hear it. He blinked trying to get his brain back to what they were doing. "Your father didn't hate you or purposely left you and your mother to fend for yourselves. He just hated his job at the post office." he stated since that was the only thing to pop up in his mind.

That didn't go over well at all and he was suddenly being screamed at, pushed out the room, and cash being thrown at him. "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK!" she yelled and began storming off. He followed where she was going and noticed Dean had come back. "AND YOU TOO!" she snapped at him.

Dean had his hands up as she walked by and he looked over with questioning eyes. Not that he should have expected more from Castiel but he thought he would at least make it to where they were both naked. "What happened?" he asked.

"I just told her that her father didn't hate her but hated his job at the post office." he stated with a small head tilt glad to see that this little mishap was going to get him out of this night.

"Cas…you don't talk about those things! This business runs on absent fathers!" he began explaining before he saw Castiel's eyes avert to the doorway behind him. Dean looked back and saw two security guards coming into the hall. "Time to go." he said pushing Castiel out of the brothel through the back door.

* * *

Dean was still laughing as they drove back to the building they were staying at and it was all because of Castiel. Just laughing again felt really great since it hadn't happened in a while. "Cas, I honestly thought you would never be that funny." he said after he was able to calm down a little.

"I do not understand what was so funny. I upset the woman you wanted me to mate with." he said even though he was still extremely happy about not having sex he knew he had said something wrong.

"Dude, don't use the word mate okay? It would have just been a quick one night stand." he stated since he didn't like Castiel using a long term word with someone else. Dean quickly got rid of that thought so he wouldn't have to deal with any jealous thoughts.

"I'm sorry Dean." he apologized not realizing it was that big of a deal since that was the term angels used in place of sex as they soon pulled up to the house. Castiel paused at getting out of the car when Dean didn't try to get out or move. The angel watched Dean wondering what was going through his head but wouldn't try to find out since it was only right to let him have his privacy. "Dean…" started Castiel but he was interrupted by a sudden kiss.

Dean didn't know what happened, one minute he had it under control, his jealousy, thoughts, emotions and just everything that continued to build up until he couldn't control it anymore. He had leaned over, kissed Castiel, and now that he was coming to his senses seconds after their lips connected there was no denying what he had done. The hunter still pulled away though in shock but the shock was directed at himself. Castiel didn't even kiss him back and there was no blame for him. "Forget it." stated Dean hoping Castiel had some kind of mechanism in his brain to block out certain memories and quickly got out of the car._ Fucking hell that was the stupidest thi-_

"Dean." appeared Castiel right in front of Dean's face and was closer than he has ever been with the hunter before. Dean would have probably leaned toward the Impala if he didn't want to be the one backing down and waited for the angel to say something instead of just staring at him. Castiel was searching Dean's eyes confused as to why they were showing a little bit of fear and other emotions quickly fading in and out. He didn't understand and knew he shouldn't have done this but he probed into Dean's mind to look for better answers. What he found made his eyes widen, "Dean?" he asked. It was amazing at how much difference there was between the first time Castiel said the hunter's name to the second time. He knew he had some sort of connection with Dean but since he didn't know how to express it fully, he was seeing how Dean would go about it. The angel deemed it perfect advice and before Dean could have a chance to run, Castiel leaned into kiss him deeply.

Dean thought that since Castiel didn't show any interest in the first kiss he didn't feel the same way but this was more than what he had done, making him rethink the first kiss. He didn't know where Castiel had learned to kiss and right now it didn't really matter. It was demanding and if he could think straight as he kissed the angel back he would have realized Castiel was just playing off a dream that Dean had not too long ago. That is the only reason Castiel was figuring out what to do.

Castiel pushed Dean back against the Impala and bit his bottom lip. Dean cursed but it was more of a sound than a word giving Castiel the opportunity to push his tongue into Dean's mouth. The kiss was hot and needy short circuiting Dean's mind by how fast it was moving leaving his hands useless at Castiel's sides. Still taking hints from Dean's own memories, Castiel's hands moved up to Dean's hair to grab what he could and pull him away from the kiss. Castiel moved away from Dean's lips down to his jaw biting and sucking while Dean's mind began catching up with what was going on.

The angel pushed up against Dean and his leg slipped in between Dean's creating friction on his hardening cock. "Holy fuck…Cas." he moaned lightly and maybe it was the fact he moaned or the friction that snapped him awake. His mind was actually tricked into thinking this was a rather hot dream with Castiel dominating for once but he didn't wake up, that was the problem.

"It might be proper to call it that Dean but-" started Castiel, his voice deeper than normal sending pleasant shivers through Dean's system.

"No Cas, hold on." he said glad he was able to come out of it and watched as Castiel stared at him, still pressed close to him, knee against his crotch, and the tingling taste of Castiel left behind in his mouth. "Just stop." Dean wished he could sound more intelligent and yet he knew that was the best he could do.

Castiel was confused but as Dean wished he backed away to his normal close stance. There was a small hint of hurt in his eyes afraid he had done something terribly wrong. "I am sorry I didn't mean to do anything wrong." he said tilting his head a little.

Dean quickly shook his head but then stopped thinking about it. Castiel certainly didn't do anything wrong and he almost wanted to pull the damn angel back to continue where they left off. He knew better though and took a deep breath. "Not now." is all he could come up with for why he didn't want to kiss.

"Did I misinterpret something?" asked Castiel not wanting to have things be sour between them when it was beginning to get somewhere that his vessel liked. Especially since the reaction below his belt was a good indicator.

"No I…" began Dean not sure of how to continue that and shook his head again. "Not now." Dean quickly walked back into the abandoned house they declared their own at the moment leaving Castiel to follow worried and confused.

* * *

**Once again it feels like this update took forever and I'm sorry but I couldn't focus on it as much as I would have liked. I hope you guys still hang in there and keep enjoying the story~.**


	7. Five Hundred Questions

Five Hundred Questions

The next few days after the whole ordeal with Raphael, Dean and Castiel were even more tense than usual. Sam easily knew that since he was back with his brother again and it was nice to see Castiel more often but the tension was ridiculous. Something happened while he was gone and like usual his brother wasn't talking. He didn't try asking Castiel since he was quieter than his brother. It was beginning to annoy him as he watched Castiel get into Dean's space, then both tense, Castiel slowly move away, Dean making a move to get close but then backing away, and the staring they did before was ten times more intense.

At one point when Castiel left for a little Sam decided to get some information from Dean whether he liked it or not. "Dean, even a blind person can see something happened between you and Castiel." he started and watched as Dean rolled his eyes in hopes he would get the idea that they weren't discussing it. "That is just proof enough!" he said instead using it as an excuse to press on.

"Stop it Sam, you tried asking when you first got here and it's only been a few days so I highly doubt that anyone could change their mind that quickly." stated Dean as he decided to unpack a few clothes since they found a hunt and would be staying here for a few days. If he looked busy and ignored Sam there was a good chance he would stop.

"Dean whatever happened can't be that bad." he said trying to reason with his brother. Sam had his own secrets about what happened over the week and a half they weren't together. He actually met up with someone he thought he would never see again and ended up spending a lot of time with said person. He wouldn't talk to Dean about it because it would only upset him so he was going to keep it quiet for now.

"Trust me Sam, it can be." he said and as if paranoid he looked around the room just to make sure Castiel wasn't there.

Sam caught that quick look and raised an eyebrow when Dean's eyes settled on him. "Afraid Castiel would hear?" he asked and got the reaction he was hoping for. Dean glared a little and quickly left his duffel on the bed before going to take a shower. He sighed after the door was slammed shut and wished he would have gotten more than he did. It definitely concerned Castiel and now his hopes were all on the angel coming back to the room before Dean was out of the bathroom.

Luck must have been on his side since it had only been a few minutes after the water started running that Castiel appeared back into the room. The angel looked confused when there was no sight of Dean. "He's in the shower Castiel." he quickly assured the angel who visibly relaxed.

"I am sorry if I am causing trouble." he said right away trying to make up for Dean being difficult. Castiel was trying to learn human quirks from Dean but learning from the hunter wasn't always the smart thing to do.

"Trust me, you're not the one causing problems. It's always Dean who throws a big fit over everything." he quickly assured Castiel and watched as the angel awkwardly stood in the middle of the room. Sam was trying to wait until he sat down but it looked like he still hadn't learned enough about how sitting was a normal human thing. "Castiel, he won't tell me what happened to make things so awkward between the two of you." he started. Castiel looked to the side debating if he should even talk about it to Sam since Dean kept quiet about it. "I don't get why you both are acting like whatever happened is the worst thing imaginable." he said purposely trying to get a reaction this time around.

Castiel shook his head quickly because to him it was anything bad. He really enjoyed what happened and wanted it again. "No it wasn't bad because I've seen humans give out kisses all the time." he quickly assured Sam not meaning to spill it so easily but he wasn't perfect at hiding things.

Sam stared at Castiel trying to let his mind mull over the fact that the two finally kissed. He could easily see that the two of them had a large amount of chemistry but he knew his brother wouldn't take it so well if feelings did begin to develop. Why? Dean always considered himself a ladies man and for what he knew, Dean had never ever been with a man or looked at a man sexually, up until now at least. "You two kissed?" he asked.

Castiel this time fidgeted slightly and sat down on the couch. "Twice."

"Twice?!" he exclaimed now really shocked that it happened.

"At first I was too shocked to return the kiss so Dean got out of the Impala but I followed…and kissed him again. That one lasted a lot longer." he fully explained seeing as there was no point in hiding it now that Sam knew about what happened.

Sam leaned back in his chair definitely needing to analyze this new information for a bit. The two of them kissed, twice and now it really made sense why his brother was being a dick. If he had fought off the growing feelings he had for the angel up until this point the sudden kiss is throwing him for a loop and probably something he didn't plan. "Did he initiate the first kiss?" he asked because with both of them he could see either one kissing first. Castiel only nodded because he could hear the shower shut off. Sam figured Dean was feeling his ears burn and had to know what was going on in the other room.

The moment Dean was in the bathroom he felt like the door was a perfect barrier from his over emotional and questioning brother. A nice shower would help clear his head and give Sam enough time to keep his mouth shut. No matter how much he was going to ask there was no way he would talk about Castiel and his kiss. Dean couldn't stop from thinking about it and when Castiel was close by the urge to kiss him was a hell of a lot stronger than any other time before they kissed. It was getting difficult for him to resist the urge and soon he had a feeling he wouldn't be able to stop again. He shook his head quickly and got into the shower.

Dean just had to go and make things more difficult by actually kissing Castiel. If he just kept his body in control none of this would happen but he was used to taking what he wanted when he needed it. His lifestyle before he met Castiel is definitely to blame which would end up being his fault in the end anyway. "Dammit Cas…" he mumbled under his breath but what he should have been happy about is that when Castiel did come this time, he didn't appear next to him. He appeared outside where Sam was.

After he felt like he had a handle on himself again he finally stepped out of the shower quickly drying himself off. He realized in his rush he forgot to grab clothes but he went with putting on the dirty ones anyway. Once he stepped out he instantly disliked the scene in front of him. Castiel was sitting on the couch eyes never contacting Dean's, always a sign that something was up and Sam sitting with a smug look on his face. "Cas, did you tell him?" he asked hoping he didn't but the angel still refused to look him in the eye.

"You really think two little kisses is that big of a deal?" asked Sam hoping that Dean wouldn't agree to that now that Castiel was in the room.

"Yes, I mean no." he said quickly realizing that he should be careful. Then again he shouldn't need to be careful since they weren't in a relationship but it felt like they were. Dean ran a hand through his hair, "No it isn't."

Sam was glad he was slowly coming to terms that it wasn't that bad of an idea to be kissing Castiel and even with his little slip up he didn't take off right away. "About time we're getting somewhere."

"We're not getting anywhere! There's no reason to talk about this it was just a kiss okay?!" he snapped not wanting to talk about it because there was nothing to talk about. The last thing he needed was his brother demanding that there be something more than just a kiss especially since he was the type to do that. "I made a mistake." he said because he wasn't ready for any of this, it was the jealousy and that was already abnormal for him since he didn't fall for people enough to get jealous.

Of course Castiel didn't realize anything that Dean was thinking and got up from the couch. "I'm sorry but I have some business to take care off." he said sternly doing his best to not show that he was upset by what Dean had just said. When he did look into his thoughts it looked like Dean definitely wanted something more between them but he must have been wrong and he quickly left the room.

Dean cursed right away and gave one look at Sam's forming bitch face before he stopped him. "Don't say a damn thing." he demanded before grabbing his keys and going out for a drive.

Sam really knew he should of but he kept quiet until the door was slammed shut behind Dean. "Dean you're such an idiot…" He knew that Castiel was really glad the kiss happened and he knew Dean was too because he was trying to cover it up. He still felt like he was missing something and if he could figure out a way to get his brother to talk then it would help him immensely.

* * *

Castiel hadn't been around and Sam knew from the beginning that he was avoiding Dean. Like usual though Dean was taking his sweet old time to piece it together why Castiel refused to answer his calls. It's not like Castiel dealt with someone like Dean before. If he didn't have a relationship before now then he just picked the wrong person to start off with. His brother was never easy to deal with and Sam knew it was difficult for him to pick one person to settle down with. That meant no sleeping with a different somebody every other night, getting hurt, and most importantly caring about how the other felt. Dean already showed that he was bad at the last part since he screwed it up by not thinking first.

"Dean, you don't need to hide that you've been calling Castiel." pointed out Sam as he walked back into the hotel room with food and set the bag down on the table.

Dean frowned at that suddenly sitting a lot straighter than he was a few seconds ago. "I wasn't calling, just thinking." he stated as he got up to get his food. The bag was pulled away from him and he instantly frowned. "Okay what the hell?"

"Tell me how kissing Castiel was a mistake and then you can have your food and don't forget, food does get cold after a while." he reminded his older brother now just waiting for Dean to answer him. It wasn't that hard of a question and Dean was so quick to say it he must have some reasons he could say without hesitation.

"Reasons all right? Now give me my food." he said reaching over for the bag only to have it snatched farther away. "It's nothing we're still not talking about it."

Sam shook his head this time not going to let him go for anything less than what he wanted to hear. "We are going to talk about it Dean. If you really meant what you said then you acted like a jerk."

Dean rolled his eyes and stopped trying to reach for the food. "I can go get my own food." he pointed out.

"If you can get the keys away from me." he reminded Dean since he did take the Impala to go get their food. Dean looked like he was seriously debating on that option before Sam glared at him. "This is ridiculous Dean just tell me already."

"Fine! Christ you're such a girl…" he said before sitting down at the table. "One, it wasn't a mistake, secondly, it was an impulse, and lastly, I can't do it."

"Can't or won't?"

Dean shot another glare at him figuring it would go just like this. "I can't do it. It's as simple as that and if you don't want to believe it then try to come up with a reason you'd like better."

Sam sighed as he handed over the bag thinking he could get him to talk after he began eating. Dean was eating quickly hoping if he continued to have food in his mouth no other questions would arise but about halfway through Sam spoke up again. "Is it because he's a guy?"

Dean dropped the rest of his hamburger onto the wrapper getting tired of how determined Sam was about this. "It's not because he's a guy."

"An angel?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"Me! Okay?! Me! It'd be me because no matter how hard I try at relationships I always fuck them up. I can't keep one and the one time I tried it was thrown back into my face." he snapped tired of Sam and his five hundred questions.

"Cassie was different Dean." he tried quickly assuring him and didn't need any clues that Dean meant her. That was the only other person who Dean trusted with the shit known as their life.

"How is it different then?" he asked.

"For starters, she isn't involved in our lives, Castiel is. She didn't understand you and ignored you completely for a long time while Castiel pulled you from Hell putting you back together. That's more than anyone could ever really offer." he reminded him even though it was unfair since they were pitting every girl Dean was with against an angel.

Dean shook his head not believing Sam was taking the other side in this situation. "It's almost like you want me to be in a relationship."

"What if I do? You deserve it and you found someone who is stuck in this fight right alongside you anyway so what's the harm?" asked Sam.

"Sam, I'm not meant to have what you want so instead of trying to force it on me, try getting yourself a relationship." Dean wrapped up the rest of the burger and snatched his drink before going outside so he could hide out in the Impala. Now that he heard his brother's opinion and advice he still couldn't do anything more with Castiel than he already did. He knew he wasn't good at it and there was no chance he was hurting Castiel over his inability to have proper relationships.

What the brothers didn't know that even though Castiel may not have been seen when Dean called him he still came, just invisible. Castiel had heard everything that was said and felt like he needed to go to someone for advice about this but he didn't have anyone who would willingly talk with him except… "Sam?" asked Castiel as he let himself be visible to the younger brother.

To be continued...


	8. Needed Advice

Needed Advice

Sam startled when he heard another voice in the room and he didn't understand how this time Castiel made no noise. "Castiel, when did you get here?" he asked sparing a quick glance at the door just in case his brother would magically show up and scare the angel off.

"I've been here." he answered truthfully not wanting to lie to the brothers even if that meant he was spying on them.

"So you heard all of that?" he asked now feeling really bad for him since he couldn't get his brother to budge. Castiel nodded as he began to look uncomfortable from refusing to sit anywhere. Sam pinned it on that he didn't feel welcome from what Dean had said the last time he was here. "I'm sorry about Dean and you have no idea how many times I've had to say that in my life Castiel. You're not the only one who has had to deal with him and his mood swings." he assured Castiel.

Castiel still didn't look convinced as he walked closer to the table but not sitting down. "I don't think they are considered mood swings." he said since he knew the term was usually used for a woman when they were menstruating or pregnant.

"Trust me Castiel, they're mood swings." nodded Sam knowing them more than anyone else. Sam motioned for him to sit down hoping that he would take the invitation and Castiel finally did after a few moments.

"I'm sorry if I have caused more mood swings as of late." he apologized hating to inconvenience the boys but it seemed like he barely had to do anything to upset Dean. Castiel didn't want to do that since he was still getting the same feelings he had during the kisses from Dean. Sam was about ready to say that he shouldn't apologize again when Castiel continued. "I did not understand the conversation you had with Dean. He has had relations before so easily but he claims it is not my fault he can't have relations this time. It is contradictory right?" he asked hoping that Sam would be able to answer all his questions.

Sam knew things wouldn't be going over this well if Castiel truly did hear all of it and sighed running a hand through his hair. "It is contradictory and I will promise you that none of it is your fault. It's Dean he doesn't…" he said wondering how he should put it.

"You said he deserves it." stated Castiel fixing his piercing blue eyes onto Sam and Sam was glad Castiel could remember things so well so he wouldn't have to repeat. "And I agree with you Sam. I saw his life when I put him back together and even if he doesn't have faith in himself I do."

It was hard to swallow after hearing that and he blamed it mostly on the gaze Castiel was giving him. He was an angel, he didn't need to blink and every time he was saying something to its most sincere, his eyes sparkled with the grace Castiel possessed. Sam couldn't continue looking at Castiel after just a few seconds and smiled softly. "I'm glad you do Castiel and it hasn't changed since you met him has it?" he asked watching the angel nod. He could see why Dean liked Castiel as much as he did because this was someone who has believed in him and has _faith_ in his brother even when he himself lost faith in Dean. "Just don't give up Castiel I know he needs you even if he won't say it."

Castiel furrowed his eyebrows but he did nod. "I will do my best." he said and suddenly disappeared as the door opened to the hotel room.

"Well that was a nice _quiet_ meal in my baby." pointed out Dean emphasizing the quiet hoping Sam wouldn't go back to the earlier conversation. He was already set on not going anywhere with Castiel and there was nothing Sam could say to change his mind.

Sam was okay with not talking about it only because he was distracted in his thoughts. He knew his brother didn't pray, he had no faith, and he knew his brother prayed for Castiel. Yes it was mostly for help or just checking up on things they asked him to look into but he still prayed for him. Even now he was praying for him since he was worried. Prayer was a sign of faith so maybe his brother didn't believe in God, everyone knows his opinion about the subject but maybe his brother had faith in Castiel just like the angel did in him. _Only more reason for Dean to try…_

* * *

Over the next few weeks Castiel began to show up again as he always had and he could tell Dean was a lot more relaxed now that things were getting back to normal. As normal as it could get for the Winchesters and seeing as his brother wasn't making an effort to stay up so late anymore he took the opportunity right away. He took out his phone turning it on silent so it wouldn't wake up his brother and began texting. _'I know it is a little late but do you have some time?'_

_ 'I might have some time to spare for you gigantor.'_

_ 'Well, if you do have time, where would you like to meet?'_

_ 'No need to get your panties in a twist. Just meet me at Frozen World.'_

_ 'Do we really need to go there?'_ asked Sam because he knew exactly what the place was but he shouldn't have expected anything different.

_'Of course we do! I need a certain amount of sugar in me every hour or I will melt!'_

Sam shook his head at the comment but was still smiling as he texted back. _'I'll be there in twenty.'_

_ 'Good boy ;)'_

* * *

Castiel found himself at Dean's side the moment it looked like he was having a nightmare. He had done this several times before but only when he knew Sam wouldn't be able to notice him. It was hard on those nights when Sam would stay up late or would be having nightmares himself since he didn't want to be caught. He knew Dean would be furious if he was there when he could be to help him through his nightmares. Both brothers had enough nightmares when they were awake and he could only imagine what it was like in their dreams. He used to know since he would read Dean's mind but he had stopped that for the hunter's privacy. Now though he couldn't help himself as he rested his fingers on Dean's head lightly. His first intention wasn't to look into his dream but he usually got a quick glimpse before he would ease the nightmare.

Dean had nightmares before about his family dying but that was his family. He wasn't even there for this person's death yet it felt so real and he wished he wasn't there. Dean's body was beginning to sweat and he shifted in his sleep as his dream self somehow appeared back at Chuck's house instead of in the airplane. His eyes blinded by a bright light for a few seconds before it was just gone. _"Raphael…"_ said a low gruff voice that he instantly recognized as Castiel's. He walked into the room in time to see Chuck get knocked out by Raphael. _"Castiel, I heard you went against orders. Too bad it was all for nothing."_ What hurt worse was that he knew what was about to happen but then he saw something waiver in Castiel's face for a few seconds. He didn't realize that Castiel had that much faith in him even when it was probably too late. Raphael raised his fingers to snap them and that was when Castiel set his fingers on his forehead. Both were a trigger for Dean to snap awake, "Cas!" he yelled out.

Castiel quickly backed away until he felt the other bed against his legs and knew he should have disappeared instead because the quick movement caught Dean's eyes. Dean looked over at Castiel trying to figure out why he was there. "What are you doing here Cas?" he asked him not thinking Castiel would actually come if he called his name.

"How did you know what happened there?" he asked because what Dean had dreamt was true. For some reason in the last few seconds before he died he had temporarily lost faith in the hunter. He really thought they could stop it but after he was alive again he realized that it was his own fault for waiting that long to help Dean.

"I don't it was just a nightmare." he easily admitted but then he glared slightly at Castiel. "How did you know what I dreamt about? Did you look inside my head again?" he asked.

Castiel didn't want to have this conversation again but the last thing he wanted to do was lie. "Yes but it happens when I soothe the nightmare away." he answered and explained to him.

Dean blinked at that trying to figure out what he meant by that. He was angry he saw the dream but confused since he was soothing the nightmare away? There were so many questions in his head right now for Castiel to the point he didn't know where to start! Should he ask about why he was there, how long he's been doing it, or how he even knew he would be having a nightmare? Castiel could feel the anger in Dean and decided he should leave before he messed things up again but sensing the other was about to leave Dean quickly blurted out the first question. "Why are you helping me with my nightmares?" he asked.

There was no way that Castiel could leave now that Dean had spoken up and he was glad it wasn't to yell at him or tell him that he couldn't ever come back. "They are not pleasant for you so when I can I soothe them away." he answered.

The hunter didn't understand why Castiel should care so much for him while he was sleeping. It wasn't like he was used to a low amount of sleep and being stressed so there was no reason for him to worry. He had seen his brother go through nightmares and he's pretty sure Sam has seen him experiencing nightmares as well. Neither of them though would wake the other up since that would usually mean they'd have to talk about the nightmare and he didn't like to do that. "Okay, now tell me how long you've been doing this." he demanded.

"Since we have been fighting the apocalypse." he answered and knew that had been about a good month and a half now. Castiel couldn't help but look away from Dean and at any other place in the room then the hunter.

"How do you know that I'm having a nightmare?" he asked. This is what confused him most of all since he knew that Castiel wasn't with them every minute of the day and he hadn't watched him sleep in a long time. Castiel knew this one would be much more difficult to explain and he looked at Dean's shoulder. Dean's eyes narrowed slightly wondering why he was looking there but remembered the burn mark. "You're saying you have some kind of connection because of this?" he asked not creeped out like he should be and that surprised him. He lifted his sleeve so that Castiel could see the burn mark.

"Yes, that would be the easiest way to put it. When I was piecing you back together and pulling you out, it was my grace doing all the work. It burned a mark into you and at the same time some of it was left with you. There's a small amount of my grace inside of you." he explained setting his hand on the burn mark.

Dean didn't know what had happened or if it was Castiel's doing to prove it. He just suddenly felt a small surge of arousal and he pulled away from Castiel's hand quickly. He had a feeling that Castiel didn't do anything though since the other looked confused as to why he pulled away and even glanced at his hand for a few seconds. _It felt just like in my dream…_ Dean could easily remember that dream that started out as a memory of the time he had sex with Anna but it suddenly turned out it was Castiel the whole time. Every sensation and feeling he had during the dream overwhelmed him. The feeling of tight muscles, calloused hands, stubble, not as exaggerated curves, tightness, heat, arousal, and just the pure feeling of it being right. His breath caught in his throat as time froze and he tried to get his mind in the right place or at least do something so Castiel didn't lean in closer.

The hunter must have been frozen for a lot longer than he expected because Castiel suddenly leaned in close afraid he had done something wrong. His hand reached out to touch Dean to heal him if it was necessary instead it was something that got Dean to move. He let go of his sleeve quickly covering the mark and got out of bed. "I need a shower." he said quickly escaping inside of the bathroom. Instead of taking a shower he leaned up against the door remembering how Bobby, Pam, and Anna touched the mark before Castiel and it did nothing. Then he had the dream where he was sleeping with Castiel and the mark made his arousal quickly heighten, just as it did when he _actually_ touched it. Maybe it was just some weird effect of having some of an angel's grace inside him or Castiel did do something when he touched it. _There'd be no point in that._ Even Dean knew Castiel would have no reason to arouse Dean since he made it painfully clear that they weren't going to do anything more than the kisses they already shared. He couldn't even say that it was the memory of the dream that influenced the way the touch affected him because he didn't remember the dream until after he was touched. "What the hell is going on with me?" he asked himself softly.

* * *

**Okay guys I'm really sorry for the super late update but I went to Toronto Con and it killed me. It was so great and I'm still reminiscing over things that happened. It made it a little difficult to focus and then not having money for anything sucks too… I'm also going to be participating in Gishwhes so I will continue to update as soon as I can just hang in there!**


	9. Too Much Information

Too Much Information

Sam didn't think that the Trickster of all people would show up again in their life since he knew how much the brothers wanted to get him back for the Mystery Spot. Technically Dean was the only one wanting to push that line to get him back but he was fine with letting the Trickster go. He had been to the crime scene and looked around carefully soon finding what he hoped to not find. Candy wrappers, the best indication they could have about the Trickster being the culprit. He sighed and picked up any candy wrapper he could find so he could use that as a clue for Dean. As he drove back to the hotel room he wasn't thinking of ways they could kill the Trickster. Instead he was thinking about how his brother would react to the news of them finally running into the supernatural being again. Sam pulled into the parking spot in front of their room and took out his phone to see if he ever got a text. His phone didn't have any new text messages making him only worry more.

The moment Sam walked into the room he could tell Dean had some news to tell him so he let Dean give him some background on the victim before taking out the candy wrappers. "I have a good idea of what we're facing." he said letting them drop onto the table.

"Candy?" asked Dean and as he picked one up as it slowly clicked in his head. "Just desserts…candy wrappers…" he said slowly as he got up from his chair and turned around to face Sam. "It's the Trickster." Sam only nodded wanting Dean to continue so he knew how much work it would be to convince Dean to go with the plan he had forming in his mind. "I can't wait to gank that fucker for what he did."

"Dean, I don't think we should." he started right away seeing as his brother wasn't going to think rationally and focus on revenge instead.

Dean frowned at that and walked closer to Sam. "Why shouldn't we kill him? Did you forgive him for all the times he killed me or fucked with your head?" he asked.

Sam shook his head but didn't look straight at Dean after he began talking. "He's powerful, we know that and with how little of allies we have maybe he'll join our side?" he suggested.

"You're serious?" asked Dean because Sam wasn't looking at him and he was hoping he was kidding. There was no way someone who they tried to kill, who killed him, and most likely _still_ wanted to get revenge would gladly team up with them. "Sam, I don't think you understand-"

"No I understand perfectly. He has reason to hate us, we have reason to hate him but that shouldn't stop us from trying." he interjected not going to let Dean shut down this idea so quickly just because the last person he wanted to work with them was Ruby and that didn't turn out as well as he thought it would.

"Alright then you can have fun trying to think of how to talk a monster into helping us." he stated going to grab their police scanner so they could listen for any clues for where the Trickster would next be. They would have to move fast and on a moment's notice so things will be boring but worth it once they were able to find out where he was.

* * *

"By the way Sam, your plan is going brilliant so far." snapped Dean as they walked around St. Mercy's Hospital. It took them a bit to realize they were in TV land and officially trapped by the Trickster with no weapons. He couldn't believe they walked into the trap especially when there were no cops or activity from outside the building after they heard the frantic back up call on the scanner.

Sam rolled his eyes not going to let his brother's bitching get to him right now as he tried to think of a way to get the Trickster to come out and talk with them. He was tempted to see if calling him out would work when he suddenly ran into Dean. "Dean, what the hell?" he asked and looked down the hall where Dean's attention was.

"It's him…" he said trying not to show just how excited he was as he watched a doctor walk toward them. "It's Dr. Sexy." Sam raised an eyebrow and glanced at his brother quickly seeing that he was obviously holding back from how he truly wanted to act. It took all of Dean's willpower not to exclaim his happiness when Dr. Sexy stopped in front of them.

"Doctor." he greeted Dean.

Dean made a noise between a laugh and a cough darting his eyes to the wall, Dr. Sexy, and the ground. "Doctor."

"Doctor." he greeted Sam.

Sam nodded seeing no reason he should play along until Dean's elbow met his side and he sighed. "Doctor."

Dr. Sexy nodded and looked over at Dean, his never changing. "Do you mind telling me why you directly disobeyed me and scheduled Mrs. Williams the face transplant?" he asked.

Dean glanced at Sam wondering if he knew how to answer and just barely glanced at the doctor's face before back down at his feet. He opened his mouth ready to answer and looked back at him before he furrowed his eyebrows looking slowly back down to his feet. _Tennis shoes._ He instantly frowned and pushed Dr. Sexy up against the wall completely forgetting about his man crush on the character. "You're not Dr. Sexy." he stated.

Dr. Sexy only gave him an exasperated expression looking off to the side where a security guard was. "Security." he called without much emotion since he was Dr. Sexy. He didn't take crap from anyone and he really didn't care about a doctor who wouldn't listen to him.

"If you were really Dr. Sexy you would be wearing cowboy boots because I swear the reason he wore them was because they added to his sex appeal." stated Dean confidently as he waited to see how the doctor would react this time.

"And you're not a fan?" asked Sam.

"It's a guilty pleasure." frowned Dean and even spared a quick glare at Sam so he would be quiet.

The doctor continued to stare at them for a few seconds before his unimpressed expression turned into a smirk, his facial features morphed into the Trickster's, and his height shortened. "You're getting better~!"

Dean didn't back off or was caught off guard since he knew for sure it wasn't Dr. Sexy. "Let us go." he demanded.

The Trickster raised an eyebrow at that and grabbed Dean's arm tightly forcing it off of him. "Where's your wooden stakes big boy?" he asked pointing out how they had no way to threaten him properly to make him do what they wanted. "You like it? I made everything." he smiled proud of himself but was really showing off to the younger brother.

"What is the point of this?" growled Dean wanting him to just hurry up and talk about it so they could find a way out of here.

Sam quickly stepped in not wanting Dean to continue talking until he ruined their opportunity to ask the Trickster. "We're not here to fight." he assured the supernatural being. "We just want to talk…"

"Let me guess…you idiots broke the world and now you want my help to put it back together?" he asked hating the topic change but then again he didn't warn anybody of what he was going to do since he wanted complete and udder silence as they try to figure out if what they heard was correct.

"Pretty much." he said thinking that the Trickster should have known what happened since what was happening was big and everyone had to know about it. "I have a feeling you wouldn't like the idea of the world being gone."

The Trickster this time smiled at that and shook his head. "You do not know me that well then Winchester, even after all those times we spent together." he stated.

Dean this time had to step in again, "What times are you talking about?" he asked.

"Or the texts we still share." he smirked.

Sam was staying quiet not believing that he was telling his brother this since he wasn't going to tell him or at least until after this since he figured the Trickster would help them. Dean turned to look at Sam with a small glare. "So you've been keeping in touch with him?!" he exclaimed.

"Not as much as he's making it sound." he assured him.

"It sure as hell sounds like it Sam! Why?!" he snapped.

The younger hunter opted out on answering the question and looked at the Trickster who was getting bored quickly. "How do we get out?"

"Play the game." he answered right away and looked between the two knowing that it might not have been the greatest idea to tell Dean about this now but it had to be done at some point. Both brothers were ready to ask a question to get more detail just as he winked before disappearing.

Dean was fed up with everything and was trying to decide on what he wanted to do first. Kill the Trickster, interrogate Sam, or get the hell out of here. "You've gotta be kidding me Sam, why would you easily converse with _another_ monster after the last one you snuck around with made you start this whole thing!"

Sam sighed and shook it off since Dean wouldn't really understand how helpful the Trickster was in his own dick way. "Let's just figure a way out of here."

"Yeah so we can kill the bastard." quickly agreed Dean before they began walking down the hall.

* * *

Sam was still recovering from the hit to his crotch when there was a banging on the door. Dean wasn't ready for anything else this show could throw at them and he really didn't want to get hit in the crotch either. It was the sight of Castiel that made him instantly relax physically, "Cas!" he exclaimed.

That got Sam's attention and he looked back at the angel. Castiel looked incredibly confused at the two and how they were trapped? "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Where have you been?" asked Sam because if he was there just a few minutes before he wouldn't have been hit.

"Looking for you."

"Great, now get us out of here." demanded Dean and Castiel nodded stepping in between them to do just that. His fingers got close to touching them before he disappeared.

"No, no, no, Mr. Trickster doesn't like pretty boy angels." stated the Japanese host. Dean had to take a moment but it wasn't to think about how their only chance out of here was stolen away. His mind was focusing on the pretty boy part because Castiel wasn't pretty. Pretty was a woman, not Castiel who had stubble and calloused hands. That wasn't pretty but that didn't stop the onslaught of images of Castiel in his head though. "Dean Winchester, それはあなたがカツ─ルための感情を持っていることは本当ですか｡ Countdown!"

Dean began to panic then because he didn't understand a single word the guy had said. "I don't…" he started looking at Sam for any kind of advice. Sam only shrugged and Dean began to get desperate. "Hey! I don't speak Japanese!" he yelled and this time he at least got the man's attention. "I don't understand you."

"それはあなたがカツ─ルための感情を持っていることは本当ですか｡" he repeated himself waiting for an answer since the clock was still counting down.

"Dude I don't know what to do!" exclaimed Dean looking at Sam know since he was the only one now he could possibly count on.

Sam tried searching for an answer and ended up shrugging. "I don't know, just…"

"I don't want to get hit in the balls!"

"Wait! I, I played a doctor!"

"So?!" he asked.

"So I played a doctor and we moved on so we need to play the game! Play our roles."

"I don't know how to speak Japanese." he glared.

Sam looked frustrated at Dean, "Try!"

"Dammit." he cursed quickly pressing the button with barely a second left on the clock. The Japanese host looked at the clock and then slowly back to Dean waiting for him to answer. Dean was hesitating with it now that the host was looking at him like that. "答えはイエスだ?" he asked slowly so afraid of it being wrong.

"そうです?"

"…..そうです｡" he assured the game host.

The game host looked down at his card before smiling a little. "Dean Winchester, nut cracker champion!" he yelled out throwing the cards into the air.

Neither of the brothers looked more surprised than the other but Dean's face was slowly beginning to look relieved. "How did you _do _that?" asked Sam.

"I don't know." he said softly as he tried smiling since he did just win and waving back at the crowd. "We have to keep playing our roles?"

Sam began doing the same thing looking slightly more relaxed than his brother though. "Looks like it."

"For how long?"

"For as long as it takes."

Dean licked his lips nervously not really wanting to hear that answer but it was the truth and it didn't help matters the Trickster wasn't going to be in everything they ended up in. Even though he should be more worried about himself his mind went back to Castiel wondering where he was and if he was all right.

* * *

Dean was beginning to lose track of how many commercials and shows they had been in at this point as he watched Sam walk out the hooker. He was beginning to spread thin to the point of yelling out to demand the Trickster show up to get them out of here. "How much longer do we have to do this?" he asked softly and slowly turning to the crowd with a fake smile now.

"I don't know." answered Sam doing the same thing as he slowly moved to his brother's side and apparently they weren't talking low enough since the crowd had laughed. "We could die in here." he stated saying it a little louder to see what the crowd would do and they laughed again.

"That's not even funny!" he snapped. All they did was laugh some more, "Vultures." he glared. The door suddenly opened causing the crowd to make a sad sound since it was Castiel. His nose was broken and he looked frazzled. "Cas, where have you been?"

Castiel didn't know where he ended up exactly but for some reason he was being asked questions, tied up, and every time he didn't answer he was hit. Of course the people hitting him were confused how it took a long time just to get his nose broken. "I don't know but you need to listen Dean. This thing is much more powerful than a Trickster." he explained since he had a feeling he would be sent away again if he didn't tell them his suspicions fast enough.

"Than what else could he be?" asked Sam.

"I don't know!" stressed Castiel but it was too late as he was thrown against the wall and fell to the ground.

Dean tensed and even took a step toward the angel when the door opened again for the Trickster to jump through with a wide smile on his face. "Heyo!" he exclaimed and the crowd applauded and cried out their happiness, the complete opposite for what they showed for Castiel. Castiel stood up with duct tape on his mouth so whatever he did know was important enough for the Trickster to shut him up. He looked at Dean and Sam first to make sure they were okay before looking at the Trickster. "Hey Castiel." smirked the Trickster. Castiel's eyes widened as memories began to flash through his head. It had been awhile since he heard that greeting and what was worse, he thought he was dead. His eyes darted to Dean to try to warn him or something but he was snapped away again.

Dean was more worried about Castiel then Sam which gave Sam the ability to see how Castiel reacted to his name being called. "He _knew_ you." stated Sam his mind trying to work out the few clues they were given in the last few minutes.

"Where did you just send him?" glared Dean as he stepped around his brother to let the Trickster know he was to focus on him. That was fine with Sam since he wanted to figure out what kind of expression that was from Castiel. The angel hardly ever showed emotion other than seriousness, confusion, or adoration. It was like he was looking at someone he hadn't in a while but he wasn't sure.

"He'll be fine…..maybe." he answered with a hint of the small smirk on his face. His goal wasn't to hurt Castiel but just to keep him away while he had his fun with the two brothers.

"Bring him back now." he demanded not going to let the Trickster get away with this.

"Cool it Dean-o, you'll have your boyfriend back as soon as you two get out here." he assured him.

"He's not my boy-"

Sam interrupted Dean though since he had a long enough time to think about it since they did have him here they could get him to answer questions. "We get the game."

The Trickster raised an eyebrow looking at Sam. "What is it then?"

"Playing our roles." stated Dean getting over how Sam interrupted him quickly.

"That's half of it."

"…What?" asked Sam.

"You figured out playing your roles in here but you need to do it out there." motioned the Trickster waving his hands past the brothers. It looked like he had lost the two of them at that and he sighed. "You know! Dean starring as Michael, Sam starring as Lucifer…your celebrity death match!"

Sam furrowed his eyebrows definitely not liking where this was going. He hoped that somehow their friendship they built would help sway the Trickster into becoming their ally. "You want us to say yes to those sons a bitches?"

"Hells yeah!" he exclaimed glad one of them had enough brains. "Let's light this candle!"

"If we do that it the world will end."

"Yeah and…whose fault is that?" he asked sarcastically tired of these two and wished that they would just deal with what they've caused. "Who popped Lucifer out of the box?" The Trickster looked between the two before focusing back on Dean. "You two started it, it can't be stopped, so let's get it over with!"

Dean was getting tired of this and seeing as the Trickster wasn't on his side he might as well find out whose side he was on. "Heaven or hell, which side are you on?"

"I'm not on either side."

"Come on, you're grabbing ankle from Michael to Lucifer so which one is it?" he asked with a small smirk.

The Trickster scoffed a little as he stepped closer to Dean. "Now you listen to me you arrogant dick. I don't work for either of those SOB's." he repeated himself. "Believe me."

"Well you're somebody's bitch."

It wasn't Dean's fault for not knowing everything but it still set him off. He grabbed Dean's shirt and pulled him around to slam him against the door. "Don't ever, _ever _presume to know what I am." he glared his eyes quickly flashing gold but too fast for the human eye to catch. The Trickster continued to stare at him making sure he understood where he was stepping and backed off with still one hand on his shirt as he looked at Sam. "Now you listen up. Here's what's going to happen. You're going to suck it up, accept your responsibilities, and play the roles destiny laid out for you." he stated before looking back at Dean.

"And if we don't?" asked Sam.

The Trickster smiled a little and slowly looked toward Sam as he pushed harder against Dean. "Then you'll stay here in TV land, forever." he answered. The main thing he wanted was to have this whole thing over with. "Three hundred channels and nothings on." he said before snapping his fingers.

* * *

Sam and Dean were leaving warehouse when Castiel stopped Dean from letting Gabriel out. He looked at the hunter wanting him to understand that he needed to talk with Gabriel and couldn't let him snap him away. "I will meet you at the hotel." he stated. Dean nodded and headed out with Sam trailing right behind him.

Castiel turned to look at Gabriel who was doing everything in his power to not look at him. He walked up to the holy fire looking over Gabriel but not seeing the vessel, he saw the archangel in Heaven. The Heaven Gabriel he knew was strong, beautiful, and so caring but the one he saw in front of him now was broken somehow. "You abandoned us because you were tired?" he asked.

Gabriel winced at those words and looked up at Castiel. It was even harder for him to know that Castiel knew he was alive since he didn't want to ever be found out again. "I was tired of Michael and Lucifer fighting that I had to leave. I saw what they were doing with the angels turning them into mindless robots. We always followed God's orders but still had time for ourselves. Michael and Lucifer were demanding you to take sides and to kill each other. It was too much so I ran…even if that meant leaving you behind." he said softly.

Castiel's face hardened into the soldier expression he had perfected when he listened to orders over the past few centuries and had the energy of his grace in the stare. Gabriel felt like it was burning him and he had to look away. He always knew Castiel had the worst stare to receive and he could still feel it on him. "You are weak brother, so much weaker than I had ever thought you to be." he said solemnly before using his hand to let the holy fire down. He was the one to disappear first and appeared in the closest tree to the hotel Dean and Sam were staying so he knew when they got back. It was a habit he had that when he felt really lost he needed to be somewhere high.

Gabriel was left behind continuing to stand in the spot even though he could leave if he wanted too. "I'm sorry Cassy, I didn't want to leave you behind." he said to the air before disappearing himself.

* * *

Dean couldn't get his brother to speak to him the whole drive back to the hotel and his plan on trying was ruined when he noticed Castiel in the tree across from the hotel. He furrowed his eyebrows and walked over to the angel to find out what was wrong. Sam used the key he had to get into the motel and lie on his bed. He looked up at the ceiling trying to get his thoughts straight. Gabriel knew who they were from the beginning and it was tearing him up on the inside that he tried trusting another supernatural being that already had plans for him again. It was Ruby all over again to him since it was obvious Gabriel just wanted them to get close so he could get him to agree to do the apocalypse. The archangel didn't care about losing a friend and if Sam did let things go where he hoped, he had a feeling he wouldn't care even then. Sam had come to the conclusion that maybe Jessica was the only person he could have _possibly_ gone anywhere with and she knew nothing about his hunting life. Things would probably be better if he just didn't try for relationships outside of family since his life was getting more fucked up each passing day.

"Cas, what are you doing up there?" he asked finding it odd he was even in a tree. He was an angel and it just seemed odd he would suddenly want to climb a tree.

"I'm thinking about Gabriel." he answered glancing down at Dean.

Dean frowned at that and crossed his arms. "Fuck him he obviously doesn't care about what happens to any of us."

"He used too…" he said softly but so Dean wouldn't hear him. Castiel was trying to come to terms that Gabriel had long ago stopped caring about him. "Just give me a few minutes Dean."

"You can think in the motel room, come on."

"I need to think alone." repeated Castiel and even turned away from the hunter tempted to fly away from him. His wings were around him unknowingly to Dean though since his senses were too dull to see them. "Please Dean."

"Fine but just don't stay out here all night, you'll look weird." he stated before turning to go back to the motel room. When he saw his brother already in bed he had a feeling it would be a very quiet night. He didn't know what was wrong with the two of them but he wasn't about to pry either. They needed to continue searching out ways to kill the devil.

* * *

**Okay I have no excuses or anything that can even come close to how sorry I am at how long this took. This was going to be about 1,200 words longer than it was but I cut it out and had to rethink the whole thing. So I'm sorry but I had to get this one right since it's setting up things that will hopefully be resolved and relationships strengthened so, sorry and if you want to blame anything, blame Gishwhes, I'm partaking in it this year XD**

**Translations-**

それはあなたがカツ─ルための感情を持っていることは本当ですか｡: **Dean Winchester, is it true you have feelings for Castiel? Countdown!**

それはあなたがカツ─ルための感情を持っていることは本当ですか｡**: Is it true you have feelings for Castiel?**

答えはイエスだ?**: The answer is yes?**

そうです?**: Yes?**

そうです?**: Yes.**


	10. Everyone Has Choices

Everyone Has Choices

Crowley wasn't stupid and he knew when he wanted to be found. He had connections everywhere and in all planes of existence. Nobody understood though exactly how well connected, smart, and prepared he was which is why they were always caught off guard when he started showing his hand. The Winchesters were getting cocky and actually thought that if they sent their angel pet to follow him that he would easily lead Castiel to his place without him knowing. It was funny how people were so easily manipulated when he pretended that he had no idea he was being followed.

This was going to be one of the bigger decisions in his life because there was only one other decision made that was bigger than this and that's the one that landed him here in the first place. It kept him safe, got rid of old alias' and no paper trail to follow. Crowley knew that if he didn't step in now then things might not go as planned. He had his own agenda and as much as he hated the idea of increasing his chances of being found out, he had to do it. This was the only way he would assure his top goal. He poured a new glass of Craig as he watched a video from World War II and when his power went out he only smiled. _About time boys._

* * *

Gabriel knew they were currently getting ready to go after the devil and try killing him with the colt and he wanted to make sure he got to talk to Castiel before he left with the Winchester's so he snapped himself to the motel room. Castiel was still in there and he turned to look at Gabriel surprised that he had found them. "Don't worry the sigils on their ribs are still working. I've just made sure to keep close by."

Castiel still wasn't that impressed and felt his grace twitch to materialize his angel blade but knew better. He couldn't fight Gabriel and knew the other would win the battle. "The Winchesters won't say yes Gabriel." he glared at him hoping that the archangel wasn't here so he could set a trap or anything to get the boys to give into their destiny.

"I'm not here for that. I just want to talk with you Castiel. I didn't regret leaving Heaven over all these years, I regretted leaving you behind." he started waiting to see if it would provoke any other kind of reaction other than glaring. It didn't but at least he gave it a try. "It's true Castiel, I've missed you above all the other angels. You were my favorite fledgling because you were always curious and open to having fun. I hated to see you turn into a soldier but recently…" he paused glancing over at the Winchester's duffel bags. "You've been coming back. You're curious again and coming out of that soldier Raphael and Michael forced you to be."

"It is because of Dean and Sam." he nodded because it was taking care of Dean, saving Dean, and being around them that was helping him realize what Heaven was doing was wrong. "It doesn't change if you missed me Gabriel, you still left."

Gabriel nodded not going to deny it even if it seemed like he was trying. "I still love you Cassy and I'm here to help them, help you."

Castiel tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. "Why would you suddenly change your mind?" he asked.

"It's not sudden it's been a few weeks since we've talked."

"It's still sudden and I do not wish the brothers to be harmed by our family anymore."

"I know that Castiel but please listen to me and trust me again." pleaded Gabriel hating to see how much the angel had come to hate him. Gabriel knew that he had all reason too but that didn't stop the pain it caused him. He had learned about emotions over his years being here which is why he was more in tune with how this situation was affecting the both of them. Castiel crossed his arms not sure if he should trust him again but he could still feel that urge to stay close to Gabriel and hug him tightly. Gabriel was really the one who helped him grow up from a fledgling. He took it as a good sign that he hadn't left yet or tried banishing him and took a deep breath. "This will be hard to believe but I want to help you. I don't want to keep leaving you and abandoning you like I have before. I also have…a thing for Sam and we were developing it before I did the wrong thing. I really thought that taking the easy way out and letting the world go to hell would be the best way but maybe there is a chance to beat our brother in another way." he explained his thoughts and two of the main reasons he was really here. Here for Castiel, needing to be here for him since he had abandoned him all these years already and for Sam who was having the worst end of the deal.

Castiel shifted slightly and finally took his gaze off of him looking to the side. His arms slowly unfolded and he wasn't sure of what to believe. He truly wanted his brother to help them and he was missing his family. He couldn't go to Heaven anymore since he was considered a traitor and just knowing Gabriel was alive helped him out immensely over the past few months. "I want to believe you Gabriel but how will I know you're telling the truth? I can't read your thoughts and sense a lie…you're higher ranked."

Gabriel knew he would want to make sure that he covered his basics especially because of how attached he had become of Dean and Sam, specifically Dean. "I'm not sure of how I can get you to trust me right now but I need it. I _need_ your trust again Castiel. You were my favorite fledgling which is why I never complained about them continuing to add on years to watch you as you grew. Just trust me now and I promise that if this plan of the colt goes wrong, I _will_ find another way to stop this without having the apocalypse happen." he said putting his hand out for Castiel to take.

Castiel's eyes finally went back to Gabriel's face and they weren't trying to set him ablaze. They were sad, slightly relieved, and a little happy because he really thought that deep down Gabriel couldn't have died and here he was. He was happy even if he looked mad the whole time since it was more reassuring that the archangel that had watched over him was as much of a traitor as he was. He was even willing to be back on the radar to help him and his charge. "I will." he agreed taking his hand for a few seconds before pulling away.

Gabriel would have none of that though as he quickly wrapped his arms around the angel before he could get too far. "Thank you Castiel." he said feeling Castiel tense but instantly relax. Their wings weren't taken out but the wisps of what the humans usually heard when they arrived and left brushed against each other relaxing Castiel even further.

"Do not make me regret this Gabriel."

"Aw come on! I'm on your side now Mr. Serious Face." he smirked and walked around to look at him. "Keep me updated and call me at _any_ time you need help, you don't have to go this alone anymore." he reassured Castiel placing his hand on his shoulder smiling.

Castiel wished he would have stayed as soon as Gabriel left again and looked up toward the sky. "Please Father, if you are still listening to me, let this plan work." he prayed even though none of his prayers had ever been answered by God.

* * *

"He just gave you the colt?" asked Castiel with a small tilt of his head. He was completely ignoring the obvious stares and questions hidden behind the Winchester's eyes since Gabriel had decided to show up when they returned. The archangel was currently eating candy and watching Dr. Sexy but he was paying attention to the conversation.

"Yeah he did." answered Dean as he continued to glare at the back of Gabriel's head.

"Apparently he wants the devil dead just as badly as we do. He wants to stay in 'sales' and that will be impossible if the apocalypse happens." further explained Sam still trying to figure it out himself. There was no absolute way to guarantee this would even work which is why it surprised him the most since Crowley could easily be hunted down if it goes wrong.

Castiel furrowed his eyebrows as if he was trying to think of why a demon would stick his neck out so much for them as well when Dean walked past him. He watched Dean and he realized where he was heading. "Dean…" he started.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked standing directly in Gabriel's way of the television. Dean needed answers now as to why they were suddenly housing an archangel that wanted them dead.

Gabriel smirked up at him and wiggled his eyebrows. "Eating gummi worms." he stated taking a few more out of the bag to eat them.

Dean's eye twitched and grabbed the remote to turn off the television. "Last I knew you wanted us dead and we don't house enemies."

"I'm not the enemy anymore." he sighed rolling his eyes and snapped his fingers so the television was back on even if he couldn't see through the human wall currently in his way.

Before Dean could try to punch him Castiel spoke up. "Dean, he wants to help us. I believe that your pep talk to him when he was trapped got to him and he is now our ally."

Sam was a little anxious about this revelation only because he had fallen for Gabriel's lies once before and he wasn't about to let that happen again. "How do you know for sure?"

"Yeah Cas because last I knew he was trying to get the apocalypse going." reminded Dean crossing his arms. Gabriel was staying quiet since he figured not speaking would be one of the better options while the three of them talked it over.

Castiel stared at Dean daring him to not trust him until even Dean had to look away. Dean was good at facing the stare but he wasn't that good when Castiel was making a point and showing the raw strength he had in just words. He then turned around to face Sam. "I don't know for sure but he is my brother and I will put trust into him again."

That is when it hit home to the Winchester's because even if Castiel's family was very fucked up right now here was the first angel who was on their side. He was the first family member to really talk to Castiel without the intent to kill. Sure he threatened Castiel but in reality he could have done a lot worse than a broken nose or bruises that easily healed once he was out of television land. Dean was the first to give up and walked into the bathroom. Sam looked at the back of Gabriel's head surprised that he wasn't saying anything snarky or witty about how easily Dean had given up. "If you trust him then we will too Castiel." he stated.

Castiel really did try not to look too relieved when the brothers agreed to trust Gabriel since he was happy there was someone in his family who didn't consider him a traitor. He was still hard on the outside but to have Gabriel by his side again made him feel more relaxed then he has in centuries. "Thank you Sam." he said before going after Dean to make sure he was truly alright with the situation.

Gabriel got up from the couch leaving the bag of gummi worms on the coffee table since he wanted to check out this demon Crowley. He needed to make sure he didn't have something else planned that would harm Castiel or the boys. He wasn't planning on going on any suicide missions just yet but he would help with information and fact checking. What he didn't expect was Sam to be still looking over at him and startled a little. "Do you see something you like?" he winked.

Sam averted his eyes right away shaking his head. "Nothing like that Gabriel." he quickly assured him not wanting to stay on that subject. "I just can't bring myself to put full trust in you."

"Neither can Castiel, trust me. I'm not out of the woods even with him yet." he explained and moved around the couch so he could lean on the back of it.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you helping us when you are tired of the fighting?" he asked needing to hear the reasons himself.

Gabriel grumbled in a language Sam didn't understand and he quickly filed under the assumption it was Enochian. "Do you want me to be completely honest and bare my non-existent heart out to you?" he asked with a bit of bitterness. He really had no reason to be so upset about Sam not trusting him since he screwed it up himself yet he couldn't help it. He liked Sam and to see that what trust he had built up before was already gone annoyed him.

Sam gave him a bitch face hating to see Gabriel act just like his brother. There was probably a code for older brothers that they had to follow and one of them must have been making the younger sibling's life hell when they were concerned. "Don't act like Dean, I get it enough of it from him."

"Look I just want to help the one family I regretted most when I left Heaven. I helped Castiel learn everything since he was fledgling to a full grown angel. That is a long time to be with someone and then I went and abandoned him. I want to try to get that connection we had before." he quickly answered just so Sam could get off his back but was holding back the Sam part of the reason he was here. That would be way too awkward and he hadn't had the time to talk in private like he wanted with Sam. "Good enough? Can I go now?"

"Where are you going?"

"Don't be a mother hen I can take care of myself and unlike you two, I'm sure I can get more dirt on this Crowley character." he answered before disappearing.

* * *

Crowley had found himself a very secluded location where no demon should be able to find him. He didn't think an archangel would be looking for him and was glad he had put up angel proofing on his temporary house. He knew who was outside his house and that he wouldn't be attacked. "Hello~." called Gabriel at the front door and knocked on it. "Candy gram!"

Crowley rolled his eyes and downed the rest of the Craig in the glass before getting up and fixing his suit. He answered the door with a small smile on his face. "This would have to be the mystery flavored right?" he asked.

Gabriel wasn't the least bit thrown off and smiled right back. "Mystery flavors are always the best because you get to have fun guessing."

"Oh darling, don't underestimate me because I only need one guess with you Gabriel, the archangel, who is supposed to be dead." he stated his smile turning into a smirk while the other's smile faltered.

"You're right, I shouldn't underestimate you." he said trying to figure out who this demon was exactly. He had heard enough from whispers, rumors, and Castiel getting him up to speed but even with a demon lover as strong as Lilith shouldn't give him the ability to sniff out archangels.

"Don't go mind reader on me either, won't work. Your wing mate Castiel tried to probe around a few times while I was making the deal with the piggy banker a few days ago. Do you want a drink?"

Gabriel was indeed trying to poke around his mind but it was a weird haze to him, one he hadn't come across before and he shook his head. "I'm fine."

Crowley shrugged it off as he walked inside the house to pour himself another glass of Craig before coming back. "What is it you're here for?"

"I just wanted to make sure that you had no intentions of harming the Winchester's or Castiel." he answered seeing that there was no point to be formal or considerate anymore. Crowley was setting off many different weird vibes with him and try as he might he still couldn't pinpoint exactly which one he should follow up with. He would need to investigate a lot more on Crowley when he ran out of leads on devil killing.

"I'm pretty sure Sam and Dean have already told you and I don't like repeating myself."

"Hearing it from you will set me more at ease."

"Because you're a big bad archangel who could strike me down at any moment?" he asked doing a lot more homework which meant whoever was his informants had very close eyes on the Winchester's at all times.

"Just tell me."

Crowley sighed and set his Craig down on the table in the hallway. "Alright now listen. I hate wasting my breath on things that don't need to be said twice. I want the devil dead so I can continue being in sales, that's it."

Gabriel was trying to use his ability without using too much grace since he wanted to stay as the ace up their sleeve not being able to read him completely but for what he could he was telling the truth. He was putting the blame on the Enochian sigils that he couldn't read him as well since he was not stepping outside the house and he couldn't get in. "Don't try anything." he warned before disappearing.

"You were never scary and it hasn't changed much." smirked Crowley before he closed the door to relax the rest of his vacation from being hunted.

* * *

Sam was on his laptop staying up much later than Bobby or Dean since he was trying to find them another hunt. A good distraction is exactly what they needed after losing Ellen and Jo. It was still hard to believe that they were really gone and on top of that, the colt didn't kill the devil or they would be celebrating. He sighed after his eyes could no longer focus and he rubbed them leaning back in his chair. He really needed a distraction right about now and as his luck would have it, one appeared.

"Samsquatch, you'll ruin your eye sight by staring at this screen for so long." stated Gabriel as he pushed the laptop closed so Sam knew he was done for the night.

"Shut up Gabriel." he said and refused to open his eyes. Sam wasn't in the mood for Gabriel's antics.

"Well geez, after claiming to be on the same side you still don't treat me very well." he pouted leaning against the small table.

Sam sighed opening his eyes and looking at Gabriel. "So far you haven't done much to avoid the apocalypse." he pointed out.

Gabriel's pout only deepened at the statement and glanced at the laptop. "I have been looking but you really think there's much I can tell you that you don't already know?" Sadly Sam couldn't argue that point since they were trying to do the near impossible by killing the devil without the help of Michael and the power of Heaven. "Listen before I panicked and thought the apocalypse was the only way out, I was serious about you Sam."

"It's hard to believe that when you felt so strongly about watching me die just so your family would stop fighting." he frowned not able to glare anymore at him because whether he would like to admit it or not it was nice to hear that from him.

"I know it is but I liked the friendship we had and I left out earlier when I told you the reasons I was here that one of them was to be buddies with you again. Text each other, bitch about your brother, and you sneaking out just to come see little old me." he smirked.

Sam had to force back his smile at that and shook his head. "You have a bigger head than I thought."

"Oh you have no idea." he said wiggling his eyebrows.

Sam couldn't stop his eyes from darting to Gabriel's crotch but they were back up at his face just as quickly. "You know what I mean." He stood up and stretched a little trying to do anything so he didn't look embarrassed just in case Gabriel had caught his quick look.

Gabriel did see his eyes dart down and his smirk only grew wider. He was thinking things were going well until Sam suddenly stood up. He decided then to ask the pressing question now before Sam could run away completely and ignore him until he had gotten his rest. "Do you want to be friends with me again?"

Sam had to take the time to think about it because the truth was, he did want to be friends with him, he still kind of wanted to hate him, and deep down he also wanted to be more than friends. That feeling never went away even after Gabriel declared he was up for the apocalypse. He took a deep breath knowing that he had to answer because he wasn't that mean and it wasn't that big of a question. "Sure, but not tonight." he said since he did have to get rest and ignored how much lighter he felt after answering the question as he went upstairs to bed.

* * *

**So I had a little fun with this chapter and am amazed I got it up in a week! I think it's a week…well whatever. Since after Gishwhes is done and the semester is starting to get easier to handle I should be able to do weekly updates again. Hopefully you're still enjoying the story and be ready for a time jump (which in this case will be episode jump).**


	11. Desires

Desires

After finding out that the colt wouldn't be able to kill the devil things settled back into the usual routine for the brothers. Gabriel was seen in and out so far having nothing new to try but when he did come around he was hanging out around Sam. Sam didn't mind either since he was beginning to see that Gabriel was really on their side. Dean still needed to be won over but most of the progress he had toward Gabriel was thanks to Castiel. He couldn't help but notice that when Gabriel was visiting them quickly Castiel was there as well. Castiel was stood near Gabriel and listened to his every word including the bad news portion of it. He could understand Castiel's need to be near him and talk with Gabriel since he knew how hard it was to lose a brother. Granted he didn't deal with the loss of his brother as long as Castiel did with Gabriel but he still knew the pain.

The relationship between Dean and Castiel had quickly healed and there wasn't any more discussion about the kisses that they had shared. Dean ignored it every time it was brought up and Castiel soon learned that if he wanted to keep talking with the hunter he would just have to forget it ever happened. It was hard for him since he could tell that Dean wanted it just as badly or he wouldn't have returned it like he did. He just wished he knew how to approach the topic because he would like to kiss him again and he couldn't help himself from looking into Dean's mind finding that he wanted to as well…

Dean wasn't in the mood for Valentine's this year and wished that the holiday would be skipped somehow. He didn't know why since usually he would be more than ready to find a woman or even a few to spend the night with. He would like to investigate where the urge to be abuse this holiday went but they had a pretty odd case on their hands. Sam found out that the victim's hearts had what appeared to be an Enochian sigil on them and that was the only clue they had right now. He took out his phone and called Castiel's. "Hey Cas, we have some angelic clues here, we need your help."

"Where are you?"

"Saint Mary's hospital Morgue in Burningham, New Jersey." he answered and was looking off to the side as he walked around the table or he would have stopped a lot sooner than he did. Castiel had appeared right in front of him with them barely over a foot apart from each other.

"I'm there."

"I get that." nodded Dean as they both continued to hold their phones and stare at each other. Sam literally felt like a third wheel with just the two of them staring. He just wanted Dean to get over whatever obstacle was keeping him from having Castiel so he wouldn't be stuck where he was now waiting for their eye fuck to get down.

"I'm going to get off the phone now." said Castiel a little uncomfortable and not sure of what to say. Dean only nodded and their staring match continued for a few more seconds before Castiel finally moved to shut his phone and pocket it. That broke the trance Dean found himself in and did the same with his own phone. "I understand you need my help."

Sam nodded and motioned the angel over to the table as he pushed the container with the heart inside of it. "It looks like an Enochian sigil and we were hoping you could tell us what it meant."

Castiel didn't need gloves as he picked up the heart and turned it over in his hand. When he saw the mark he instantly knew what was going on. "It's a mark of union. This person was marked by a cupid to be a soul mate for another human."

"Well the two of them ate each other alive." pointed out Dean.

"That is very strange but there is no way a cupid could cause that unless the arrows were poisoned." he explained.

"So it looks like we're hunting a baby in a diaper then." he smiled definitely glad they got an interesting hunt like this one.

Castiel shook his head looking over at Dean. "Your bible got that one wrong Dean and tends to get more wrong than right."

"Where do we go hunting for a cupid then?" asked Sam.

* * *

"Seriously…a bar?" asked Dean looking around expecting anything at this point to come out of nowhere and touch two people. He didn't understand why a cupid would be hunting in a bar since not a lot of people meet at bars and actually stick around.

Castiel nodded finding nothing wrong with the environment. "It is the perfect place."

Sam decided to take a more logical approach to why they were here. "How do we know he is here?"

"I will be able to sense him." he assured Sam.

The waitress who took their order came back with two plates of food setting them down in front of Sam and Dean. Dean grabbed the ketchup and put a rather gracious amount onto the burger before moving to take a bite out of the burger. He stopped though when it was close to his mouth and he set back on the table. "Dean?" asked Sam never seeing his brother turn down a chance to eat a greasy hamburger. "Are you feeling sick?" Sam could understand if he didn't want to participate in the usual festivities for Valentine's day when he was focused on Castiel but turning down food?

"Yeah I'm fine, just not that hungry."

"You're not going to eat it?" asked Castiel too distracted since he was watching Dean the whole time with his hamburger or he would have sensed Cupid's magic working on that particular hamburger after Dean picked it up.

"Go ahead."

Castiel picked up the burger and Cupid was glad another job was completed. Cupids have had tough jobs before but this job concerning his own brother was the hardest one anyone has ever dealt with and there have been several other times where a cupid has done something. Nothing seemed to be working so far which is why the continued to get orders and would until it finally worked. Cupid flew over to another couple he was ordered to take care of and that small movement caught Castiel's attention. "He's here." He then turned to have a small wind pick up out of nowhere and make a napkin fly and hit the couple who were close to each other. Sam and Dean were looking around for someone new in the bar and Dean was the one who caught the napkin.

"Was that seriously him?"

"Meet me in the back." he stated instead of answering the question and the burger suddenly dropped to the plate as Castiel disappeared. Sam didn't care too much about his food at that point and followed quickly after Dean to the back of the bar. They about passed the room Castiel was in and weren't sure what was going on. Castiel had his hand out holding onto the cupid. "Manifest yourself." he demanded and after a few seconds he dropped his hand looking around.

"Did it work?" asked Dean but before Castiel could answer somebody hugged him from behind.

"Here I am!" smiled what they assumed was Cupid who hugged Dean tightly enough to lift him off the ground and keep him from freeing his arms. Dean looked helpless as he was too shocked to even say anything until he was let go. He watched dumbfounded along with Sam as the Cupid walked over to Castiel. "Brother! It is so good to see you!" he exclaimed before hugging Castiel and lifting him off the ground slightly.

Castiel had absolutely no reaction and didn't even bother trying to return the hug. "What..ar-are we in a fight? Should we be fighting?!" frantically asked Dean having no idea of what he should be doing and looked between Sam and Castiel for an answer.

Cupid turned around and spotted Sam. "Look at you! You get one too." he smiled and Sam really didn't care for a hug from him turning around to try avoiding it. He only ran into the Cupid who hugged him just as tightly as the other two.

"It is normal Dean. This is their handshake." he assured the eldest so that he wouldn't begin fighting since they needed to find out what was going on.

"Well I don't like it."

"No one does."

Cupid soon pulled away from Sam and walked over to a spot so he could look at the three. "Now why did you manifest me brother?" he asked hoping that he didn't sense the magic he had done earlier.

"The people you are marking, they are killing each other." began Castiel but Dean quickly interrupted him.

"So we need you to stop poisoning your arrows."

"What?"

"Don't pretend to not know. Your love birds are murdering each other." he stressed.

Cupid shook his head looking completely lost. "No, no, no, that shouldn't happen."

"You're obviously doing something!"

Cupid began to look heartbroken and turned away from the three as he began to cry. He didn't want to cry but he couldn't believe he was failing at his job. He loved love and hated to see it being destroyed. "I'm not doing it on purpose! Whatever they do after I hit them with the arrow is their business!"

Sam frowned slightly but knew they shouldn't just leave him crying like that. "Someone has to go cheer him up."

Dean quickly volunteered Castiel patting his shoulder. "Go get 'em buddy."

Castiel's eyes widened slightly because he wasn't that good at giving advice or being able to tell emotion. He really didn't want to be the one to console since he wasn't sure if he would say the right words but the brothers continued to look at him and Cupid's crying got louder. He resigned himself turning around and going up behind the Cupid. Castiel reached out like he wanted to pat his back and hesitated trying to think of words to say. "It's…okay." he said nearly sounding like a question. He barely got one pat on the Cupid's back before the cherub turned around pulling him into another hug.

"I love, love Castiel and if loving love and doing my job is wrong I don't want to be right." he sobbed into his shoulder.

"You're okay." he said slowly and even brought his arms to rest on his back while one patted him lightly.

Cupid soon calmed down and pulled away, "I'm sorry. I really don't know what's happening but I was so enthusiastic to get this assignment because one of our biggest ones we've worked on since the Mary and John Winchester match was here."

* * *

"You guys found famine?" asked Gabriel as right after he appeared into the room. Castiel had been cluing him in the whole time and he was glad for that. He had run across a lead and it involved the four horsemen so if they were able to find a way to talk to Famine, they might have another way to ice the devil.

"Yes." nodded Castiel through a mouth full of burger. Gabriel raised an eyebrow but didn't really question it right now and looked over at Dean. Dean looked like he was handling Famine's power very well since he wasn't out having sex or drinking himself to death. "What are you guys planning on doing with him?"

"Kill him of course."

Gabriel frowned instantly at that shaking his head. "You can't kill him I have a lead about how to get rid of Lucifer and it deals with the four horsemen."

"Then we'll find another horsemen who isn't killing off a whole town as we speak." he stated crossing his arms. Castiel was too content right now to eat the last few burgers in the bag he had gotten to argue or input his own advice about the situation.

Sam was in the bathroom splashing cold water and more cold water on his face. He just wanted, needed to calm down and get his mind focused on something else, anything! He grabbed the towel and wiped at his face to dry it off as he stared in the mirror. His breath was a little heavy and he closed his eyes trying to count. _Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one…_ That didn't help at all as he felt his mouth go dry as if he was speaking the numbers instead increasing his need to drink demon blood.

"Sam?" asked Gabriel placing a hand on his shoulder and startling the hunter. Gabriel never really thought he could catch the hunter off guard like that when they were on a hunt or he might have just not heard the argument getting done with in the other room. Dean was dead set on killing Famine and he had to leave when the hunter began bitching about how much hamburgers Castiel was eating. It didn't help that once Castiel finished the bag he was longingly staring at the bottom of it like more should magically appear. _Dean-o must be jealous that a different meat is getting Cassy's attention._

"I can't help." he stated looking at Gabriel in the mirror before looking at him directly. "I can't."

Gabriel furrowed his eyebrows concerned and glad that they were building up their friendship again. "Why not?"

"I need it…I need blood." he said hating himself how he just couldn't control it but at least it made things a little easier to know it wasn't just his lack of control. Famine was hacking into his old addiction and forcing it out of him. "I need to be tied up until you guys take care of him, I don't want to drink it again."

Gabriel really hated how Sam could look so down, pitiful and lost so quickly. He was a natural too and that didn't help one bit. He wanted to go with Castiel and Dean so he could hopefully get in a few words with Famine before he died but if Sam was in this much trouble, he thought his place was here. "Alright, just stay in here and I'll get the other two to help."

After Gabriel told Dean about what was going on with Sam his brother tried to get Castiel to send him far away from the city. That was when he only found out that he couldn't do that since Famine was already affecting him and would just follow wherever he went infecting more people. Sam knew it wasn't a great idea but it would have to be done. "Dean, just lock me up, in the bathroom and make sure you cut the bastard's ring off before I get loose."

It didn't take too long for Dean to handcuff Sam around the pipe of the sink in the bathroom. "You'll be okay?"

"Just go get the ring." he said tired of feeling the urge to drink demon blood because he didn't like it before and now he really detested it.

Dean nodded and got up to leave the room so that Castiel could push the wardrobe in front of the door. "Come on Cas and Gabriel, we have to stop Famine tonight."

Castiel nodded moving to follow Dean but Gabriel hung back. Dean noticed when he only heard one other set of footsteps and looked back with a raised eyebrow. "I think I'll stick around and keep Sam company. I'll also make sure no one tries anything while he's immobile." he explained. "Just be careful you two." The two continued leaving the room and Gabriel didn't move until he heard the Impala start and pull out. He then snapped himself inside of the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the tub. "Well, looks like you'll have me to talk too." he smirked.

Sam had rested his head on the wall startling a little when Gabriel appeared. He relaxed right away closing his eyes. "I don't really want to talk Gabriel, sorry." he said softly just trying so hard to quell his demon blood addiction but he really had no idea of how to do that.

Gabriel couldn't blame him but he still didn't need to be quiet as he pursed his lips trying to think of something he could bring up. "What can help distract you?"

"Gabriel, I really don't know what can help. The last time I drank the blood I had to be locked up to detox."

"So? That's not what I was asking. I was asking if there would be a way to distract you." he smirked as he moved close to Sam and kneeled down next to him.

Sam opened his eyes and looked over at him furrowing his eyebrows. He wasn't even sure of where to begin to find some way to distract himself even though it would be nice if there was a way. "If you have any good ideas I'm up for suggestions." he stated feeling his mouth go dry again and moved his arms to get a glass of water but they didn't go very far.

Gabriel's smirk only grew and he knew that he would most likely be stepping over his boundaries yet he couldn't help it. Sam was too cute and on top of that it was always a good distraction. He leaned forward just as Sam looked at him about to ask for suggestions when he was quieted by their lips connecting. Now he was ready for Sam to find some way to push him back or pull away since he wasn't sure if he was reading the atmosphere right. They did flirt a lot, well technically him but whenever he did flirt, Sam always did it right back so that was the tiny bit of hope he was going for. _I might as well just pull back now just in case._

Sam was hesitant since his brain had stopped working. It was a nice quiet after feeling his brain pulse from his heart rate going up and thoughts circling around blood, blood, and more blood. He relished in the quiet for a few seconds before he realized he should react and his reaction was to kiss the archangel back. He did flirt with Gabriel over texts and times when he would come visit him at the library because he enjoyed his company. Once you got past the candy addiction, things he had done in the past, and the ego that could sometimes show up he was just like the Janitor he met years back. He did crush on him then and as time continued to meeting him a second time, he ended up falling for him. He was the one who pulled away from the kiss with a small smile. "That did help a little."

Gabriel couldn't help looking surprised when he felt the other return the kiss but his smirk was right back when he said those words. "Well then how about we continue distracting you?"

* * *

"Dean, why is Famine not affecting you?" asked Castiel as he appeared back into the Impala with another bag of hamburgers. He had been doing that a lot, every time he ran out he went to go get more.

Dean shrugged a little at that learning not to talk about the amount of burgers he was eating since he found out he had lost count. "I don't know…when I want a drink, I go get it, when I want sex, I go get it." he explained.

"So you're adjusted?"

"God no, well fed." he smirked a little but it was unsettling how he wasn't reacting like everyone else. Dean wasn't even sure of what he would be addicted too if it would start affecting him.

Castiel nodded as he continued to eat the hamburgers and saw a demon walk out of the hospital. "That's him."

* * *

As much as Gabriel was enjoying the heated kisses he was sharing with Sam a presence in the room made him pull away. "We have company kiddo." he said and tried not to take too much pleasure out of seeing Sam's face red and slightly breathless. Sam heard people in the room as well and watched as Gabriel stood up. "I don't think it's our brothers." he said narrowing his eyes and summoned his angel blade. He was more than ready to attack the moment whoever it was got through the door. The only thing he wasn't ready for was to be hit by a glass bottle that was on fire. He screamed out in pain before he disappeared along with the fire.

Sam didn't know what had happened but it was obviously painful for the archangel. He glared at the two people who walked through the door and he instantly knew what they were. "No." he said already feeling the addiction quickly rise in his body. "What are you doing?" he asked ready to attack, not drink, not drink.

"We're here to free you." she answered bending down and easily getting the cuffs off.

Sam lost himself after that point because he was attacking the demons to keep them from harming him and hoped that Gabriel was okay. He was getting revenge for whatever they did to Gabriel but after he had pinned the woman underneath him his eyes focused on the main vein in her neck.

* * *

"You know the drill right?" he asked Castiel handing him the demon knife. Dean really didn't look like he was really focusing on what he was saying and he even seemed to come out of the back of his mind.

"Yes, I take the knife, go inside, and cut the ring off Famine's finger." he nodded and Dean was glad he was listening but didn't expect the angel to disappear right then. Castiel appeared inside where he felt Famine would be yet he wasn't there. The angel frowned and looked around at the empty diner where a few bodies were still sitting in the benches. He moved to walk to the back before Famine came out in his wheelchair.

"Hello Castiel." he smiled a little and motioned for the demon who had a tray full of raw hamburger forward. "Here is a present for you."

Castiel would normally ignore it but it was the red meat his vessel's body enjoyed more than anything. He blinked a little as he watched the demon set it on the ground and tried to ignore the desire to eat all of the meat. He succumbed after at least taking a step toward Famine before bending down to eat the meat.

Dean was outside and barely waited seven seconds before he felt this sudden urge to go inside. He almost wondered if the thing he was supposed to be addicted too could be inside but there wasn't much in there anymore from the way it looked on the outside. The only thing he knew for sure that was inside was demons, Famine, and Castiel. Demons he was never too fond of so there was no way that was the cause of this need to go inside and Famine himself would be a strange thing to desire. Castiel was the only option left and it was bothering him. He thought he had gotten rid of all feelings he could possibly have for the angel but the more he thought about Castiel the more he would rather like it if he was in the seat next to him. _You've gotta be fucking kidding me._ Dean tried to see what would happen if he started the Impala to leave just as experiment and instead of grabbing the keys, he grabbed his pistol and began heading inside. Once he caught up with his body he decided to quickly tell himself a lie. "It's taking too long."

* * *

Gabriel finally got back to the room after too long and was pissed. His six wings that couldn't be seen were ruffled and puffed showing his anger as he looked around the motel room. It was destroyed and he saw the two demons bodies, dead and drained. "Great…" he sighed quickly disappearing to find out where Sam had gone having a pretty good idea he would be where Famine was.

That is exactly where Sam went and it was a good thing too. Dean was captured, Castiel was busy, and he was the one who saved them. He was glad Famine ate the demons so he could destroy them while they were all inside of him and that gave them the chance to get the ring off. Sam wasn't given the option to just forget his need for demon blood though since he drank it.

"Sam? Did the bastard really send two demons to get you?" asked Dean.

Sam nodded and was about to say more when Gabriel appeared in the room. "Looks like you boys got it handled." he said before looking directly at Sam. "I'm sorry I couldn't stop them."

"It's fine Gabriel." he assured him with a small smile.

"Don't smile right now gigantor. The demon blood moustache you got going on makes it creepy." he said but with a small smirk so he knew he was teasing him before snapping his fingers to clean his face. Gabriel wished he could help him out with the detoxing though so he wouldn't have to go through the pain of getting demon blood out of his system. The only good thing about this time was that he didn't consume a lot of blood.

* * *

Dean was slightly surprised when Gabriel stated he wanted to stay in the panic room with Sam since it didn't go the greatest when he began detoxing. It would be definitely an interesting sight for Gabriel when the withdrawals began kicking in but he had a feeling he was doing it more so that Sam wasn't left alone. He couldn't stay in there since it was hard for him to hear and see his brother in pain. So with Sam and Gabriel in the panic room, Bobby on a hunt, it left Dean and Castiel in the kitchen. Castiel was awkwardly sitting across from Dean as he continued to stare at the wall and move his beer bottle in a slow circle. He knew that something was wrong with Dean and he could easily see it. "Dean, something is wrong." he started wondering if that would get him to talk. Dean however stayed quiet not even bothering to glance at Castiel. "Are you worried about Sam? I can assure you that Gabriel will make sure he deals with as little pain as possible."

"It's not about Sam." he said glancing finally but it wasn't toward Castiel, it was at the beer before he set it down on the table completely ignoring it.

"Then what is bothering you?" he asked pressing the subject since he didn't like what it was doing to Dean.

Dean didn't say anything for the longest time and the quiet was beginning to bother him. He didn't know how to go about this or if he even should after he had completely ignored that time, refusing to talk about it to Castiel. "I had a desire that Famine touched."

Castiel furrowed his eyebrows, "But you did not act any different."

"That's because what I desired was with me the whole time."

Castiel really didn't feel like guessing especially since whatever was his desire was making Dean act so different. "Sam?" he tried.

"It was you Cas…" he said softly surprised himself he was able to get it out.

* * *

**Alright so I barely got this chapter done in time. In time you ask? My fucking college decided that right before the Thanksgiving vacation that they would shut down the internet to update it so I had to get this done before I had no internet until I was home. I hope you guys enjoyed this rather lengthy chapter, nearly 5K, and continue reading!**


	12. Right Decision?

Right Decision?

"I know what I craved with Famine around." he stated focusing on his nearly empty beer hoping that he would be able to do this. It was always hard to talk about anything this close to his own emotional and mental state, especially when he was still trying to figure everything out.

Castiel tilted his head slightly not sure he could be craving anything since he acted completely normal the whole time he was around him. "I do not think Famine affected you Dean."

"It did Cas it just didn't seem like it because what I craved was you." he said quickly mostly wanting it off his chest and needing to make sure someone else saw it. "You went into the diner and not even seven seconds later I had to go in after you." he explained. "That was the only time you were away from me long enough to create the pull that I felt to make sure you were okay."

"But I thought that you…" he started to ask wanting to find out how Dean was so adamant about forgetting the temporary affection they had toward each other to suddenly having it back. Castiel really didn't understand humans at all.

Dean quickly finished off his beer and got up to throw it away and grab another one. "I did, I did want to forget and I thought I had but I couldn't. This isn't like with Cassie or Lisa, I was able to move on from them." he frowned frustrated with himself because the last thing he needed on top of this mess of trying to stop the apocalypse was figuring out what was going on with him. He didn't need a relationship, he didn't need someone to sleep with, he didn't need Castiel in that way, and he certainly wasn't afraid to lose him. Even thinking all those things felt wrong and it angered him. Everything used to make sense and being emotionally stunted wasn't helping one bit. Dean knew he had to choose his words carefully because Castiel was hanging onto every single one he was saying so far and he didn't want to let things go in the wrong direction. He didn't deserve this opportunity showing itself to him and one of the main reasons is because he didn't deserve to be alive again. There was no changing the way he felt about that and there was no changing the way he felt about Castiel so he had to decide on something. "We can't be together. This will be nothing more than the both of us hunting." he stated feeling like he was convincing himself more than Castiel.

Castiel hated not understanding human concepts as much as he could but that last sentence was clear enough for him. They were partners in saving the world and there was no other way to see it. He would listen as he always did with Dean unless he knew it was absolutely wrong. He did still have some hope that they could at least kiss again but as he was asked, he would forget it. "I agree Dean, we are only partners in hunting." he nodded before disappearing from the room.

Right away he knew it could have gone better, it could have been said different so Castiel didn't look so rigid. At least he didn't fight him or made a big deal of it. That was the last thing they needed and he knew Gabriel would be upset with him if he found out what he had said tonight. Even Sam would be angry at him but he knew this was for the better. This way neither one of them could get their hopes up for it only to be crushed. It was part of the family curse Sam always claimed that was on them and even though he would always deny it to him, he knew himself that it had to be somewhat true. They didn't deserve happiness and that definitely went for him.

* * *

When Sam finally was able to walk out of the panic room completely demon blood free he didn't see Dean or Castiel, just Gabriel and Bobby. Gabriel was so nice for everything he was doing and he was glad Bobby was there to welcome him. He didn't know where Dean could be since he figured he'd be one of the first ones to see him outside the door. "About time your back boy." smiled Bobby widely and Sam laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks Bobby, it's nice to be back." he said still feeling bad about the old hunter being stuck in the wheelchair. There had to be a way to fix but Gabriel continued to refuse to help and he didn't blame him. Sam liked the idea of having an archangel as their ace and wouldn't want to ruin that surprise. He also didn't like the idea of angels purposely finding them to get another one of Heaven's most powerful weapons back under control. He wanted Gabriel to stick around. Sam continued into the kitchen hoping that his brother was just stuffing his face but heard Bobby roll up behind him.

"He isn't there. Hell it's been a miracle if you do see him the past day…same goes for Castiel." he stated hating to sound a tad worried but they did have to be extremely careful.

Sam frowned and looked over at Gabriel not even needing to ask. "Can't tell you about Dean because of those sigils but Cassy is fine. He just comes every now and then to check up on you." he answered.

"This isn't good…"

* * *

Dean knew it was the right decision with what he was thinking but he still had moments when he felt the urge to slam on the brakes and turn back to Bobby's. _It was the right decision, it was the right decision._ That was the one mantra that played through his head the few moments after Castiel left Bobby's and he began to drink hoping he would be able to get drunk this time. It quickly turned into a pipe dream since he had drank so much of all the alcohol Bobby had in his house he built up one hell of a tolerance. He did have a nasty habit of drowning out decisions that he believed were right or things in general going wrong which made this situation even more difficult. Dean soon gave up on getting drunk and went to pass out in his room finding that as he waited _ages_ for his body to find sleep that what kept him up was listening for the silent flutter of wings. There was no way that Castiel would actually be serious about keeping it to a work relationship and that he would soon show up again like nothing happened…he had too.

This is why he was here now and not even sure of how many miles he was away from Bobby's place so far. Dean realized that after he woke up with no attempt at being witty from Castiel he knew then that he took him seriously. The heaviness that settled in his body was hard to deal with but as he moved through the house to quickly get some breakfast he found out moving lifted it slightly. He wasn't sure of why just moving seemed to push the heaviness away but it did and he found himself mindlessly driving down the road. The Impala's tires meeting mile of asphalt after mile of asphalt with no stop except to get gas once or twice before he finally pulled into a city. He looked at the buildings as they passed barely seeing any of the people until one in particular stuck out to him. It was a person standing out in the street, holding a bible, dressed up for priest camp, and carefully looking at people who passed.

* * *

"I'm sorry Sam but Cassy hasn't told me anything. I wish he has because I've noticed something off about him." repeated Gabriel really wishing he could be more of help to Sam but with his brother being as tight lipped as Sam's, they were getting nowhere.

Sam knew it was something that happened between Castiel and Dean but with Dean being cleverly hidden from all angels he was impossible to find. Bobby was calling up some contacts to keep an eye out for him just in case and he was left to hope that he wasn't about to do something stupid, Michael stupid. "Can't you call him again?" he asked bringing out the puppy eyes.

Gabriel huffed and leaned back in his chair wondering why he had to have a soft spot for this Winchester in particular. At least the other one wouldn't be so damn needy and look pitiful. "I will but I can't summon or force him to come here." he stated and called out again to Castiel through the special frequency they had to make sure no other angels could detect their conversation. He waited a few seconds hoping that this time the silence would be broken but still nothing. "He's still not answering Sam."

* * *

Dean was hoping that the bible fanatic he saw hadn't moved from the spot he was at since he had to go and make sure his affairs were in order. He made sure he shipped out the things he wanted to give to Bobby and Sam before walking the streets to find him. He knew it wouldn't take long to get the guy to do what he needed to call Zachariah and hoped that Sam would understand why he needed to do this. It was already beginning to weight heavy on him about his decision since he would need to kill Sam but he was sure the deal he had thought of and rehearsed in his head wouldn't be denied. Dean could soon hear a loud voice talking about judgement day and all the usual end of the world speak down the street. His footfalls began to get heavier and he could almost feel the blood rushing through his body making his ears pound slightly. _This is the only way to make sure everyone is safe and that future won't happen._ _'I've yelled myself hoarse trying to get the angels to answer but they don't care anymore, they left us here.'_ rang the words of his future self and it helped him reach the believer faster. "Hey, it's me so just, call or whatever you need to do." he stated making sure to stand right in front of him.

"Dear God…" he said eyes widening and never believing that he would be the one to find him.

* * *

Castiel soon showed up at Bobby's house looking at the three who were waiting on a phone call or something drastic that would explain where Dean was. Sam had no idea of where he would go and at first he thought he knew but Dean didn't seem that interested into Lisa anymore. He was the one who looked up and spotted Castiel first. "Castiel! About time you showed up, Dean is missing." he stated.

"I am sure he would not have gone too far and he is probably at a bar." he said dismissing the information since he didn't see anything wrong with it. Castiel also was a bit testy since Dean continued to put the blame on him when he hasn't even brought up the event of them kissing once. He knew that it was uncomfortable for Dean and would not speak of it with him yet he continued to make it sound like his fault. He wasn't doing anything specific to get his attention and it was bothering him a lot. These were all very natural human feelings but he didn't know how to deal with it that well making him irritable.

Sam frowned slightly at the way Castiel quickly blew him off when it concerned Dean and before he could ask what was wrong Bobby chimed in to make sure they stayed on the right track. "Castiel, he's been missing since early this morning and we have a feeling he's going to do something stupid." he stated quickly gaining the correct reaction they expected from the angel first, worry.

"By stupidity you mean…?" he asked.

"Michael stupid as Sam put it." quickly answered Gabriel since he had heard a few of Sam's thoughts of where he would be so he could check it out faster than Sam and Bobby could manage. "We don't know why he would so suddenly but we think he's trying it and because of those sigils I can't find him."

Castiel looked angry right away and Gabriel could see Castiel's wings tremble from the irritation. "I can't either so why did you call me?"

"Because he'll need to pray or have someone else pray for him to get Zachariah. I can't really go and be possibly found out. You could also get to him and make him listen better than any of us." he explained.

Castiel shook his head at that right away because Dean wanted to put more distance between them so there was no way he would listen right now. Gabriel frowned slightly and wanted to ask what was wrong with him but knew this wasn't the time. "I do not think he would listen." he stated.

"You could still try." pointed out Sam.

"You do not…" he began to say before he heard a prayer, a very loud prayer and disappeared without a word.

Sam looked over at Gabriel and saw the way he was looking as well. "What happened?"

"We found Dean."

* * *

"Dear God!" started the Christian after he got down on his knees and yelled the beginning of his prayer.

Dean hated people like this as he quickly looked around seeing that they gained a couple of people's attention because of how loud this idiot was. "I know I'm a pretty good prize here but-" He was interrupted the moment a flutter of wings sounded right next to him.

"You pray too loud." growled Castiel angry at Dean for going this far and quickly put the person to sleep before grabbing Dean's jacket forcing him into the alley.

"Cas, hold on a sec!" he exclaimed before he was pushed into a wall.

Castiel didn't explain or even say anything at first before he punched Dean. His strength wasn't being held back because his anger was getting the best of him. "How could you?!" he snapped at him as he punched him a second time. Dean couldn't even get a word in as a third punch landed squarely on his jaw. He then pressed up against grabbing fistfuls of his clothes and moved close to his face to make sure he heard every word. "I gave up everything for you." he growled his eyes flashing bright as his anger spiked again. Dean didn't understand how much he gave up for him and here he was giving up! He then pulled away so he could push Dean over to the other side of the alley. "How could you just throw it away?!" he demanded.

Dean was disoriented as Castiel stepped up close to him again and the moment his eyes could focus on one spot he tried explaining. "Cas I-" He still wasn't given a chance as Castiel stepped back to punch him in the gut and pull him to the middle of the alley. Castiel then kicked Dean as if he was a rock down the alley into the fence at the end of the alley. He walked slowly over to Dean who was slightly curled up on the ground. He knew the human was trying to protect the more fragile parts of his body and didn't even bother to move his head down. Only his eyes looked down at Dean with malice, his hand curled tightly into a fist. He wanted to continue hurting him, showing him that this wasn't the right decision and didn't expect Dean to taunt him. "Go on." he groaned trying to get enough power in his voice. "Do it!" he yelled.

Castiel knew then he couldn't as his eyes softened and his hand slowly uncurled. He moved his head to look down at him showing slight regret he had to go this far before leaning down to knock him out. "I will not let you give up Dean Winchester." he said softly.

* * *

Sam and Bobby were busy with helping Dean's injuries and didn't dare talking to Castiel too much. It was rare for them to see Castiel even get close to harming Dean but he sure did do a number on him. Castiel was up on the roof looking off into the distance trying to figure out what made Dean believe he could give up. There was nothing good that could come out of it and he didn't even believe his brothers would follow up on the deal. He had all his faith in Dean and now he managed to show that there was no reason to put faith in anything because it could easily fail at any moment, no matter who or what you faith in.

Gabriel decided to follow his brother and didn't even need to try looking in two different spots, he knew Castiel very well. High spots were always a comfort for him when he was younger and appeared on the roof next to him. "Cassy, I can tell something more than just Dean running to Michael is bothering you." he stated because he was upset before they found out that he was really doing that.

Castiel didn't bother to look over at him and continued to focus on what was in front of him. "There is nothing else bothering me."

"Come on…I know I've been gone for a long time but I'm here now and you can still talk with me." he assured him and set his hand on his shoulder.

Castiel finally looked over at him and leaned toward his touch. "I am just upset that he didn't trust that we could do it and went to Michael. You could say my faith was put in him instead of our Father and he gave up."

Gabriel wrapped his arms around Castiel and pulled him into a hug glad he didn't pull away. He knew the Castiel he had left behind was still there, just hurting and getting used to him being alive again. "Even if he went about it the wrong way we stopped him and he won't do it again. I mean come on Cassy, I didn't know you got into the rough stuff." he smirked at him but didn't get the desired reaction.

"Rough? I had to be rough." he said a little uncertain and confused by what he was meaning.

"You're no fun to tease about that kind of thing…I might as well stick with making gigantor blush." he stated and messed up Castiel's hair by running his hand through it roughly.

Castiel frowned and pulled away wondering why he did that but didn't move to fix. "You should be careful with what you do with Sam brother. Dean could get upset and try to get you to leave." he pointed out not wanting him to go anytime soon.

"Don't worry about that." he said quickly waving it off because everything Sam and him have done so far has been completely consensual from both sides. "Sam likes to be around me as well."

* * *

Even though he really didn't want to be around Dean or possibly be there when he woke up, Bobby had to sleep, Sam went off somewhere with Gabriel which left him behind to watch over Dean. Castiel really wanted to know what Dean had planned when he said yes to Michael. He knew he would make sure his brother would live, his parents back alive, and that as much of the world could be saved in the process. Those were things he instantly knew Dean would want but he knew that was on his mind since he first heard about being Michael's vessel. There was something else he didn't know that made him change his mind so quickly. He watched Dean sleep and soon focused on his forehead debating if he should read his mind. It would make things ten times easier and he would find out if he should be as angry as he thought. Castiel continued to debate his options for a while longer before he sighed. He didn't want to destroy the privacy Dean had but he was just so lost on what he should focus on feeling that he quickly took a peek into his mind.

His focus was on the deal he would make with Michael so he wouldn't see anything else. It didn't take too long for him to find it but when he did he pulled away from Dean's prone body quickly. Castiel knew Dean was being a hypocrite the whole time about their situation but he really didn't think Dean would go that far. Dean was going as far as to demand Michael to keep him at full angel status and no longer be deemed a traitor. For someone who really wanted to stop caring about him he was about to give away everything they worked for, for him. It gave him a strong feeling of guilt and happiness in all one. He felt guilty because he was going to be the cause of everything going wrong and yet he was happy since this was evidence that Dean still wanted him around. Humans were strange but Dean had to be the strangest.

* * *

**Alright that last paragraph was very hard to come up with…(I'm not even sure I still like it)I think I changed the outcome, wording, and everything about it at least five times before I finally went with what you read. This is getting really hard to do now because it's getting close to stuff and with finals for college coming up makes it even more difficult to focus. I hope you guys enjoyed it and are ready for the next chapter, it will be a tough one for me and all you wonderful people reading this story.**


	13. Too Late

Too Late

Sam really didn't mind that Gabriel was hanging out around them more often nowadays. It helped keep Castiel around even if things weren't going well between his brother and him. He wanted to help out the two but he was focused on finding hunts, researching during them, or helping out Gabriel to find out new ways that they could defeat Lucifer. On his end, he was running out of options yet that didn't stop him from looking. Unless Gabriel thought it would be fun to mess with him and that was beginning to escalate as well. It could be some of his clothes would go missing, his towel would shrink, or Gabriel would just appear right next to him as close as Dean and Castiel would stand.

This time around he was falling asleep at his computer. Thankfully he was at the table so he wouldn't accidentally drop it but he refused to go to bed for the sole reason of finding another lead on how to deal with Lucifer. Research on the computer could only get so far and that wasn't stopping him. Even though he hadn't found a single lead in a month now he refused to give up. He yawned having it last a lot longer than he wanted it too before he stopped and his eyes were half closed.

"Moose, you need sleep." interjected Gabriel poking the side of his head. Gabriel hated to see Sam stress out so much over finding something that didn't exist. There was no way they could beat his brother, just no possible way.

"I'm fine." assured Sam yawning only a few seconds after. He just knew there had to be something to help fix what he had done. There was always something and he found it no matter how elusive it could be.

Gabriel rolled his eyes and knew right away that Sam would be passing out the next time his head went down. He was ready for it and saw the hunter's head dipping down toward the laptop on the table. He quickly snapped his fingers and instead of falling onto the table, Sam fell into his bed. "Get some sleep." he said softly not wanting to wake him up and also took care of his laptop. There was no way he was going to let Sam continue researching until he had a proper break from it. It was nice to have the extra brain thinking but he didn't need it. He had found _one_ way and one way only to get Lucifer back into his cage. Gabriel couldn't say it though, couldn't even think about it most of the time because he didn't want to lose Sam. He was being selfish again and doing things for his own needs but Sam deserved more than what he found. Maybe that's why he was still letting Sam come up with ideas and research them down to the bone. He didn't want to admit to himself that he would have to lose Sam in order to defeat his brother. "Get as much sleep as you can."

When Sam woke up he barely remembered how he got to bed and was glad Gabriel looked after him. He had begun to work a little more lately trying to find something to stop the apocalypse to help Gabriel. Sam however could tell that Gabriel had more planned then just making sure he would sleep. For one he didn't see his laptop anywhere in the room and when he went downstairs to the kitchen it still wasn't there. "Gabe…" he said softly and decided to find out where he was hiding. It really didn't take too long since he went straight to Dean's room and saw Gabriel at the door. He knew that Gabriel still had tendencies to trick someone so if it wasn't Sam, he was with Dean. Gabriel learned the hard way that it was better not to trick Bobby and Castiel was in and out doing his own research to stop the apocalypse. "What are you doing?" he asked him.

"Shh moose, can't have your big foot steps and mouth getting me caught." he whispered smirking back at Sam. Gabriel was holding a bucket and he could see it was a clear liquid, like water but it looked odd. The water wasn't moving like it should while being held in a bucket.

Before Sam could speak up again though Gabriel ducked into the room and since he knew how great this prank was going to go, he decided to go back downstairs for now. His foot just barely hit the first floor when there was a loud yell from upstairs. Gabriel appeared downstairs in front of Sam definitely liking how he could prank the two Winchesters any time that he wanted now. "Did you have your fun?"

"Of course I did now I bet you found out your laptop is gone right?" he asked his smirk never leaving his face.

"Where is it Gabe?" he asked not even going to play his little game right now.

Gabriel shook his head and patted his shoulder. "No researching today Sammy, you need to take a break, have some fun." he smirked turning around and going into the kitchen. He didn't want Sam threatening him or anything before he could get him to eat breakfast. He snapped his fingers and a plate of crepes appeared on the table. They were raspberry flavored, with whipped cream, a chocolate drizzle, and a couple banana slices on top of the whip cream. "You need breakfast."

Sam furrowed his eyebrows trying to figure out if he was planning on pranking him or if he was being serious about this. "I would have eaten breakfast on my own Gabe so will you please just tell me where my laptop?" Gabriel shook his head and pointed to the crepes. He had a feeling that he wouldn't get much done today as he sat down to eat the crepe. It tasted really delicious but Gabriel could easily snap the best tasting food at any time of the day. "Thank you Gabe." he smiled and it was nice to be able to eat good food like this. Sam knew that Gabriel could also cook since he had seen him in the kitchen before and tried his food this was just easier and faster for their life style.

"No problem Sam, now just enjoy the breakfast and I might show you where your laptop is." he smiled at him.

Sam did enjoy the breakfast, didn't enjoy hearing Dean gripe very loudly about being woken up by nearly frozen water, and decided to go back to his room when Bobby came to the kitchen ready to sew Dean's mouth shut for being so loud. He got back to his room and saw Gabriel sitting on his bed. "Now where is my laptop?" he demanded.

"Not now gigantor, I'm busy trying to think of where I should go visit today." he said looking over at Sam and searching his mind to see where he would like to visit. Gabriel already knew he would have to take a bit to get what he wanted since Sam's mind was crowded with many other things instead of vacations.

"Gabe, this is ridiculous. We don't have time to do anything since we're supposed to be finding a way to kill Lucifer." he reminded him. Sam was already tired of these games and usually he wouldn't do this. He could still research and get pranked but now he can't do anything other than wait on Gabriel to give back his laptop.

Gabriel soon found the perfect place that they could go too and smiled widely. "Even when you're really busy, there's always time for some fun." he said going over to Sam and resting a hand on his shoulder. He quickly transferred them before Sam could pull away or make any objections. He took them to a beach, both of them in swim suits, and he was the one who had a duffel bag filled with things one needed for the beach.

Sam was thrown off not able to bitch face at the moment as he looked around at the beach. He had seen a few pictures and some commentaries about some of the greatest beaches to visit. "Is this…?" he asked not getting the word out as he continued to look around the beach.

Instead of being captured by the beach Gabriel had to give Sam's body a few minutes of appreciation. Sure he's seen him with his shirt off a few times and have felt up his body during some hot make out sessions but seeing him in just a swim suit was ten times better than anything else. His eyes didn't leave Sam's torso as he nodded. "Yes, it's the beaches at Seychelles. I saw in your nerd brain that you saw a news article about beaches and would have liked to go to a beach." he stated.

"Why?" he asked finally looking back at Gabriel and saw that the other was looking at him straight in the eyes.

"Because you need some time to have fun." he said and set the duffel bag down. "Now, how about we put on some sunscreen before you burn? Don't want that body being untouchable." he smirked.

Sam still wasn't too sure about this break but it was nice to finally be on a beach after years of not seeing an ocean. "Fine, but only for a few hours." he stated.

Gabriel smirked wider and took out the sunscreen. "Great, now just sit down and let me lather you up." he winked.

"Take it somewhat seriously Gabe." he said even though he was still smiling a little as he moved to sit down.

Gabriel poured some sunscreen onto his hand and began rubbing it onto Sam's back. He was really amazed at how far he came from being so scrawny and with just Sam breathing he could feel certain muscles move in his back. There had to be a law against being able to look the way he did and purposely rubbed a little harder when Sam shivered. He hoped those were a little more sensitive for the man but the one time he swore he heard a moan was when he was getting the back of his neck. Sam's muscles tensed right away and he did let slip a low moan before he turned around snatching the bottle away.

"I'm good now, thanks Gabe." he said quickly beginning to put sunscreen on the front of his body. "Do you need some help?"

"No, I'm an archangel, I can easily snap away any sunburn." he assured Sam and shamelessly watched Sam's hand move along his chest.

Sam hurried up a little after Gabriel began staring at him intensely and put the bottle back into the duffel bag. He thought Gabriel would have gone into the water by now but he wasn't going to wait for him as he turned to the water and began to walk into the ocean. He went until the water was up to his chest and he dove in the rest of the way. It was really nice to be at the ocean and actually swim in the water. The last time he was here was when they were kids and their dad wouldn't let them go swimming. He didn't want them wasting time when they were on a hunt and they couldn't get him to agree to go after the hunt. Dean tried arguing the most with John to get him to agree but once he gave him a solid order to focus on the hunt, he gave up. Sam resurfaced farther away from the shore and used his legs to keep his head afloat so he could quickly push his hair out of his face. He knew why his brother acted like that but it still would have been nice to have done this way back then. _Our lives are still fucked up…_

Gabriel was just really here so Sam could enjoy the ocean like he wanted to before and sat down on the towel he got out of the bag. He was watching the hunter swim around and it almost looked like he was beginning to do a workout. "He doesn't understand the concept of a break…" he mumbled under his breath. Sam looked over at Gabriel and from the distance they were at now Gabriel couldn't see the small frown on his face. He swam back toward the shore and began walking out of the water. Gabriel's eyes focused on Sam and really wanted to see him wet more often now. He didn't even care if his thoughts continued to get dirty about Sam because they made out and he had a feeling that they weren't far from having sex. Sam was walking over to him as a small wave crashed into his back barely making him but because of the water he had to push his hair back again. _His hair is a little long, but perfect to grab onto._ He definitely wouldn't deny Sam and missed the first thing Sam had said to him since he was thinking too much. "I don't speak moose." he smirked.

"I just wanted to know why you weren't swimming." he repeated himself with a halfhearted sigh. He really didn't mind Gabriel zoning out since he's been doing it a little more recently and he already felt a lot more relaxed just being somewhere he wanted always wanted to be.

"I like watching you better." he stated.

Sam shook his head at that and held out a hand for him to take. "It won't kill you to join me." he stated with a small smile. It really wouldn't and it would be more fun if Gabriel was out there swimming along with him.

Gabriel knew that if Sam began using his puppy eyes he would be stuck going anyway so he took his hand and stood up. "Fine, but only this once."

Gabriel was pretty sure the day had gone as perfectly as he hoped for Sam. It better have since he was finding it hard to breathe and he was the angel here. Sam could be damn needy when he wanted to be and that's why he found it hard to even snap them up to his room. Their kisses had all been breathless, rough, and nearly all teeth. His lips were definitely swollen and red when he finally managed to pull away enough to look at Sam. That only lasted for a few seconds before Sam was nibbling along his neck and creating hickeys as he went. "G-geez Sam, I didn't know you were so needy." he teased lightly and moaned when Sam's hands put just enough pressure onto his hips.

"I didn't completely ignore your staring." he stated as he focused on rubbing his hips now and eliciting more moans to come from the smaller male. Sam began to create hickeys on his neck not moving too fast as he focused more on just pleasuring, teasing Gabriel at the moment. Gabriel moaned a little louder and tilted his head to give Sam a little more room to get at his neck. He definitely didn't expect things to go this well after just one day of treating Sam to one of his dreams since it looked like the only hope they had was Sam. Those thoughts were quickly pushed out of his mind when Sam's hands moved under Gabriel's shirts sending shivers down his spine. "Did you have this planned the whole time?" he asked as he pulled away to look at Gabriel ghosting his fingers over his nipples.

Gabriel gasped lightly and shook his head. "Not really but I'm not complaining about the turn of events." he smirked and wrapped his arms around his neck to pull him into a deep kiss again. He really liked to feel Sam's possessiveness come out like this and he was usually defiant made the kiss extra rough and more teeth than a kiss should have. It could also be that in some small way that they still hated each other. As odd as it was to think that as they were beginning to work out of their clothes they reason to hate one another. Gabriel hated Sam for trying to kill him so many times and then Sam's was for killing Dean and messing with his head for months. Either way it didn't matter to him as he was pushed back onto the bed and moaning lightly. He arched his back into the small touch of Sam stroking him slowly. "Stop fucking _teasing_." he glared slightly at him.

Sam only smiled up at him and moved to nibble on his hips lightly. Gabriel moaned again and shifted trying to get out from under Sam. He was a lot stronger than Sam but he couldn't get his body to cooperate. Being an archangel had perks like being stronger than most of the things on Earth and the feeling of being submissive is always a turn on for him. "I like watching you being unable to do anything." he said before moving lower and licking along Gabriel's length.

"Sam!" he moaned louder and decided that it was enough. Gabriel quickly overpowered Sam and rolled them over so the hunter was underneath him. "You don't have any more control now." he stated going so far as to pin Sam's hands above his head. He had a feeling Sam pushed him to this point on purpose since Sam did nothing to regain control back in his favor.

"I don't see any problem with this." he smirked up at him and Gabriel couldn't believe he had fallen for that.

Gabriel quickly leaned down to kiss Sam deeply trying to get that damn smirk off his face. He thought of another way to push away that smirk as he began slowly grinding down against Sam. It took a few tries before he managed to rub both of their erections together for a few seconds. Both of them moaned into the kiss and Sam tried to move back against him but with neither of them guiding their movements there was no way they could grind against each other that way for long. "Just stay here sexy." smirked Gabriel as he moved down Sam's body and quickly took the head of Sam's cock into his mouth. He knew that Sam was already larger than average since that was the point of the towel disappearing act and already knew what to expect. The size didn't matter though as he watched Sam's face slowly lose the control he had moments before. He took more of his cock into his mouth sucking hard and letting one hand tease the rest of the length not yet in his mouth.

Sam this time arched his back wanting to be deeper into Gabriel's mouth. It had actually been awhile since he'd been with someone but the way he felt with Gabriel made it feel a lot better than any other time before. He moaned louder closing his eyes as he felt Gabriel's mouth slide more onto his cock and tensed when he felt Gabriel begin to slowly pull back. "Don't…" he groaned not wanting that to stop before he felt Gabriel move above him. His eyes shot open not expecting to see Gabriel positioning himself already. "It's going to-"

"Hurt? I know that cockzilla but calm down. An archangel or angel in general has perks." he smirked breathing a little heavy himself from just the knowledge that he was about to do this. Gabriel knew Sam was alright with it or he would have stopped them sooner and even right now he gave it time for it to register in Sam's mind what he was about to do. When the time was done he slowly began to lower himself doing his best to keep relaxed. _Maybe a little stretching would have been good…_ He winced and tightened making it a little harder to go down. His arms shook slightly but instead of falling the rest of the way without being ready Sam quickly grabbed his hips.

"Tell me when you're ready." he said sounding a bit strained since he would rather thrust or pull him down the rest of the way just so he could be completely inside of Gabriel. Sam grinded his teeth slightly to help keep his control as Gabriel stared at him confused for a few seconds. He was glad that Sam had reached to help him and found that for whatever feelings that were already there grew quickly.

Gabriel found himself falling more in love with Sam because he knew that it must be taking a lot to stop him or at least help hold Gabriel from moving. His hands lightly ghosted along Sam's arms feeling the muscles he was using were tight at the moment but his arms weren't shaking. Sam was very strong but even so, he was still so weak, sensitive, emotional, conflicted, caring, and perfect. "Stop being so perfect." he mumbled under his breath and braced his hands on his chest so he could help Sam with his weight.

Sam barely caught his words but he only smiled at him. "I'm not perfect." he said as Gabriel gave him a small nod as the go ahead. They both worked together to continue helping Gabriel slide further down his cock and just as Gabriel was about to stop again he finally felt Sam's lap.

"You're definitely proportionate." he said with a small smile as he took a few breaths to steady himself further. Sam smiled back overwhelmed with pleasure to think of anything witty back right that second. He moaned when Gabriel began pulling off until he felt just the tip inside and slid back down letting gravity do most of the work. Gabriel's movements were slow but they began to quicken. He felt so full but that didn't stop him from wanting more of Sam.

"G-Gabe." moaned Sam louder thrusting up into him a couple times trying to get deeper. He could almost feel the need Gabriel had at the moment and tightened his grip on his hips again to help accomplish that goal. Their bodies became synchronized while their moans easily filled the room to the point anyone next to their room could hear them. When they weren't moaning their breaths were heavy or trying to kiss the other's air out of their lungs. It was desperate sounding but for the both of them the only thing that mattered was the feel of the other being so close. Sam began to mark up Gabriel the best that he could while breathing heavily and thrusting up into Gabriel.

Gabriel wanted him deeper to hit that spot inside of him but his orgasm continued to build. His lower stomach muscles began to tighten, breath heavier, and words becoming impossible to say. He began to get erratic with his movements and he could feel Sam losing what little control he had left as well signaling they were near the end. As much as he didn't want it to stop he tried once more to angle himself properly and he finally managed to get it right this time. He moaned Sam's name loudly when he hit his prostate directly and any further movements from his end stopped as he arched his back releasing. "Sam!"

Sam couldn't last any longer than Gabriel only getting one last thrust into the new tightness Gabriel presented him. "Gabe!" he moaned loudly gripping his hips tighter that would most likely create bruises and released deep inside of him.

Minutes passed of deafening quiet compared to the sounds that just filled the room seconds ago as both parties panted heavily with eyes closed. Sam's grip slowly relaxed and let his hands fall down by his sides. Gabriel finally managed to move his body and decided to lie down on Sam's chest using the taller male as a pillow. He instantly regretted moving when he felt Sam's now softened cock fall out but he couldn't sit up any longer. He was tired and a little sore already. The soreness he blamed on the rough way that Sam treated his lips, hips, and ass (which was his fault but that didn't mean he wouldn't blame Sam). "I feel like we should have done that sooner." he smirked once he caught his breath and moved to rest his chin on Sam's chest and look him in the eyes.

"I don't think it would have been as good if we did it sooner." he smiled softly and wrapped his arms around Gabriel.

"Mmm, maybe." hummed Gabriel softly just glad that he wasn't seeing too much into Sam and possibly getting the wrong idea.

Sam rubbed Gabriel's back looking at the ceiling as he let the feelings that have developed further over the past few weeks settle completely in his mind. He knew it couldn't be that outrageous to say after having sex but he was still unsure with Gabriel. "I…" he started having to take a few more seconds before continuing. "I love you." he said softly hoping it wasn't too soon or too much to hope for.

Gabriel looked away from his face and rested his head on its side so he could stare at the wall. At first Sam thought he was being rejected until Gabriel finally spoke up. "I don't know how anyone couldn't love someone as perfect as you."

"I told you Gabe, I'm not perfect."

"Lies."

Sam smiled a little when he figured out why Gabriel was being hesitant. He did usually have a knack for reading people he cared about. "But this perfect person found someone more perfect."

Gabriel instantly looked back at him with a frown. "You're a liar."

"A bad liar." he continued to smile.

Gabriel tried to keep the frown or at least a pout on his face but couldn't manage either after a few seconds. "A_ very_ bad liar." he smiled and moved to kiss him softly.

Sam and Gabriel fell into a relationship without even needing to agree on it. They both really loved spending time with each other and if they were inseparable from before, now they were joined at the hip. Neither of them minded though since they were able to do everything while in the other person's space and both Dean and Castiel were happy for them. Both of them knew that they deserved each other but every time their increasing fragile relationship was brought up the subject was changed. Dean was just flat out avoiding it thinking it was the best thing to do and Castiel was doing whatever Dean thought was best, which has gotten him into a lot of trouble so far.

What none of them expected was for Lucifer to find them, to come to them, and they were not prepared. The only warning they got was Gabriel and Castiel's head quickly snapping to the front of the house. "Lucifer."

Dean was already trying to get his brother to move far away from any door, Castiel quickly checked the angel proofing, and Gabriel was at a loss. He wasn't sure of what he should do since he knew of the only way that they could put Lucifer back in the cage but they weren't ready and he could do some serious damage here. The last thing he needed was for anyone in this house to get harmed. He looked at Castiel when he came back but before he could say anything Lucifer shouted from outside.

"I know you're all in there! This angel proofing can keep me out but you all have to stay put as well!" he smiled widely glad he could find Sam and talk with him. Lucifer tried speaking with him before but that was like talking to a brick wall. Sam still had options which are why he waited until this moment to try again. This time he knew that Sam had nothing left because his sources that found out where they were hiding told him that they were looking for a way to beat him. If only they would just give in already and realize that this battle must be done.

"Gabriel, what are we going to do?" asked Castiel afraid for the Winchesters since they were the targets. They really didn't know how they were found but they couldn't figure out why yet until they were in the clear again.

Gabriel didn't want to answer that and he really didn't want to believe what he was thinking. For being a coward so long he figured he would have stayed that way yet Dean's words continued to run through his mind. _You are just too afraid to stand up to you family!_ He was already blaming the hunter for putting those thoughts into his head and snapped up a DVD before shoving it into Castiel's chest. "Go where Dean went, make sure Sam stays inside of the house, give this to him, and under no circumstances will you come outside, got it?" he demanded.

Castiel frowned slightly looking at the DVD and back to Gabriel. The frown at first was confusion and now it was sorrow. He could tell what Gabriel was about to do and he didn't want to give it the okay but he nodded anyway. "I will do that Gabriel…thank you." he said before turning to leave the room.

"Don't know why I always have to save your ass Castiel." he mumbled before making a couple sigils disappear so he could step outside and put the sigils back up. "Hey bro." he smirked.

Lucifer's eyes widened slightly not thinking that he could still be alive. Gabriel was tricky and knew how to fool people but to fool Heaven took a lot more than a few parlor tricks. "Gabriel, I'm not at all surprised you're not dead. Always been a thorn in my side so why should you stop now?" he asked.

Gabriel ignored the banter and let his archangel blade drop from his sleeve so he could hold it. "I don't have time for chit chat Luci."

"So you'll go ahead and tell me why you are taking away my vessel from me?" he asked.

"I'm not taking him away, he won't say yes."

"Yes he will."

This time Gabriel kept quiet because of the DVD and the information on said DVD that he had given Castiel. "Even if he does say yes, he'll beat you." he stated.

Lucifer shook his head sighing. No one could take him seriously anymore and he was wondering if it was because of his vessel beginning to burn up. His hand moved to touch the marks on his face absently before shrugging it off. "I will succeed and this planet will finally be rid of Father's worst creation." he stated.

"No, you can't get rid of them because they will always try. Even when they mess up or it doesn't seem possible, they always try. I envy them, fear them, but above all, I'm rooting for them Lucifer. I'm on their side because they will win." he said defiantly.

"You are just as crazy as our dead Father but that's okay. You'd be better off dead and no longer ruining what is mine."

Gabriel couldn't help but smirk a little bit at that. "Hate the fact you couldn't ride Sam first?"

Lucifer's eyes narrowed slightly at Gabriel before thinking of what he could say. "You don't love him Gabriel, far from it. You only found a chance to under my skin since you will never fight me and thought that was your only way."

"Come on then, find out if I will fight or not." urged Gabriel raising his blade ready to strike for when Lucifer did attack.

"You don't want to do this."

"Oh I do, I can't have you hurting Sam." he threatened summoning up a fake Gabriel to take his place while he walked up behind Lucifer.

Lucifer didn't move at all until Gabriel tried to stab him with the blade. He quickly turned around redirecting the blade into Gabriel's stomach. Gabriel's eyes widened and he quickly grabbed onto Lucifer's sleeve. "You don't try to fool someone who taught you everything you know." he hissed pushing the blade farther into Gabriel. "You made me do this."

Gabriel shook his head as he looked so frightened and sad knowing that this time he was actually going to die and stay dead. He just wished that he didn't wait forever to finally get as far as he did with Sam. "No one makes us do anything." he said before the blade finally set into him and he screamed loudly tilting his head back. A bright light began to pour out of Gabriel and soon it flashed brightly.

Lucifer let Gabriel's body fall to the ground and the hate he had before was disappearing quickly in to pain. He really didn't want to kill Gabriel but he left him no choice. "You should have stayed hidden."

Inside of the house, Castiel handed the DVD to Sam so that he could keep it and trying to keep him calm until he felt it. It was almost like being stabbed himself. Castiel could feel that Gabriel was dying and he snapped himself outside making sure the angel sigils were down. He looked at Gabriel's body on the ground and then up at Lucifer who was still there. His blade came out of his sleeve as he glared at Lucifer. "You will pay for that."

"I'm glad to see you again Castiel." he said but this time he wasn't really all that happy. Lucifer hated to kill his own kind since they were above human kind. He couldn't make special favors though even for someone as close as Gabriel since he had made it clear he was against him. "Do not make the same mistake as him."

"You will not take Sam Winchester and you will not kill human kind." he stated before moving to attack Lucifer.

Lucifer easily side stepped him and grabbed his wrist. He gripped it to make the blade fall from his hand and smiled widely. "I've been working on this while in the cage. Time to see if all that work was for something good." he said putting his fingers onto his head before Castiel could fight back or say anything. Castiel's body fell to the ground and he disappeared. He could wait until Sam came looking for him to get his vessel.

Sam didn't like how quickly Castiel left and neither did Dean which is how he even got upstairs and outside. If Dean wasn't worried for Castiel, he wouldn't have gotten by and he wished that he could have gotten up here sooner. He would have done anything to make sure that Gabriel was okay and that's why his world came crashing down when he saw Gabriel's body on the ground, with wing imprints underneath him. "Gabe…" he said softly as his heart fell down to his stomach. Every person he ever came to love or get close too has died and this was further proof. He quickly ran over to his prone body and tears appearing in his eyes. "Gabe!" he exclaimed picking up his body to hold it close to him. Gabriel didn't even flinch or anything so this wasn't an illusion. "Please, you can't be dead…" he cried feeling the tears begin to fall and held Gabriel closer to his body. He rested their foreheads together and began wishing it was Tuesday or it was a trick or anything to help him come back. "Gabe!"

"Now you're sure you're okay?" asked Dean for the thousandth time as he watched Castiel sit onto the couch. They had just gotten done burying Gabriel and Sam was putting the DVD in so they could watch it.

"Yes Dean, I'm fine." he assured him and was surprised about it. Castiel was ready for anything and everything to be wrong with him because of what Lucifer said before he knocked him out. He didn't like the idea of not knowing what Lucifer had done to him but as of right now, they had to focus on other things.

Sam was still quiet and refused to talk to anyone, showing just how much Gabriel's death affected him. He loved him and he was hoping that this time he could keep someone precious to him alive. He just wasn't strong enough or worthy of someone who could make him happy and by this point it was true. _I'm sorry Gabe that I couldn't help you._

The DVD began playing and it was a little awkward for all three of them. Dean thought it was going to actually be the Casa Erotica movie it claimed to be but instead Gabriel came into the shot. Gabriel was focused on the lady at first but he suddenly turned around. "Well, it should be obvious that I'm dead if you have this DVD. The reason I didn't want the information that's on here told just yet was because I didn't want to lose Sam. There's only one way to defeat Lucifer and you need the four horseman rings for that. They are the key to the cage but you need to get Lucifer in there. It should be obvious now why I didn't want to lose Sam because he won't go in there willingly." he explained going to get right to it since there was no reason in hiding or delaying the news now that he was dead. "I didn't want these words out in the open yet since Lucifer shouldn't know about this. I'm sorry I didn't say anything but I was selfish, I'm always selfish and I'm glad that you actually put up with me Sam." he said and snapped his fingers turning the lady into an exact double of Sam. "Now if you don't mind, I have some business to take care of." he smirked but Sam was quick at turning off the television so they wouldn't see the rest of it.

"No, you won't do that Sam." stated Dean right away willing to argue this point until they died.

Sam shook his head though already agreeing with Gabriel. "Look at how hard it is to get rid of him. It'll be even harder to kill him."

Dean still shook his head and looked at Castiel. "You have to agree with me!"

Castiel looked at Dean before looking back at Sam. He knew why Sam would mostly want to do this and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry Dean but if you can prove resilient to Michael and with everything else you guys have accomplished, I believe Sam could do it."

"I will do it Dean, no matter if you want me too or not. I need to get him back for what he's done."

Sam found himself later that night watching the DVD again wishing that Gabriel was still alive. It wasn't fair that he had to be taken away so quickly since their relationship hardly began. This time when the lady turned into him he continued to watch to see what Gabriel would do. Gabriel turned around to kiss Sam deeply but instead of having sex he turned back toward the camera. "Hey Sammy, I knew you wouldn't watch the rest with Dean and Cas if it looked like I was about to wreck your body." he smirked a little and he saw the double of him disappear. "I wanted to make sure you would be the only one to hear this. I knew that if Lucifer would come to get you sooner than we expected that I would fight him and die; hence why this DVD was literally at the tip of my fingers ready to be handed off to you. Part of me is glad that I don't have to watch you die but the other part wishes that I could have spent more time with you. I love you Sam but I couldn't bare living without you so I found a heroic but selfish way to keep from living without you. I'm horrible, I know and you can curse my name as much as you want but I really do love you and I know you'll beat Lucifer." he smiled at him before the DVD ended. That was something he really didn't expect. He was glad that Gabriel finally said that he loved him back but he could understand why Gabriel would willingly die. Gabriel was doing it to protect him foremost and then secondly, it was to make sure he wouldn't live alone. Sam still didn't care though because there was no way he could curse his name again, he loved Gabriel and he would avenge his death.


	14. The Right Thing to Do

The Right Thing to Do

Crowley had decided to step in again because the only way that the boys were going to get anything done was if he helped. That meant sticking his neck out to help find the last horsemen that they needed. He really didn't like the constant contact with angels even if the one he was mostly going to be with wasn't connected to Heaven anymore. He was just being cautious though since the last person they had in their crusade to stop the apocalypse died recently. "Ugh, is this really all you have Bobby?" he asked frowning at the liquor he just tried.

Bobby startled as he turned his wheel chair around to see Crowley. This was the first time he was seeing him and he wasn't all that impressed either. "So you're the demon I've been hearing about?"

"That's me darling." he smiled and set the glass down. What Crowley didn't expect was for Bobby to have his sawed off shot gun underneath his desk and he quickly pulled it out shooting him in the chest. "Ow!" he yelled loudly and he wasn't really in pain but the shot did send him back onto his ass. "Is that how you great people?" he asked before moving to stand up. "I liked this suit…"

"Why are you here?" asked Bobby not liking how Crowley hardly even flinched after he had shot him and kept his shot gun level at the demon.

Crowley was still looking at the new holes in his suit with disgust because know it was really difficult to get good quality suits since his tailor died. "I'm here to help you sorry saps out."

Bobby at least put the shot gun in his lap and raised an eyebrow. "Last time you helped, we lost two of our friends."

"Who you take with you is not my problem and I was taking a gamble with the gun as well." he reminded Bobby as he stepped closer to older man. "You guys need the last ring, Death's ring. I can help you find him."

"I don't think you can tell me where Death is."

Crowley sighed shaking his head, "You know how deals work, correct Bobby?" he asked seeing that even just mentioning it wasn't settling right with Bobby. "Well when you make a deal with me, it suddenly becomes possible for me to pinpoint Death's whereabouts. Now, do you want to find Death or not?" he asked.

* * *

Death was doing his best with his newly found freedom given to him by Lucifer and that was if you could call it freedom. He was forced to do what dear old Satan wanted and he didn't have time for that. He was finally back on Earth and he could take over the business of reaping again. Tessa was doing a great job of it but he was meant to take care of it since he was _Death._ His next stop was to be Chicago, Illinois but he had another appointment first. It wasn't like his presence was needed immediately there so he had time to take a few minutes for himself. At the moment he was sitting in the back of a small family restaurant, they had some rather delicious and greasy hamburgers their fries weren't too bad either. He looked up when he heard the chair across from him being pulled across the floor and smiled a little as Crowley sat down. "It's been awhile since I've seen you."

"Not that long and I figured you'd know who I am." he said calmly looking down at the food he was eating. "You are still into that garbage?"

"There is nothing wrong with enjoying the food the humans make." he stated and continued to eat waiting for Crowley to continue speaking.

Crowley hadn't been in the presence of this man in so long but he and he knew without even asking he was upset about stealing his scythe. "Your scythe will be returned."

"I know."

"Of course you know, even when I was giving you some jobs way back then you still knew them before I got to you. It was nearly pointless to even go tell you what I needed done."

Death nodded but it was still the practical way to get business done. "The new job you have now is rather different."

"It is but I have a better job waiting once I get Lucifer back in the cage." he explained and decided that then they should stop reminiscing. "Where will you be in Chicago?"

"A pizza parlor, the best in Chicago actually." he answered finishing up his dinner and drinking the soda.

Crowley nodded and moved to stand up. "I will do my best to bring the Winchesters to you."

"You will get caught-" he began to say but Crowley turned around glaring a little at him.

"It's Crowley now Death, Crowley." he corrected him before leaving the restaurant and going back to his own work. He knew where Death was going to be now and he would make sure that the boys would get connected with him.

* * *

"I feel in the mood for pizza, how about you?" asked Crowley as Dean and him walked toward a warehouse. Dean was depending on Crowley since he was able to see the reapers and he also had Bobby's soul.

"Pizza? Is there some kind of junk food thing with you demons?" he asked wondering because with Ruby it was always French fries. Crowley shrugged a little as he looked at the warehouse. There were a lot of reapers and he already knew Death wasn't here but apparently Dean needs more of a hint. "Are you sure he's here?"

Crowley looked at him with an unimpressed face, "If you could see the amount of reapers here you would know." he stated. He then disappeared into the warehouse only to pretend that he was making sure he wasn't there. After a few seconds passed he appeared behind Dean shaking his head. "Not in there."

"Not, in there?" asked Dean turning around and already beginning to glare at him.

"All the signs pointed and this time it turned out wrong."

Dean shook his head waving his hand in a way to exaggerate that this wasn't good. "There is no wrong in this Crowley we need Death's ring. Where the hell is he?"

* * *

Before they would even go to Dallas and defeat Lucifer, Sam needed to speak with Dean. Things had gotten ten times better with Dean and Castiel, they were even back to the usual staring contests and whatever else they did. Sam pulled Dean to the side though and made sure he was focused on him. "Dean, I need you to make me a promise."

"I'm not making any promises remember? We'll find some way to get you o-"

Sam shook his head interrupting Dean from finishing off that last sentence. "No Dean. I do not want you getting me out. I know where I'm going and I don't care. I'm going to get the revenge I need for Gabriel and on top of that, fix the problem I created so promise me Dean."

Dean still didn't like doing this because he would find a way, he had to find a way. There was no way he could just leave his brother with Lucifer for the rest of eternity. "I don't think I can."

"Fine, but at least promise me this way, indulge me a little." he said and Dean nodded since he could definitely do that. "Promise me, that after I jump into that hole, you go with Lisa or Castiel. Get the hell out of hunting or stick with someone you're happy with."

"Sam I am no-"

Sam once again interrupted him because he wasn't falling for it anymore. "Dean, shut up. Promise me that you will spend your life happy whether it's with Lisa or Castiel, promise me."

Dean didn't even want to make this promise because making promises, saying sentimental shit always guaranteed a sad ending. He didn't want one this time but he couldn't let his brother go with the plan until he knew he would be alright. "I promise Sam now can we stop with the girl talk?"

"We can." he smiled and let Dean go back to what he was doing. Sam stayed at his spot for a few more seconds and could swear he felt…a presence, a very soothing one. _Gabriel…_ It was his first thought and he even looked around for a few seconds seeing nothing. _At least Dean promised me he will be happy and Lucifer will regret killing Gabriel._

* * *

Sam had said yes, just as he planned too. Dean was the only one left standing after Lucifer had gone inside of Sam and had to hurry to get the cage opened up while Sam fought with Lucifer. Inside of Sam's head it was empty, not dark but just white and absolutely nothing around him. "Lucifer! Show your face you son of a bitch!" he yelled wanting to get this fight over with.

"I can bring him back Sam." answered Lucifer standing about ten feet behind Sam. The hunter quickly turned around glaring at him. "You want Gabriel back but you can't do anything about it. You couldn't do anything about Jess's death or you mother's and now you lost another love."

"Shut up." he said not wanting to talk about anyone else when they were supposed to focus on each other. Sam was trying to get inside of Lucifer's mind to find things to attack him with so Lucifer wasn't the only one getting anywhere. He couldn't get inside of his mind and every time he tried there was a wall blocking him.

Lucifer smiled at the attempts to get inside of his mind and shook his head. "You can't get inside of me Sam, you're weak, always have been." he taunted and suddenly they were back in the motel where Gabriel had died. It was the memory of Lucifer walking through the hall, killing Baldur, and then it quickly fast forwarded to the point when Lucifer stabbed Gabriel in the stomach.

Sam was transfixed by the memory as he watched Gabriel's face. He instantly wished he could take the pain away from Gabriel but he luckily looked at Lucifer's face. Lucifer looked sad and regretful for what he was doing to Gabriel. Even after Gabriel's body fell to the ground he had temporarily forgotten about him because of Lucifer's face. He had seen Gabriel's dead body already but Lucifer looked like he was about to, cry? It struck him as odd and as the memory faded. His glare was gone as he focused again on the present time Lucifer. "You didn't want to kill him. You regret that." he stated.

Lucifer instantly scowled and shook his head. "I do not regret killing him. He shouldn't have gotten in my way."

"No, you were about to-" he started before Lucifer was suddenly right in front of him and punched him in the jaw.

Sam staggered back and tried to get inside of Lucifer's mind since he found a chip in his armor. He was kind of surprised he found one so soon but instead of getting into Lucifer's mind he was kicked in the stomach and sent to the ground. "You will not win. Just relax and let me take care of my brother." he smiled down at him but there was no emotion in his eyes. Lucifer would not be reminded of Gabriel and began to force all the deaths Sam caused, people he couldn't save, things he had done wrong, and everything he could so that when he leaned down to set his hand on his head, he had control.

Dean had managed to get the cage door opened and turned back to Sam just as he was getting up. "Sam!"

"I got him, but not for long." he replied as he slowly got up with the help of Dean and leaned heavily against his brother. "He's strong…"

"I know but just get in the cage and it'll be over." he said softly not wanting to lose his brother but he had no right to make that choice.

Sam pushed Dean away when he got close to the wall where the opening was and stood in front of it preparing himself for what he was about to do. The only thing was, this was Lucifer pretending to be Sam and after a few seconds his posture straightened. He turned around with a small smirk on his face. "You really thought he could beat me?" he asked before turning back around to disable the opening and picked up the rings. Dean's hopes instantly disappeared when he realized who was in control of his brother's body and he couldn't do anything. All he could do was watch as Sam, no Lucifer pocket the rings and smile at him. "Sorry, he's gone. I told you that I was going to win, I always win."

* * *

Dean sat in his car looking at the hill that he was about to go over. On the other side there would be Michael and Lucifer, Sam and Adam. He was here to help Sam and keep the apocalypse from happening but he was also bringing Bobby and Castiel with him. They would appear later but last time they went after Lucifer with a group things didn't go well and this time they were going to be stopping the apocalypse right in front of the two running the whole show. He believed in his brother, he just needed help and that's what he was here for. He was always here for his brother and he wasn't about to stop now. Dean turned on the radio and let the music blast loud while he pulled up and over the hill.

Lucifer and Michael turned to watch as the Impala drove up close and Dean stepped out. "You do not belong here Dean." glared Michael.

"I do deserve to be here. You both are in my brothers and I'm here to talk to Sam." he stated needing to get to his brother so they could beat the two of them.

"Your brother is far gone now Dean, there's no reason even trying." pointed out Lucifer with a small smirk.

"Leave now Dean." demanded Michael. "I need to settle this with my brother alone."

Castiel zapped Bobby and him to the cemetery so that they could get rid of Michael. He was nervous to stand up to his brothers directly like this but it was the right thing to do. He would make sure Dean was able to talk with Sam because the brothers needed to be protected. "Hey assbutt!" he yelled at Michael.

Michael and Lucifer both turned to look at the two newcomers but before they could say anything Castiel threw the Molotov at Michael. It exploded and set Michael on fire, holy fire. He screamed before the holy fire enveloped him and he disappeared. "Castiel, did you just Molotov my brother?"

"Uh…no?" he answered trying not to make it sound like a question since he was confused. Lucifer did just watch him Molotov him so there was no reason for the question. Castiel did know what was about to happen though as Lucifer raised his hand and snapped. His body exploded and Bobby's eyes widened as he looked at where Castiel was just a few seconds ago.

Dean's eyes didn't leave the spot where Castiel was just a few seconds ago. He bit his lip as his heart suddenly stopped. It felt like it stopped, his chest was tight, he was barely breathing, and he was already hoping that this was a dream. His brother had failed at beating Lucifer and now Castiel was dead. Castiel is dead… Those words affected him a lot more than he could have ever imagined and one of the other more prominent thoughts he had was that he screwed up again. He should have just told Castiel what he felt instead of pushing him away so much because now he didn't have that chance. He was horrible at this kind of thing, always waiting until the chance was gone but he had one more chance now with Sam. Dean tried to force himself to stop thinking about Castiel as he faced Lucifer again. "Let me talk to Sam."

* * *

Time passed by quickly for Dean since he was doing his best to focus on Sam. The events passed by quickly and then suddenly he was sitting against his Impala watching the entrance to Lucifer's cage close. Dean knew what happened, Bobby was killed by Lucifer, he got beat up by Sam, he pleaded Sam to come back, he came back, and now the apocalypse was avoided with both archangels in the cage. He got up so he could walk over to where the ten foot wide hole used to be and fell to his knees. Dean lost people before but not like this, not all at once. As much as he would like to say the death of his brother was the one who affected him the most it wasn't, it was Castiel's. "Cas…" he said softly feeling himself getting close to crying.

"Dean." replied Castiel standing beside him and completely alive. It was amazing he was even alive but he was here. He had already helped Bobby so he was alive again and he rested his fingers on Dean's head so he could heal him.

Dean looked up at the voice and his eyes widened. The pain was gone in more ways than one as he stood up. "Cas?" he asked. "You…"

"I know Dean but this is real." he assured him with a small nod. "I'm sor-"

Dean cut Castiel off as he quickly pulled the angel into a deep kiss. His arms were tight around Castiel and even though he loved his brother, he _loved_ Castiel more. He really thought that he had lost him and maybe it was still a threat in his mind that it was forcing him to be this forward. It didn't matter though as he pulled away from the kiss. Castiel was too stunned and confused to know what to do so he was waiting for another clue from Dean. "Stupid son of a bitch, don't die on me again." he said before kissing Castiel again.

Castiel did remember the deal that Dean had planned and the other times they had kissed. They didn't feel as needy as this one or…passionate? He wasn't sure if it was the right word but this time around he returned the kiss. After a few minutes and being able to tell that Dean was about to need air he pulled away from the kiss trying to not look confused but it seemed that Dean was breaking everything he told him not to do. "Dean, I don't understand."

"I love you." he said as if that would explain everything right now so that he could get back to what he was doing.

Castiel's body relaxed at those words and he felt that warmth again. He hated ignoring it because it was a nice feeling when he was around Dean and he could feel it enveloping his body. His lips tingled again like they did after they first kissed. "You are okay now with this?"

Dean nodded slowly and knew that after all this time, there was no way he could really stop feeling for Castiel the way he did. There was no point in trying to fight it since he almost lost the one thing that he has managed to keep by his side. The one thing that understood everything wrong with his life and still _saved_ him. "You have no fucking idea." he said closing the distance between them again so they could kiss.

Dean and Castiel barely made it to the Impala and Bobby was thankful that Castiel zapped him back home. Bobby also had his own grief to deal with because in some way, they had hoped they could still keep Sam alive. Sam was still in Dean's mind as well, he just was focusing on something else. He was doing what his brother wanted him to do, be happy with the person of his choosing. It just so happened to be Castiel who was still all hands as he drove away from the cemetery. They could barely get to the Impala because he didn't want to stop kissing Castiel or touching him and the angel was in the same boat as him. After he got a good distance from the cemetery he pulled over so that he could get Castiel back for not stopping long enough for him to drive.

Castiel didn't do much to Dean other than trying to work what clothes he could off, which meant unbuttoning his pants and shirt. When Dean did stop driving he immediately pushed Castiel's hands away from him and motioned to the back of the Impala. "We can't do anything up here." he stated and got out of the car before going into the back seat. Castiel just zapped himself back there and when Dean got back inside he leaned over to kiss him deeply. Dean returned the kiss and pushed at the trench coat wanting the overcoat off his body already.

"I'm not experienced…" stated Castiel because he had seen sex before, he just never got around to having occasion. He was helping in getting out of his clothes and at the same time he was trying to get Dean out of his clothes.

"It's my first time too…well with a guy anyway." he said but he had an idea of how it would need to be done.

Castiel nodded at that as he leaned in for another kiss. Dean focused on it letting everything else just happen. Their clothes were removed and the moment their bare erections touched, moans escaped from both of them. Dean wrapped his hand around both of them and it didn't feel awkward for him as he began stroking. Castiel moaned louder and pushed Dean onto his back so he could buck against his hand. It felt really good and he didn't want the pleasure to stop.

It continued to heat up between the two males as their bodies moved together, each trying to find the sensitive spots one the other, and the only thing Dean didn't expect was Castiel becoming more dominant. Castiel was beginning to get comfortable and want more from Dean, kissing lower down his neck and onto his collarbone. Little marks were made before he set himself in the middle of Dean's legs. Dean didn't even care where things were going right now because he was in pure bliss and returning as much pleasure as he could to Castiel.

Dean didn't realize what was going on until he felt a finger prodding at his entrance. "Wait, wait Cas." he said suddenly feeling unsettled as he tried to pull away but with the back seat of the Impala not being very large he had nowhere else to go.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I don't…I mean…" he said trying to figure out what to say without discouraging Castiel. "Lube, we need lube." Castiel tilted his head wondering what he could mean by that. "Just look in the glove department." Castiel leaned over the seat so he could find this lube that Castiel was talking about. Dean wasn't even going to explain why he had lube because that would be too embarrassing. It hurt also at the same time since Sam was the one who gave it to him as a gag gift. _Sam….._

"Is this it?" asked Castiel once he was back and examining the small tube that he had found.

Dean nodded and grabbed the bottle. "We need this to make it hurt less." he said opening the bottle and grabbing Castiel's hand before pouring it onto his fingers. He couldn't believe at what he was about to say next but it didn't scare him whatsoever. "Stretch me."

Castiel raised an eyebrow able to sense that Dean was tense and at the same time steady. "Are you sure?"

"I definitely want this." he assured Castiel and as if on cue Castiel went back to the dominating force he was showing that he could be. Dean moaned lightly when Castiel began marking up his neck again with bites and sucks while he felt a small pressure and pain from a finger being pushed inside of him. He tightened up at first but he relaxed when Castiel's other hand stroked him quickly thumbing the head. Dean felt more pain as Castiel pushed up to three fingers inside of him to stretch him. His moans were lessening though with each finger even if he was stroking his cock. "Okay Cas, I'm ready." he said feeling like he was being teased now because he was used to the fingers and wanted more.

Castiel pulled his fingers out and Dean picked up the lube again to pour it on his hand. He then wrapped it around Castiel's cock at the base before stroking him. Castiel dug his fingers slightly into his shoulders and moaned at the feeling. It felt really good to have Dean's hand on him and he bit his lip trying to hold back the moans for now. Once Dean thought he had lubed up his cock well enough he tried not to seem nervous. He has had sex a thousand times before, he had a feeling he wasn't even exaggerating on that number either but this time it just felt different. It wasn't because Castiel was a guy it was because of how much he wanted him. "Ready?" asked Castiel positioning himself at his entrance.

Dean nodded spreading his legs a little more to give him easier access and Castiel leaned over him again before pushing inside of Dean. There was still pain, a lot more than he thought there would be and bit his lip tensing up again. He knew it wasn't good but he couldn't stop himself from doing it. Castiel nibbled on his ear lightly, "Dean, relax and breathe." he said softly. Dean shivered at the words but his body responded and he relaxed focusing on his breathing. He didn't even realize that Castiel didn't take that much longer before he was fully inside of him. He let out a breathe he was holding for some reason and looked at Castiel with a smile.

"No longer, a virgin now Cas." he smirked and wrapped his arms around Castiel to pull him down for a deep kiss. His fingernails lightly dug into the middle of Castiel's shoulder blades making the angel moan. Castiel was very sensitive there on his back and he could feel his wings shift. He wished that Dean could touch them and take a feather but he was just a human who couldn't' see them. Dean could tell that it was sensitive and began purposely running his nails over the skin and digging them into the sensitive flesh. It made Castiel moan louder and he set his hand on Dean's shoulder, where his hand print to try to push his hands away but got a better reaction. Dean moaned arched his back slightly.

Castiel raised an eyebrow not believing that what little grace he used to patch up Dean back to his perfect body could react to his touch. He squeezed the scar that had faded slightly over time and Dean moaned louder trying to move his arm away from him. He kept his hand there in a pretty firm grip and began to move inside of Dean.

Dean didn't like how the scar continued to be so sensitive especially when he found a sensitive spot to mess with on Castiel. To get him back before he really started moving he dug his nails into the skin and ran them in between his shoulder blades. Castiel moaned tightening the grip on the scar and making Dean moan again as loud as him. After that it started a power play between the two as each one tried to make the other moan the loudest from the most sensitive part on the body.

Castiel was going faster now in and out of Dean. He soon gave up on the scar even as he gripped Dean's hips and lifted them up so he could try getting deeper. Dean knew he had done something right when he suddenly felt a stab of pleasure going through his body making him moan louder than the scar. "F-fuck! Hit that, again." he moaned trying to direct Castiel and wrapped his legs tightly around Castiel's body to make sure the angle didn't change.

Even Castiel liked that spot because when he had hit it, Dean got a little tighter. He moaned as the angel did continue to get him in deeper and thrusted faster into Dean. It was hard to continue hitting Dean's prostate but once he found it again he made sure to keep everything the way it was. Dean's moans pitched louder and he couldn't move from the grip Castiel had on him to insure he could hit the same spot. He felt his insides start to twist and he closed his eyes tightly. It was very warm in the back of the Impala making the heat between the two of them nearly unbearable.

Castiel would agree with Dean if he wasn't so focused on Dean and everything about him. He knew that Dean had a beautiful soul but it was even brighter now. He didn't know why but everything about Dean was better at this moment. Their eyes locked onto each other as they had done so many times before but this time the message that Castiel had been waiting for was spoken in those amazingly green eyes. He was close to his very first release and as he continued to move faster and hit Dean's prostate, it wasn't until Dean reached his climax that it helped push Castiel over the ledge.

"Cas!" he moaned the other's name loudly as he arched his back and muscles tightened. Dean released hard between their chests and just a few seconds after him so did Castiel.

"Dean!" moaned Castiel and thrusted one last time into Dean before releasing himself. Castiel found himself a little breathless and leaned down to capture Dean's lips. Dean was still a little breathless himself but returned the kiss all the same. He really enjoyed that and it was a lot better than just dreaming about it. It even beat all the hot times he had with women before. "Was I okay Dean?"

Dean let out a single laugh at first before the rest of his laughter came out and shook his head. Castiel thought that he had done something wrong and tilted his head again. "No, Cas you were fine, perfect." he assured him. Castiel was still so different from everyone else or any girl he could have hooked up with but he would rather have him. "I love you Cas and I'm not going to be taking it back any time soon okay? I really love you and I didn't like the idea of almost losing you." he explained knowing that was the most explanation anyone had ever gotten, ever about his feelings.

Castiel felt his chest swell and wanted to hear those words again. He would love to hear them again but he shouldn't be selfish now. Dean deserved to be happy and go live his life after stopping the apocalypse. He deserved so much better than to stay in this game of death, hunting, and angels. These thoughts didn't show on his face though as he smiled. He let his thoughts stay in one place for now as he enjoyed hearing those words, enjoyed Dean, and enjoyed this moment. Castiel didn't expect it to be exactly like this but now that it was here he wanted to keep it this way. "I love you too." he said his smile growing past what he would usually have but Dean liked to see that on him. "But if you wanted to stay with me, you would still have to hunt and in be danger."

"I don't care. Sam…" he started and had to pause as the sadness he felt began to ruin this moment. He had more time to mourn right now he was making a pretty big decision for himself. "Sam made me promise that I would stay with hunting with you or go with Lisa. I want to be with you. That apple pie life isn't something for me, I want you." Now that was as close as he was going to get to a chick flick moment. He felt like he was already in one and he blamed his brother for making it a big deal that he liked Castiel more than he let on.

Castiel nodded not going to argue but he didn't want this for Dean. He wanted him to try for that apple pie life, try for true happiness, and he wouldn't get that from him. He was still an angel, he would still have to hunt, and even if he made a promise to Sam, he knew the option that would really bring him more happiness. "Should we get a hotel?" he asked.

"Nah, we'll be okay in here." he assured Castiel and felt the angel pull out, then settle onto his chest. "I know you don't need to sleep but try." he urged.

"I will." he assured Dean as he began to let his thoughts wander on how he could get Dean to try the apple pie life. It wasn't fair that he wouldn't even try for it and even though he felt like he had been waiting for Dean to say those words, to be his it wasn't right. Castiel knew that this would hurt him but it was for the better. He waited until Dean was fast asleep before he looked up at the hunter. He truly did love him and that's why he was going to do this, he was going to let him have the happiness he sought out which wasn't with him. "I love you Dean." he said and leaned up to kiss his forehead.

This type of kiss however hid any and all memories of how Dean loved, cared, and wanted Castiel. He didn't remove them completely but made it impossible for Dean to remember anything that happened in the past hour and all of his feelings. Castiel pulled away from Dean's body and used some of his angel mojo to clean up Dean, get him dressed, and in a motel. He stood outside of the room staring at the door for a few extra seconds. As much as he wanted to stay, he knew this was better for him. When did Dean would wake up, he would believe he had left the cemetery, chatted with Castiel most of the way, stopped to get a hotel room, and would continue onto Bobby's in the morning. Then he was sure he would make the decision of living a hunting free life at Lisa's. He turned away already feeling the familiar pain when Dean rejected him before but he ignored it easily and disappeared to take care of some of his own business.

* * *

**FIRST OFF! I am so fucking sorry for this being late you guys. I tried my best but with holidays and Black Ops 2 being great distractions I could hardly work on. I got the first parts down really fast but when it comes to sex, I slow down. I get a paragraph done and then I stop, get some more lines, then stop. I'm not that good at writing sex so sorry about it not being great in the first place but I keep trying. XD I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and don't murder me for how long it takes me sometimes to get these up.**


	15. Author's Note

NOT A CHAPTER

I feel bad about saying it but it's really not a chapter and I will delete it once I can complete the one I've been working on. It's been difficult trying to find out how to continue on with what I still have planned so I tried backing away from it and thinking of different ways or whatever but it hasn't helped. One thing for sure, this story will not be dropped. I just began thinking that I should plan for the Dean/Cas Big Bang so that I can get my story done in time. I have no idea how long my story will be but I'm hoping for 50k or around or higher so hit me up there and I'm sure after I worked on this story I will be able to focus more on Gotta Have Love. Just have too many ideas and with the Big Bang going to start soon I'm already being overwhelmed. Thank you so much for following/reviewing/reading this story and I will not drop it here, I promise!


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